Fear of the Dark

Fire in the belly

2011-12-19T13:26:00.000-08:00

It is with great pride that I inform the world that students in Malaysian Universities are taking a stand for once. They are no longer conforming with the whims and fancies of the powers to be, and finally have got some fire in their bellies.

It has been too long since I blogged and I must convey my humblest apologies. Blogging you see is similar to reading a Milan Kundera novel. Unless you persevere with the chapter, you'll be dumbfounded by the intricacies of his vivid descriptions.

In his book ironically titled, "The Book of Laughter and forgetting" he describes the struggle of man against power is that of the struggle of memory against forgetting.
It is in that light that I begin todays fiery post. I have always sat back in my hourly cajoles with the angels of Azure, slowly drifting away as my brain reaches its saturation point, wondering if having infinite memory, being able to remember and then recall every bit of information i accepted would be an asset or a curse. It is the power of forgetting that allows us to forgive, to move on and to fill our minds with other thoughts and memories to keep us in a constant motion of contention.

It is astounding that it is in this same phenomena that our governments have constantly persevered to frustrate us continuously on a daily basis. I bring your attention to the politician. In some nations, politicians are held in high esteem - these nations happened to be the impoverished third world countries coincidentally. In others, politicians are where they should be, as the butt of all jokes, as the infamous one goes.

Child: mum what are prostitutes?
Mum: thats where politicians come from.

It is never the best debater, more eloquent speaker or wisest philosopher that embarks on a career in politics.

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. ~Martin L. Gross, A Call for Revolution, 1993
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato

Having said that, I better stop mocking the politicians. I might wind up being black bagged and disposed off.
After all,
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed ~Mao Tse-Tung

In short, I just wish to say IM BACK!!!!!

Sanctificetur Nomen Tuum

2011-04-23T06:03:00.001-07:00

Luke 11:2-4
"Father,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation."

It has been a while since my last post, but today's blog entry concerns my recent need to understand death and how it affects us. The most common theme in poetry, the source of fear and yet the only certainty in life.
The end, the absence of life, the passing on of the soul, the closing of a chapter.
I accompanied Lenster to Maundy Thursday, when the Last Supper took place, and the sermon was ended with the reading of the God's prayer. Hallowed be thy name. Possibly from the Book of Matthew rather than Luke, but my memory fails me.

For those who've known me for a while now, My favourite Maiden song ever has to be 'Hallowed be thy name'. A song written with so much empathy, and sang with so much force, yet typified by the galloping rhythm that is a classic Steve Harris inspired Maiden song.

The song takes us into the realms of a prison inmate on death row. We shall take a look at this anthem and how well it was written in accordance to the the Kübler-Ross Model aka The Five Stages Of Grief, first introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.

The Model of Coping with Dying, which was based on retrospective cohort study involving more than 500 dying patients. It describes, in five discrete stages, a process by which people cope and deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or experience a catastrophic loss, most often death.
It is now a widely accepted model of emotional and psychological responses that many people experience when faced with a life-threatening illness or a life-changing situation. These stages do not only apply to loss as a result of death but may also occur in someone who experience a different life-changing event, such as divorce or a breakdown of a relationship, or loss of a job.

Dr. Kübler-Ross added that it's important to note that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological. Not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-changing event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in the order that is written. Reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them.
Not everyone goes through all of the steps or goes through them in a linear fashion. Some steps may be missed entirely, others may be experienced in a different order, some may be re-experienced again and again and some may get stuck in one.

The stages:
Denial
Possibly the easiest to spot of all the stages, denial is the rejection of reality as it occurs be it temporary. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death. A bad joke I once heard some time back, someone was asked "what if you found out you had a life threatening disease and only have month to live?' His answer was "I'd consult another doctor". Now those of you who share a chuckle, also note that subtly, denial has taken place.

Anger
The will to live is one that transcends logic. Countless of patients whom you'd thought would benefit less from living actually carry on living. Hope may be a driver to live, but it is not essential. Anger is symbolic as the last stand, the fighting cry, the primal scream. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.

Bargaining
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. It is a stage of acceptance, knowing the inevitable is at hand but literally buying time before it hits. It is the first sign of giving up on life. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."

Depression
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. His hands are all down and out, and the cards have been dealt. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. It is the final attempt to cut off all worldly ties that are deemed temporary, like the waves of an ocean.

Acceptance
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.

And now we shall dissect the lyrics of the song to highlight the stages mentioned above.

I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low

Acceptance

When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me

Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream

Denial

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end

Denial

As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?

Anger, Bargaining

As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away

Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth

When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.

Acceptance

Now why did I put up such an elaborate tale of death and despair using the Lord's Prayer as well as an Iron Maiden classic?
It's because a fellow Malaysian, whom I do not know, nor will I ever, has been arrested in Singapore for trafficking drugs. Singapore as you all know is the country with the Highest Per Capita execution rate in the world, dwarfing that of Turkmenistan (in 2nd place) by 1000%, (1.314 vs 0.143)

In 2010 British author Alan Shadrake published his book Once a Jolly Hangman - Singapore Justice in the Dock, which was critical of the Singapore judicial system. Shadrake was arrested whilst promoting the book in Singapore and later sentenced to six weeks in prison for contempt of court. He is also charged with criminal defamation. The case attracted worldwide attention, putting the Singapore legal system in the spotlight. Whilst I do not condone trafficking drugs, we are but pruning weeds instead of uprooting them. Because as much as I'd like to think that 19 year olds have gone along far in life by becoming drug lords, we'll have to accept the realities that these boys are mere pawns.

The chief executioner, Darshan Singh, said that he has executed more than 850 people during his service from 1959 using the phrase: "I am going to send you to a better place than this. God bless you." This included 18 people on one day, using three ropes at a time. Singh also said that he has hanged 7 people within 90 minutes.

All Capital cases are heard by a single judge in the High Court of Singapore. After conviction and sentencing, the sentenced has one appeal to the Court of Appeal of Singapore. If the appeal fails, the final recourse rests with the President of Singapore, who has the power to grant clemency on the advice of the Cabinet. The exact number of successful appeals is unknown. Poh Kay Keong had his conviction overturned after the Court found his statement to a Central Narcotics Bureau officer was made under duress.Successful clemency applications are thought to be even rarer. Since 1965, President's clemency has been granted six times. The last clemency was in May 1998 when Mathavakannan Kalimuthu received pardon from President Ong Teng Cheong with the sentence commuted to life imprisonment.

A very insightful article written by William Gibson is linked here

YONG VUI KONG, a Sabahan, was sentenced in November 2009 to death for drug trafficking. He was 19. On April 4, Yong lost his final appeal against a mandatory death sentence. He will be executed in three months unless he is granted clemency by Singapore's president.

Sabahan Yong Vui Kong is on death row in Singapore for drug trafficking. Malaysiakini is publishing Yong's final letters to Yetian, a member of the Save Vui Kong Campaign, in the next 12 weeks as he faces death.

Dear Yetian,(the person in who first brought his case into light)

Thank you for your letter, and thank you for giving me a platform and the strength to tell my story. This is my first letter. I hope to let everyone know what my life is like in prison.

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Yong Vui Kong. In early 2011, I celebrated my 23rd birthday in prison. I wasn't alone during my birthday. Lots of friends on the outside were also celebrating with me.

Why am I in jail? It's because I helped traffic drugs into Singapore. I was caught when I was 19. It's been a few years now. I am a death row inmate, and by right, I should have been dead long ago. But a lot of people have been helping me, and that's why I'm still alive today. If it wasn't for all these people, I think I'd have left this world long ago.

My mother doesn't know I've been sentenced to death. I've told her I'll be going to a far away place to seek enlightenment. I told her not to worry about me. She believed me.

Let me now tell you about my life inside here.

I get up at around 4 every morning. I don't have an alarm clock because I don't need one. I've gotten used to this routine, and it has not changed these past few years. Even the prison wardens know I am an early riser. They see me getting up each morning via the CCTV inside my cell.

After washing up and brushing my teeth, I'll spend time studying the (Buddhist) scriptures until 7am. After that, I'll meditate quietly until 9am. Some people might think I'm just trying to kill time, but in my heart, I believe it's better to make full use of my time than to just let it slip away.

I do not fear death

At 9am, I have breakfast. I don't eat the same things as the rest of the inmates. Even the wardens know this and will only deliver vegetarian meals to me.
Vegetarianism has become a habit for me. The benefits of vegetarianism is something you have to experience yourself. I can tell you it's a good thing, but you might not believe me. I encourage everyone to give vegetarianism a try.

In the past, when I knew I was going to die soon, I couldn't stop crying because I was scared. But the Buddhist priest who visits me every week has taught me not to fear death.

Earlier this year, a friend inside left us. Before he left, I chanted for him. He left peacefully.

Until I die, I'll use my time wisely to counsel people and tell them not to choose drugs.

Over the past few years, my relationship with my older brother, Yun Leong, has improved a great deal. We used to fight over all kinds of things.

But now, our relationship is much improved. If not for his help, you wouldn't be reading this letter now. I am really grateful to him. He visits me every Monday. We chit chat and he listens to me talk about Buddhism.

How many more Mondays will we have?

In the past, my rebelliousness made my brothers very unhappy. Now that I'm a changed person, my brothers feel much better. I think that's the least I can do.

Not enough time to learn everything

Actually, I'm doing very well in prison. The wardens show me a lot of respect. Whenever my brother visits, they would unshackle me and we'd bow to each other. My brother tells me they hold me in high regard. I am humbled to know that.

In my spare time, I study the scriptures. I'm afraid I won't have enough time to learn everything. I don't even think there's enough hours in a day for me to study. A lot of people think that it must be tortuous for me to spend an extended time in prison, but I feel good because I can make full use of the time to learn. I feel very fulfilled.

I like to chant. But because of the strict rules inside prison, I can't use normal meditation beads. That's because they're afraid I'll sharpen the crystal beads and use them to kill myself. My priest is very thoughtful. He used flour to make little beads, strung them up and gave them to me. I use them when I chant.

Suicide? I've never thought of it. Life is to be cherished, not squandered.

Yetian, thank you. I'll stop here today. Amitaba.

His tale is that of a wayward teen, one who took a road more convoluted than the rest of us, but is death really the only option for him. His hopes disdained, his dreams stripped. He shall never again enjoy the waves of water in his feet as he walks by the sea removing sand from his sandals. He shall never again sniff the smell of roasting coffee in a parlour nearby. He has reached acceptance, and unless he gets a presidential pardon, his fate is sealed.
Not a bad article for the solemn weekend that commemorates the death of the Lord Jesus Christ.

fortiter in re, suaviter in modo Part 1

2010-11-29T03:04:00.000-08:00

Resolute in action, gentle in manners

I have sat here quietly watching over as fellow peers take to the streets in protest of the recent plans to implement fees for local students.
Does this affect me? Nae...
Do I care? aye...

It is an utter disgrace the way University goers, ie, less than 1% of the worlds population took to the streets in protest only to be dubbed as hooligans thus tarnishing the reputations of students nationwide.

Let me first explain the concept of a protest. It is a formal objection or affirmation with earnest solemnity. Now someone spell out where in that very statement did the flinging of chairs and whatnot at the cops and riot police become a necessity. Now a riot on the other hand is a form of civil disorder characterized often by disorganized groups lashing out in a sudden and intense rash of violence against authority.

My point made? let me re-evoke the scenes through the the visual mediums. after all a picture is apparently 1000 words.

The rightful emotion for a protest IS AND SHOULD BE sadness and displeasure, not anger.

“Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.” - Tom Gates

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned" - Buddha

Now let me first and foremost introduce you spoilt brats who need an excuse to take to the streets in violent protest for an increment in fees. I feel your pain, but, suck it up and deal with it like proper educated people and mount a protest worthy of taking note.

Lets look back in time at how nonviolence, or 'Ahimsa' a Buddhist principle can suppress agression and achieve so much more by striking the right notes.

The one I've read about most recently would be the Tank Man. Now most of you would've not even heard of the Tank Man, but aged 19, this legend stood up to 4 tanks in 1989. Now to those of you who're not well versed with what I would term general knowledge, China back then still had a very closed door policy to the world.

As the military strangled the life and freedom out of every living soul, the few self declared brave ones mounted a violent protest and got arrested to be black-bagged and never heard of. Now this would not happen in the UK due to 'human rights' bull shit, cos lets face it, if it did happen, you whimps would've never taken to the streets to begin with.

This is the story of Tiananmen Square, June 4th 1989.

Political reforms swept China during the 80s and a lose market economy was set up as a method of liberalization under Chairman Mao. Students and intellectuals however felt these reforms were merely lip service and felt a paradigm shift in the political system was required. They felt the Communist Party of China still had a Gorbachev-like stronghold on the system and therefore demanded a reform for democracy instead. The revolutionary Hu suffered a myocardial infarct. Being the most underrated reformer of modern times, Hu played a pivotal role in the liberalisation of the communist law in China. His daring opposition and forthright calls for rapid reform was seen as open contempt of the Maoist excesses and was made a suitable scapegoat in the eyes of Deng the dick and others in the Mao administration, after the protests of 1987, Being a true man of honour, he politely resigned from the ruling party as Secretary General as a sign of protest. His death was mourned for 7 weeks, and thus sparked the infamous Tiananmen Square incident. But what was remarkable about the 100,000 people that gathered on that very day was there was no violence whatsoever. in fact they even erected a monument (the students at the Central Academy of Fine Art) representing the Goddess of Democracy.

They requested a dialogue with the government in order to discuss political reforms, a motion that was of course rejected, and huge groups of students decided to take to the SQUARE during the visit of Mikhail Gorbachev. Students nationwide participated in a hunger strike, for a week, and a well ordered daily march was conducted by students at Tiananmen Square. They stepped up by boycotting classes alongside lecturers. They were so well mannered, they even helped the police arrest 3 people who vandalised a picture of Chairman Mao just north of the Square. Such was the integrity of chinese students during the protest. Li Peng, famously known as Mao's right hand man finally caved in the proposed dialogue was agreed. At the same time, the Chinese Red Cross had set out to assist students who had collapsed amidst the protest and hungerstrike. A well thought out plan I'd say. So moving was this display of courage and unity amidst the dissatisfaction, Zhao Ziying, the General Secretary that replaced Hu made a public speech urging students to end the hungerstrike. In his infamous tearful speech where he begged and pleaded for students, "We are already old, it doesn't matter to us any more." (referring to himself) In contrast, the students were young and he urged them to stay healthy and not to sacrifice themselves so easily. Zhao's emotional speech was applauded by some students on the Square; it would be his last public appearance, as he was later placed in house-arrest till his death.

As it was the visit of Gorbachev and the international media was present, students ensured that their protests were seen and heard, as a peaceful, nonviolent one.

We've still to get to the Tank Man to talk about, so I'll pace this up. What happened next is the protests escalades as military personelle get mobilized to contain the protests. Rumours speculate about people getting shot and emotions flare up. Molotov cocktails are thrown at tanks and the military which sparked gunshots and many protestors perished. Now this bit was when the Beijing-ers got involved shielding the protestors as a sign of support and the gunshots seized.

What happens next cannot be expressed in mere words. Fresh a day after the carnage of the shootings and the mobilization of tanks to contain the protests (tanks apparently crushed some protestors as well), The tank man stood up and staked his claim, in the minds of every freedom crying soul worldwide.

Stay tuned for part 2!

Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur - Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time

2010-10-27T08:11:00.000-07:00

True to the statement above, in humility i apologize for not updating my blog in aeons. The lack of a stimulus compounded with the new phenomenon known as Facebook has led to my blog deteriorating like timber in a tropical climate infested with termites, almost beyond recognition.

I always took pride in the fact that people visit blogs to gain insight into the lives of others, and it is many forms that this insight is sought.

Some choose to blog about their new clothes, cars, pets, friends, ex's, spouses, trials, tribulations.

I blog on my thoughts. Dark, disturbed, warped, intelligent, logic-defying, passionate, whichever rules the day. thoughts are like the shirts you pull out of your cupboard. unless you've actually made a conscious decision to yank a shirt out from the middle, chances are the same ones will be lingering around for quite a bit.

Wafi, my housemate walked into my room and convinced me to blog about concept albums.

A dying breed, the last well known concept album to me was Cruelity and the Beast, by Cradle of Filth, an extreme metal band apparently according to Wikipedia although i'll argue they were more a Symphonic Black Metal band.

What constitutes the Black Metal sound is a question I am familiar with. A famous remark constantly made is 'WHY DOES HE SING IN SUCH A SCREECHY VOICE!??'

I share your views as the symphonic nature of the songs is more ubiquitously enjoyed in comparison to the acquired taste that is Black Metal.

Black Metal is a form of music that ranks under the Heading of Extreme Metal, which consists of Death, Doom, Black and Trash Metal.

A common denominator is the fact that the vocals are not exactly crystal clear as one would expect to find compared to - Power Metal or Heavy Metal where voice projection is a major asset.

Black metal relies on an eerie mythical mysterious nature that is often themed by tragedies, epics or most commonly satanism. As with most forms of metal, there grew a need to be 'more metal' than the predecessor and hence you have crappy bands that delve into realms that even the most liberal metalhead finds to be crap. It would be like getting Vanilla Ice to sing 'Across 110th street' by Bob Womack and expecting a better outcome. In moderation, the darker forms of metal is best described as hazelnut flavoured coffee syrup, striking a balance between symphony and screeching is the key. The actual screech itself is the hallmark of Black Metal and why it is present is not well understood. However my personal postulations are because Black metal is often described as the inner soul that needs to break away from the shackles of the material world and screeching is its way of just popping its head outside for a moment. Notice that screeching is an art and that is near impossible to replicate unlike growling and guttural vocals that originate from the back of the oropharynx, screeching according to the purists originate from the navel, where the umbilical cord once served as the only supply route for all forms of nutrition to a fetus. Hence the added obsession with unborn fetuses in the realms of black metal.

the true legionnaires of black metal however are the scandinavian bands, ie Mayhem, Emporer, Burzum, and my personal favourite - Immortal.

Back to my point about concept albums, a true masterpiece indeed. A whole album consisting of songs that resemble chapters of a complete story, such as Seventh Son of a Seventh Son by Iron Maiden, Tunes Of War by Gravedigger and Cruelty and the beast.

The pick of the bunch here under the heading of black metal would be cruelty and the beast - with the song that probably vies for my award for top 100 best written lyrics ever.

the songs are written in stanzas with chapter headings - which tend to also be the last line uttered for the song.

this Song was dedicated to the Countess Bathory, who if you have no clue about, i recommend a quick visit to wikipedia or the library. Her vampiric addiction possible led to the common notion that all vampires hail from Eastern Europe.

Bathory Aria

[I. Benighted Like Usher]

Snuffed tapers sighed
As Death left impressing
His crest of cold tears on the Countess

Benighted like ill-fated Usher
The House of Bathory shrouded
'Neath griefs dark facade

If only I could have wept
In mourning by Her side
I would have clasped Her so tight
Like storm-beached Aphrodite
Drowned on Kytherean tides

(*Kytherea/Cytherea- Greek Goddess of Fertility and Love - the non sexually charged version of Aphrodite)

And Kissed Her
For from Her alone
My lips would have known
Enigmas of shadowy vistas

Where pleasures took flesh
And pain, remorseless
Came freezing the breath
Of raucous life hushed unto whispers

Benighted.

Inhaling the pale waning moonlight that crept
Through the crypt of Her Lord who so lucidly slept

Benighted.

Exhaling the wail of black widowhood's toll
Waxing eternal night entered Her soul

Summary - chapter 1 - Bathory mourns the loss of her husband - cursed to die by a witch apparently although the less eccentric version states he dies from injuries sustained at war.
[II. A Murder of Ravens in Fugue]

Now haranguing grey skies
With revenge upon life
Gnathic (is a term used medically meaning mandible) and Sapphic (in this context refers to female homosexuality)
Needs begged gendercide

Delusions of Grandier denounced the revolt
Of descrying cursed glass, disenchanted in vaults
Encircled by glyphs midst Her sin-sistered cult

With hangman's abandon She plied spirit worlds
To Archangels in bondage
From light to night hurled
Cast down to the earth where torment would unfurl.......
- Summary - Her bloodlust and fetish for more extreme versions of sexual pleasures are luridly described.
But soon,
Her tarot proved
Hybrid rumours spread like tumours
Would accrue
And blight Her stars
To better bitter truths
Of cold bloodbaths
- Summary - the church found out of her ways
As bodies rose
In rigid droves
To haunt Her from their
Shallow burials imposed
When wolves exhumed
Their carthen wombs
Where heavy frosts had laboured long
To bare their wounds
summary - the bodies were found
To the depths of Her soul they pursued
Wielding their poison they flew
Like a murder of ravens in fugue

And knowing their raptures
Would shatter Her dreams
She clawed blackened books for damnation's reprieve
Baneful cawed canons on amassed enemies

So Hallow's Eve
As She received
Like Bellona to the ball
Those enemies
Fell-sisters heaved
Her torturies
Cross stained flagstones
To Her carriage reined to flee

But She knew She must brave the night through
Though fear crept a deathshead o'er the moon
Like a murder of ravens in Fugue

For each masked, jewelled gaze held dread purpose
Horror froze painted eyes to cold stares
And even Her dance
In the vast mirrors cast
Looked the ill of Her future
If fate feasted there....
summary = she is imprisoned in her castle as the punishment for her alleged killings.
[III. Eyes That Witnessed Madness]

In an age crucified by the nails of faith
When rank scarecrows of christ blighted lands
An aloof Countess born an obsidian wraith
Dared the abyss knowing well She was damned
Her life whispered grief like a funeral march
Twisted and yearning, obsessed an entranced
With those succumbing to cruelty
Crushed 'neath the gait(pattern of walking) of Her dance
A whirlwind of fire that swept through the briers
Of sweet rose Her thickets of black thorn had grasped...

She demanded the Heavens and forever to glean
The elixir of Youth from the pure
Whilst Her lesbian fantasies
Reamed to extremes
O'er decades unleashed
Came for blood's silken cure

But Her reign ended swiftly
For Dark Gods dreamt too deep
To heed Her pleas

When Her gaolers were assailed
With condemnations from a priest
Who'd stammered rites
In the dead of night
For maidens staining winding sheets

And She postured proud
When Her crimes were trowelled
And jezebelled to peasant lips
Though She smelt the fires
That licked limbs higher
To the tortured cunts of accomplices

So ends this twisted fable's worth
And though spared the pyre's bite
By dint of nobled bloodlined birth
Her sins (crimes) garnered Her no respite

Forever severed from the thrill of coming night
Where slow Death alone could grant Her flight

"The Spirits have all but fled judgement
I rot, alone, insane,
Where the forest whispers puce laments for me
From amidst the pine and wreathed wolfsbane
Beyond these walls, wherein condemned
To the gloom of an austere tomb
I pace with feral madness sent
Through the pale beams of a guiltless moon
Who, bereft of necrologies, thus
Commands creation over the earth
Whilst I resign my lips to death
A slow cold kiss that chides rebirth
Though one last wish is bequathed by fate
My beauty shalt wilt, unseen
Save for twin black eyes that shalt come to take
My soul to peace or Hell for company"

My soul to Hell for company

- she spends the rest of her life away from the public all alone in her castle sanctuary.

epic.... truly an epic.

I guess I'll end my post here for today, with the notion that Black metal is a form of music that may be hard to accept even for metalheads who aren't big fans, but given a chance, it can be quite refreshing. Sadly, the conquests of bands like Mayhem and Burzum, both of whom are relatively better known for constantly giving churches 3rd degree burns rather than producing any decent form of music will forever be remembered as the biggest black metal bands alive.

Having said that, Immortal, a band that has stuck true to its roots of Black Metal without delving into the need to be satanists or to condemn religions and burn churches, is possibly the longest surviving band, that has not undergone revamps after every album. They're true pioneers of Norwegian black metal and my personal favourite black metal band.

until the next time, the guardian of metal stands tall, ensuring the safekeeping of the highest order of music - metal.

next week we may choose to do something proper extraordinary, like review Manowar... lol!

this goes out to the legend that wrote this to the papers yesterday. may your awesomeness never ever be forgotten

Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam

2010-07-11T09:02:00.000-07:00

Leviathan - Dragon Lord of the Western Tower and Throne

The awesome and fear inspiring dragon Leviathan is the lord of the wrathful and storming oceans of Chaos and is therefore one of the prime representatives of the dissolving powers of the acausal. Leviathan can be likened unto an Oroboros awakened that has let go of his own tail and, as a result, broken the closed circle and made the ten into eleven. Leviathan has by some been identified as a wrathful aspect of the Tad Ekam dragon-force mentioned in the Rig Veda and personifies the ophitic manifestation of the acosmic darkness of the unformed Chaos.

Leviathan is a powerful part of the essence beyond the limited forms of that which has been manifested within the cosmos and is the antithesis of all order, forms, laws and restricting structures. Leviathan is thus the Dark God of the eternal, paradoxical, becoming and a bringer of the formless and unbound Ur-essence. Leviathan, also called Theli, is the master of the bottomless seas of Wrathful Chaos who through the opening of the eleven dark gates shall overflow and drown the whole sephirotic creation with the crashing waves of the bitter waters of Sitra Ahra. Leviathan is therefore one of the anti-cosmic god forms associated with the re-establishment of the primordial acausality and a bringer of pan-dimensional disorder.

Leviathan, whose feminine aspect or counterpart sometimes is associated with Taninsam Lilith, is also the ruler over the Western Tower of Chaos whose gates according to the hidden lore open during the 'Walpurgis night' of the 30th of April. The anti-cosmic magician turns to the 'Chaosifer Tower' of Leviathan within those chaos-gnostic workings that aim at the opening of the dark portals and the channelling of the disharmonic acausal currents into the causal realm. The emanations of the Chaosifer Tower are also used within many black magical rituals with the intention of creating abrupt and disruptive change, confusing the enemy, causing madness and spreading panic.

The currents of the Chaosifer also play a central role within esoteric workings that have the objective of awakening both the inner and the outer aspects of the pneumatic Dragon Force and thus granting the magician the power to transcend the limitations of the cosmos and become as one with the dynamic and eternally becoming force of Chaos. Leviathan's tower and throne are the focal points and sources of power for many chaos-gnostic workings and a very strong link to the shapeless and non-created dark essence of both the inner and the outer Black Flame.

The rituals that have as their aim to channel the dark torrents of the Chaosifer Tower and the Throne of Leviathan can commence with the following short invocation:

"Vedar-Gal Tiekals Somdus Azerate!
Desurpur Kajp Gidupp Leviathan!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

In the name of Azerate, the eleven-headed and crowned dragon of Sitra Ahra, I N.N. salute the Tower of Chaosifer!

In the name of Azerate, I praise the grand and fear inspiring Dragon Tower whose anti-cosmic darkness is a monument to the Chaos that once was and again shall become!

By the power of the dead dragon, who shall soon resurrect and make one the eleven and overturn all forms into formlessness, I N.N. praise the Western Tower of Wrathful Chaos and call upon the forces of the dark acausal seas!

Proudly and in the name of Azerate, I kneel before the Dragon Tower of Leviathan, whose living darkness and demonic shadows bestow upon me the power to call forth the Ancient Ones and to open wide the locked gates of the Sitra Ahra realm of my anti-cosmic Gods!

In the name of Azerate, I N.N. salute the Tower of Chaosifer, which is the western point of ingress to the pan-dimensional Ur-essence of primordial Azoth, that after the death of my causal form shall grant my spirit entry to the elevenfold current of the Nightside!

Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam! (x11)

Hail Leviathan!
Hail Azerate!"

adapted from

Temple of The Black Light © 2010. All Rights Reserved.

my attention was drawn to this song by Dissection called Black Dragon. Now Anyone who's ever heard of BlackDragon would be reminded of the impact the black dragons had on society. The Black Dragon Society were these right wing ultranationalists that funded many revolutions around Asia including perhaps the most prominent one, Sun Yat Sen's overthrowing of the Qing Dynasty that brought an end to the imperial kingdom that had ruled from the dawn of time. They were aptly named for their ability in creating utter chaos and realising that even in Chaos there can be order.

Jon Nodtvedt pays tribute to the mythical/satanic folklore citing Apep, Jormungand, Tiamat, and Leviathan as being the one black dragon with many different names. A masterpiece in writing, bringing rise to the topic of the concept of God, and his multitude of names. Thus if the same concept is applied to Satanism, the Black Dragon, the breaker of the eleventh seal, is also worthy of many names. The cross culture reference to the one being that is the antagonist in every sacred scripture draws the line of similarities between religions and begs the question of if every religion is just a reinterpretation of another. I shall leave this discussion here as to not incite more hatred.

Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

We invoke thee, Black Dragon of Chaos
We evoke thee, O mighty dragon force
Awaken now from your aeonic slumber -- rise up from the abyss
Dragon of forgotten lore - let your Chaos rule forever more
Lotan - Raise your seven heads and let the ancient ones rule again

Apep - Dragon of devouring darkness, supreme ruler of emptiness
Open up your black diamond eyes and rejoice as Ra's creation dies

Jormungand - Lord of the poisonous sea, fulfill the twilight prophecy
Unleash your hatred upon all life and kill this world in the final strife
Tiamat - Queen of the formless deep - The Eleventh seal is now broken
Hark to your children's invocations and awaken from your dreadful sleep

Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

Leviathan - Tortuous one, by your Wrathful Chaos our war will be won
Bring forth your darkness, grant us your grace and enlighten us in your wicked ways
Typhon - Lord of dark desires, purify us with your smokeless fires
Make us at one with thyself and walk the earth once again

Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!
Tohu Tehom Theli Than Leviathan Tanin'iver Taninsam!

The concept of Chaos and Order is one that is in constant balance. The YinYang balance of equality accepts his concept as there cannot be order without chaos and vice versa. As the state of order demands the abolishment of chaos, but the state of chaos does not necessarily demand the abolishment of order. This is the concept of guerilla warfare as well as the main reason David possibly defeated the Goliath. In a split second of clarity, the recurrent patterns of chaos is understood and the interpretation of this pattern is paramount to gaining the upper hand in almost every situation that seems to spiral out of control. It is in our nature to naturally panic when things go awry, as it is our nature to constantly reflect on what went wrong, but to the one who strictly understands the tedious balance, it is in chaos that true order rises. Cuba for example, possibly the only non aligned nation to the United States that has survived the Cold War unscathed, revelled in this situation. Fidel Castro, being the visionary that he is, foresaw the need for evoking fear and uneasiness amongst his American foes, without actually doing anything, and thus has outlived every president that opposed him ( or he opposed.Castro had become a candidate for a seat in the Cuban parliament in the 1952 elections when former president, General Fulgencio Batista, ousted President Carlos Prío Socarrás in a coup d'état, cancelled the elections and assumed government as "provisional president". And today Raul Castro succeeds him, which kinda gives you the indication of how one small alteration can have such a profound effect.

Guess this post is a lil more vague that most of you would like, but to those who've understood it, you know who you guys are:)

Chaos and order - the perfect balance:)

Vigilo et spero

2010-06-18T17:12:00.001-07:00

In English: I keep awake and I hope.

This is an extraordinarily simply Latin proverb, the sort of thing that can be taught on the first day of Latin class. The word "et" plus two simple first conjugation verbs.

The meaning, however, is profound. This is one of those proverbs where two parts are combined to create a greater whole.

To keep awake, to be "vigilant" (this English word comes from the same Latin verb, hence proving not every V word reflects the female genitalia), is a good thing.

It is also a good thing to be hopeful; you don't want to ever feel "desperate" (this English word comes from the same Latin verb, negated - which makes you wonder why wasn't Latin the root language of conversation in the first place).

Yet it would be possible to keep awake without hope. This would be the staying awake that comes from worry, fear, anxiety. My greatest example, Asians - more precisely, the Chinese Mug-till-death flag bearers. Excuse my lack of political correctness, but fuck I'll call a spade a spade any day. As you know, I'm stuck in the University of Edinburgh, the muck of conformity and lack of spirit. Every 10 minutes some fucked up nut will post up a facebook post like ZZZ stress exam, sien, what are the muscle attachments to the coracoid process....etc. For the love of God, deal with it and stop spamming. No one wants to know how much of a dick you are and nobody fucking cares about how much you fucking need to study cos end of the day you're all gonna end up like Jo, the conventional resident officer from the House of God. Yes my insolent friends, Davidsons, Harrisons, Kumar and Clark will get you them initials, but House of God will reflect your true future. The feeble attempts of educating some of you muggers by intricately weaving communication skills and patient centred care into the curriculum has reaped nothing because in my exalted opinion, you can't teach someone to be humane. It is a gift, and may I add one that only a selected few possess. You can be as nice as you want at face value to pass your freaking OSCEs but the rigid nature of your questioning for history taking shall be taken to your gravestone, so much so it shall read 'Here lies .....'

Why my angst you say....because idiots like you make medicine seem hard. The noblest of professions in the world, the Art of Healing, and turned it into a scientific process. Patients made into lab rats, mere tools for your so called acquirement of knowledge. William Osler once said, '

He who studies medicine without books sails an uncharted sea, but he who studies medicine without patients does not go to sea at all'

Which makes some of you jump at my throats stating even Osler wanted us to use patients as lab rats. What he truly meant was to listen to them. Listen to their tales. The best teacher is an experienced teacher. And it was whilst listening to his patients, did he discover raised tender nodules on the pulps of a lady's finger tip and vehemently coined the eponym Osler's Node.

Oh well now that the rant is off, and I've fucked over ALMOST every Asian Medic, time for the great news. I'm now a Mac user. And its pretty darn fucking awesome.

Also, AS many of you people secretly stalk all my facebook activities, May I add yes I do baked, I always have and no dont gimme that you dont look like one who bakes.

Yes i do realise there is a huge population of Fags that bake, and I do realise the image i portray as the unpolished jagged bearded roughian, it is against my principles to be gifted with the whisk and ladle. Well I am, so suck it up:) . Yes I am better than you at most things in life and life is unfair, which is why you're reading my blog and shaking your head at the audacity but lets face it, i couldnt care less about your blogs now could I. hmmm, good way to ward off readers now isnt it. Anyway, in other news, Someone online told me people only read stuff on this blog cos they've got nothing better to do in life:) It wasn't me who said it. Rather this person whom i've possibly not spoken to in 2 years so yeah, she's judged all you people:)

The song above, Awaken, i thought was appropriate seeing that it has been eons since i last blogged. Yes life has taken its toll on me. Age has crept up. Phooey... I just couldnt be bothered to be honest, and like I still can't be hence the crappy blog entry. I guess in growing up, i've become less argumentative and provocative, and just look on as the world eats itself with mucky numbnuts who centralise their life alongside the pursuit of a degree rather than knowledge. I can safely say till this day i've never turned down anything with the excuse of exams, and my rep speaks for itself. 2 hours of your life spent kite flying will not affect much of your sad life. But then again, if you are the group of people that im hitting at, you're life possibly consists of studying, facebooking, stalking blogs, studying, going out with friends to the library to study, going for 1 meal a week outdoors and taking 56 photos of peace signs, engaging in a potluck post exams, and tagging your friends as meals, cooking substandard dishes but talking it up, whilst the world is going out and having a good time. you live in your nutshell and yet you feel you have enjoyed sufficiently in life, not realising you were better off just staying in your native land doing the exact same thing you've been doing all your boring life.

Why the angst you may ask, well simple. Its cause my Louis Dega is leaving and thus the idea of spending the rest of my time without a fellow visionary sickens me. A culture we share, the pursuing of knowledge for the betterment of oneself rather than a sheet of paper with our names on it is a lost cause to many these days. Which is why i bring myself to the topic of wit. A dying form of intelligence. One that is not acquired but inherited. Like the ability to deduce and critically analyse. The 'street' smart intelligence as it is commonly referred to. The Right Brain users. Without Dega, Papillon is but a prisoner that refuses to conform.

Save yourselves lost souls... Pursuit life and its infinite wonders, rather than the straight pubic hairs that you people possess...

Fuck im hungry.. fuck you all...

You know I'm Not Dead

2010-01-09T05:01:00.001-08:00

Now I have been laying dormant for far too long. 2 months without a blog post and a whole lot of angst to be blown away. Fuck the world we live in today. Richard Dawkins in his book the God Delusion states that religion is but the cause for most insolence, ignorance and apathy in the world we live in today. A very reputable statement, which I, as a Believer find not too audacious. After all, how many atheists do you see burning effigies of Religious Leaders.

'True peace is not merely the absence of tension, it is the presence of justice' - Martin Luther King Jr

The above statement was my facebook shout out, because where justice fails to prevail, vigilante justice comes in. Now caped crusaders and testosterone charged men wielding pitchforks may have gone out of fashion a long time ago. I have to admit a certain affinity for the 'Achilles Mexican Standoff'. Fuck armies or weapons. A real test of strength and wits lies in a battlefield. Mano-e-mano. No weapons, just plain guts, gore, wits.

Now lets evaluate the pros and cons of this seemingly barbaric form of settling arguments.
A fuckface starts a fight, in a club, calls on his group of goons and buttfucks a perfectly sane dude.
= a bunch of rats against a mongoose
With the standoff, its a fuckface starts a fight, gets his butt kicked in by a perfectly sane dude.
= a rat against a mongoose
too trivial? or too simplified
fucking rats are scum of the earth, constantly linked with disease and whatnot. A mongoose is an exotic animal known to be kept as pets by folks in India and Sub Saharan Africa to keep the fucking snakes at bay, lol what chance does a fucking rat have.

This is of course accepting that the perpetrator of the fight is a small slimy pipsqueak and the dude is a Charles Bronson incarnation.

Ah you idiot, the metaphor was not a physical but rather a mental one:) it takes a bigger man to not throw the first punch:)

Anyway I've been reading up loads of political blogs and I came to this one blog by a Dr. Mohd Ridhuan Tee Abdullah, Senior Lecturer, National Defence University Malaysia cum Secretary General of Islamic Chamber of Commerce Malaysia.

Sounds like a Bogus University no?

anyway, Seeing that he was a contributor to the most recycled magazine of all time 'Dewan Siswa' - that schools made us buy and like the very day I bought it, I tossed it into the recycling box after browsing faces of the sad people that wanted to be Penpals with random strangers. They made us read that crap for Literature. Fuck's sake, Literature is a form of critical appraisal where a reflection is made as to how a work of art has appealed to the reader. Not some cum fed into a mouth of a porn star force to swallow!

Digressing...Back to my point, so this guy Dr Ridhuan Tee, like got into an online battle of wits with Art Harun. Now let us not be biased in our views. But these are transcripts of articles i picked up from their blogs. Honestly, who'd you root for? And i'll come back to the rat vs Mongoose after this.

From Ridhuan T's blog - ertee.blogspot.com

Instead, we always argue to maintain what is not right. For example, what is so wrong if we practice cohabiting before marriage, as long as we believe we are responsible?

My concerned, how if after that, John Doe make a decision not to take responsibility or leave the girlfriend all of a sudden? Some merely manage to marry for 10 days and then divorce. Who will be victimized? Of course the woman. Therefore the rule of law will always protect the fate of the woman.

I have a few Chinese and Malay acquaintance who has made a blunder because of this sex before marriage. To make matter worst, the boyfriend just left. Now, what would happen with this unborn child?

Now to a bit from Art Harun. http://art-harun.blogspot.com/

The events which are unfolding in Malaysia are nothing short of Kafkaesque in nature.

In Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis, the chief protagonist, a salesman by the name of Gregor woke up one day only to find out that he had transformed into a giant insect. Lying down, he could see his many legs moving about in the air above him. Strangely, rather than wallowing in self pity and descending into a state of utter depression, Gregor's first reaction was "how am I going to get to work?"

A simple word of advice, pick your battles. Admit defeat to the more honourable sovereign victor. Even without reading the contents of their blogs, you kinda have a presumption that there is a clear victor, and there is a clear wannabe.
In the wise words of the unwise Shaun Micheals, ' Don't hunt what you can't kill'.

What do I know about wars? Well firstly, I am Punjabi by birth, the group of people Rahul describes to his batchmates as the True Spartans who were bred for battles. Punjabis have served many wars and by blood, that kinda makes me a veteran. Trust me when I say this, pick your battles.
Cos you don't wanna appear like an effing cunt. i love that statement, because I heard it being said aloud and I laughed. He felt the need to be discreet with the word fuck, but not the word cunt.
Ahh the world we live in today, Fucked we are as Yoda would say.

Shit, we must take. Idiots, we must accept. Morons, we must tolerate. Wanks, we must live with.

Happy new year folks. and if I did swear too much on this post, fuck me. Its my 2nd time typing this darn article. Damn battery died without autosave on the damn blog. Screw Blogspot.
Now a song for the new year, by the now defunct and crappy Smashing Pumpkins. God, grant us some good bands this year.
The everlasting gaze

You know I'm not dead
Now you know where I've been
As you sleep
Torn I am
Weighted down
Patiently
Born of love
You know I'm not dead
I'm just living in my head
Forever waiting
On the ways of your desire
You always find a way
And thru it all
Into us all you move
Forgotten touch
Forbidden thought
We can never have enough
You know I'm not dead
Found below
The creatures scream
Stranglehold
A god machine
Begging to
Tear us out
Worn as hope
You know I'm not dead I'm just the tears inside your head
Forever waiting
On the ways of your desire
You always find a way
And thru it all into us all you move
Forgotten touch
Forbidden thought
We can never have enough
You know I'm not dead

We all want to hold in the everlasting gaze
Enchanted in the rapture of his sentimental sway
But underneath the wheels lie the skulls of every c.o.g.
The fickle fascination of an everlasting God
You know I'm not dead
-and the damn chorus repeats again

A tribute to a visionary

2009-11-08T10:41:00.000-08:00

Baba Bulleh Shah, Sufi Poet was born Abdullah Shah in the 17th century in modern day Pakistan. His ancestors had migrated from Bukhara in modern Uzbekistan, in 1680. He was a Punjabi Sufi poet and a humanist. 'Sufi', directly translated means Purity. For those who'd like to learn more about the concept of Sufism, click here. To sum it up, the Great Sufi Poet as well as teacher of Baba Bulleh Shah, Hazrat Inayat Shah summed up the characteristics that makes someone a Sufi.
And this is what we read about Sufism today.

What is a Sufi?
One who does not separate himself from others by opinion or dogma;
and who realizes the heart as the Shrine of God.

What does the Sufi desire?
To remove the false self and discover God within.

What does the Sufi teach?
Happiness.

What does the Sufi seek?
Illumination.

What does the Sufi see?
Harmony.

What does the Sufi give?
Love to all created things.

What does the Sufi get?
A greater power of love.

What does the Sufi find?
GOD.

And lose?
self

Hazrat Inayat Khan

Like many scholars of his time, mystery shrouds the life and times of Bulleh Shah as well as the timelines concerning his life.

By now, everyone is wondering what makes Baba Bulleh Shah someone that I'd pay tribute to. He was a poet that envisioned peace and harmony among religions back in the 17th century. He wasn't a prophet, nor a religious scholar, but one who loved man and women of different castes and creeds alike. He arises from the generation of great poets such as the legendary Punjabi poet Waris Shah , who wrote the epic love story Heer Ranjha fame, and the famous Sindhi Sufi poet Abdul Wahad (1739 – 1829), better known by his pen-name, Sachal Sarmast (“truth seeking leader of the intoxicated ones”). Amongst Urdu poets, Bulleh Shah lived a mere 400 miles from Mir Taqi Mir (1723 – 1810) of Agra.

Recently my rock background crossed paths with the work of Baba Bulleh Shah, as Junoon, ( a Sufi Rock pioneering band) released a song entitled Bulleya based on a poem he had written more than 300 years back.

I have included translations - by myself sadly so if they aren't accurate I do apologize:)

Bulleya ki jaana main kaun
Bulleya, who knows who I am?

Na mei moman vich masetan
Neither I am a believer (who stays) in a mosque
Na main vich kufar di reetan
Nor do I indulge in actions of paganism
Na main pakan vich paleetan
Nor am I the pure one amongst the impure

Na main andar bed kitaban
Neither I exist in books of Vedh
Na main rehnda phaang sharaban
Nor do I stay drunk (intoxicated by Bhang... the original Ecstasy:))
Na main rehnda mast kharaban
Nor do I remain stoned/rotting/aimless

Na main shadi na ghamnaki
Neither I am happy nor sad
Na mei vich paletan pakeen
Nor am I in the (argument of) Purity and Impurity
Na main aaabi na main khaki
Neither I am (made) of water nor of earth

Na main aatish na main paun
Nor am I fire nor air

Na main arabi na lahori
Neither am I Arab nor Lahori(man from Lahore, the part of Punjab in Pakistan)
Na main hindi shehar Nagaori
Nor am I (resident of) the Indian City Nagaori
Na hindu na turk pashauri
Nor Hindu nor Turk Peshaweri

Na main bhet mazhab de paya
Neither I found the secret of religion
Na main aadam hawwa jaya
Nor am I like Adam and Eve
Na koi apna naam dharaya
Nor did I create a name for myself

Avval aakhar aap nu jana
From beginning to end, I tried to understand myself
Na koi dooja hor pacchana
I did not come to know of anyone else (or I could not recognize anyone else)
Mai ton na koi hor syana
I am not just another wise one (or conversely is there is none as wise as me)

Bulle shah kharha hai kaun
Bulle Shah, who is this standing?

Na main moosa na firaun
Neither I am Moses nor Pharoah
Na main jagan na vich saun
Neither I am awake nor asleep
Na main aatish na main paun
Neither I am fire nor Air
Na main rahnda vich Nadaun
Nor do I live among fools
Na main baitthan na vich bhaun
Neither I am sitting nor am I in a tornado (neither comfortable nor in trouble)

Now what the poem meant to me when I first heard it was about someone who is totally lost in the contexts of worldly matters. In many ways I personally find myself stuck in his shoes questioining my existence as a mere mortal on this vast planet that has had some of the greatest thinkers of our time. In a small way, the realization that for me to be anything, I had to know myself first, and that nobody else was supposed to know me better than myself, was amazingly empowering. It was no declaration of independence of a confused teenager, but it did sound a call of freedom for me. It was an internalization of the belief that I was a citizen of the world; that I did not deserve to be judged or judge anyone else with lenses that are often too simplistic, or more often than not prejudiced. I've reached a point in life where I seek not alliances but rather acceptence for who I am is not a mere mortal with the capabilities to think, but also one who feels. I recall an incident here in Edinburgh, when someone (not mentioning whom) an aspiring medical student with a distinct aptitude and enthusiasm that is quite remarkable. Book smart he is, I kid you not. While taking a pulse of a frail old lady, he is unable to find it and says it aloud. Now, he attempts to search for her pulse again and in his zeal, he leaves 3 nail impressions on her brittle skin. Now this sweet old lady just smiles. I stop by to apologize to her after the zealous attempt of my peer, and she smiles saying it is all forgiven. But it begs me to question the actions of my fellow peer. Have we been so out of touch with humanity that patients serve as mere tools for us to practice our limited knowledge on? I'd fear for a frail old lady with a weak carotid pulse and asthma if this guy was to examine her for obvious reasons.

But who am I to say anything:) after all I am neither Moses nor a Pharoah:)

Baba Bulleh Shah's Next masterpiece is adapted from a Pakistani Movie, Khuda Ke Liye, dare i mention probably the greatest Pakistani movie to date. . Bulleh Shah studied Arabic, Persian and the Quran under traditional teachers. Armed with basic knowledge of religion, he seeked a 'higher' plane of understanding his teachings. Ultimately he found his murshid, in the form of Inayat Shah Qadri. Inayat Shah Qadri (or Shah Inayat, as he is referred to in Bulleh Shah’s poetry) was a Sufi of the Qadri order, who authored many Persian books on mysticism. He was from the Arian cast and grew vegetables to earn a living, whereas Bulleh Shah was of the much higher Syed caste - Descendent of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
Yet, in defiance of tradition, Bulleh Shah accepted Shah Inayat as his spiritual master, and subordinated his life to his lower-caste murshid. Much of Bulleh Shah’s verses about love are addressed directly to his spiritual guide, Shah Inayat.

Bullay Noun Samjhawan Ayaan
Bhenaan Tay Bherjaayaan
(Bullay’s sisters and sisters-in-law came to advise him)
Man Lay Bullaya Sada Kaina
Chad Day Pala Araiyaan
(“Listen to us and stop associating yourself with this man of the
Araain community”)- in reference to Inayat Shah
Aal Nabi Ulad Nabi Noun
Tu Kyoun Leeka Layaan
(“Why do you insult our tribe the descendants of the Prophet Mohammed”)
Jera Saanoun Syed Saday
Dozakh Milay Sazaiyaan
(Bullay replies: Those that call me a Syed (the tribe of the descendants of the Prophet) will be punished in Hell)
Indicating that he’d rather denounce his tribe than denounce the his spiritual guide

Bandeya ho, Bandeya
(oh mankind - in a pleading manner)

Araain Saain Sabi Thaain
(People of Araain and Saain clans are everywhere)
Rab Deeyaan Bay Perwaayaan
(God doesn’t care (about placing them together in this world))
Soniya Paray Hatayaan tay
Khoojiyaan Nay Gal Layaan
(Those that are beautiful (in heart and soul) do not find such differences (in castes), only ugly people do)

Jay Tu Looray Baagh Baharaan

Chakar Ho Ja Araiyaan
(If you desire paradise in the afterlife, become a servant of the Araiyan) -Indicating ‘serve the poor and downtrodden, if you seek heaven’)

Bullay Shah De Zaat Ke Puchni
Shakar Ho ya Razayaan
(Instead ask not what caste Bullay Shah comes from)

Bandeya ho, Bandeya

Intellectual nourishment?
adapted from
nothinginaminor.blogspot.com/2008/07/bandeya-ho.html

Despite being very critical of religion, Bulleh Shah does not denounce religion as a whole but rather can be called a critic of all persons in authority - including intellectuals, academicians and jurists - who create obstacles and needless complexities for common people in discovering love, and through love, discovering God.

Bulleh Shah preaches a uncomplicated conception of humanity, as the common connection through which persons of all faiths, creeds and opinions can attain a superior and more pure existence, eventually coming closer to God, as preached by his Sufi teacher, Inayat Shah.

Bulleh Shah’s writings represent him as a humanist, someone providing solutions to the sociological problems of the world around him as he lives through it, describing the turbulence his motherland of Punjab is passing through, while concurrently searching for God. His poetry highlights his mystical spiritual voyage through the four stages of Sufism:

Shariat (Path)

Tariqat (Observance)

Haqiqat (Truth)

Marfat (Union)

The simplicity with which Bulleh Shah has been able to address the complex fundamental issues of life and humanity is a large part of his appeal.

Bulleh Shah’s popularity stretches uniformly across Hindus, Sikhs and Muslims, to the point that much of the written material about this Muslim thinker is from Hindu and Sikh authors.

One particular song that does use some verses from Baba Bulleh Shah's Poetry is Chaiya Chaiya. I recall singing this song as the dance troupe that I recently joined were about to perform and were getting nervy in the room. If only they knew the beauty that hid behind the lyrics written by one of the greatest visionaries of his time.

Jin Ke Sar ho Ishq ki chann (He whose head is in the shadow of love)

Pao ke niche jannat hogi (Heaven will arise beneath his feet)

Jin Ke Sar ho Ishq ki chann

Chal Chaiyya ( Walk in this shadow)

Pao Jannat chale chal chaiyan (walk in heaven, in this shadow)

Woh yaar hai jo kushboo ki tarah (That friend of mine who smells so fragrant)

Jis ki Zubaan Urdu Ki tarah (Whose tongue is like Urdu) - implying whose words are poetic (*Urdu is a very poetic language)

Meri sham raat meri kyanaat (who is my dusk and night, my existence)

Woh yaar mera saiya saiyaa (That friend is my beloved)

Gulphosh Kabhi Itraain kahii ( sometimes (my beloved) teases me (flirts) like a flower)

Mehkay to nazar aa jaye kahi (so fragrantly that you can visualise her scent)

Taawiz banake pahanun oose (having made it into a 'Taawiz'(charm), I shall wear it)

Aayat ki tarah mil jaye kahin (I shall receive her as i would a miracle)

Mera Nagma woh hi, Mera Kalma woh hi (she is my song, she is my Kalma (Muslim declaration of faith)

Woh yaar Hai jo Imam ki tarah (my friend who resembles a priest)

Mera nagma nagma, mera kalma kalma (my song my song, my declaration of faith x2)

Yaar Misaleh os chale (she moves like dew drops

Pao ki talle firdaus chale (she walks with the garden of heaven beneath her feet)

Kabhi daal dall, Kabhi paat paat (Sometimes thru the branches sometimes the leaves)

Main hawa pe dhoon dhoon us ke nishaan (I shall search the air/wind for her symbol/trail)

Main Uske Roop ka Saudaari ( I am a trader of her beauty)

Woh Dhoop chann hon sahar jayee ( She effortlessly flits from sunlight to shadows)

Woh Shokh rang badalta hai ( She changes her ever so bright colours)

Main rang roop ka saudari ( I am a trader in colours as well as beauty)

I end my blog post here today, by paying tribute to Baba Bulleh Shah, the true Sufi.

"freedom from pain, suffering and the external world"

2009-10-16T18:47:00.002-07:00

Nirvana - a concept of being free from pain and suffering from the external world
Some may say that is salvation, an abodement of everlasting bliss.

Nibbāna is a Pali word that means "blowing out" — that is, blowing out the fires of greed, hatred, and delusion

I was walking past a shop in the Royal Mile that was selling countless rock and metal memoribillia and hence I decided to pop in and the first poster I browsed at was one of King Kurt clutching his Fender Strat in an amber background.

I recalled the death of the legendary Godfather of Grunge. A form of music that was so appealing in the 90s with bands like Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam and Nirvana bursting onto the mainstream. 'Jeremy', 'No Excuses', 'Would', 'Yellow Ledbetter', 'Last Kiss', and the countless Nirvana anthems were played on a daily basis on my humble AKAI radio on 90.3 fm (Radio 4 those days). Kurt Cobain was at a tender young age of 27, the same age Jimi Hendrix passed on mind you. A suicide note accompanied his final attempt at suicide. (which kinda meant he succeeded this time).

The note read "I haven't felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music, along with really writing . . . for too many years now".
For some, the death came as a shock. To conspiracy theorists, this was the work of Courtney Love. But one cannot help admit there was a developing pattern to how the outcome was reached.

For the armchair critics who would not bother reading up 'Heavier Than Heaven: A Biography of Kurt Cobain', take my word for it, he had a rough childhood, constantly rebelling although shy inside. A divorce at the age of 8, living with a family of Born-Agains till he was 13, and finally accepting Buddhism and Jainism into his life - to attain the state of Nirvana late into his teens.

To the more medically astute, Kurt had Scoliosis and an unexplained chronic stomach pain (which doctors back then could not diagnose, but suspected to be Curling's Ulcers as he claimed to be terribly stressed out most of the time). He also had Chronic Bronchitis - which could've been percipitated by his Scoliosis as well. His encounters with heroin helped in pain management for his Ulcers, so much so that in one instance, he shot up Heroin 3 days in a row and lamented that for once, he was actually free of pain.

Like every rebel, he had championed the rights of the underdogs. In his instance, gays. Growing up in a place called Aberdeen in Washington, Homophobia was rampant and gay-bashing would be a norm. Kurt would come to the aid of gays to the extent of being called a bisexual himself. He'd spray paint signs like ' God is Gay' and others as a form of defiance to the ultras. This protective bravado-ism gave him a sense of superiorty and an exhiliration to constantly fight a cause that was greater than his own. It was this acceptance of Grunge later on in the 90s and the constant media attention on his personal deteriorating relationship with Courtney that finally nailed his coffin, and placed his legacy in the thrones of Valhalla as one of the best musicians to ever roam the planet.

This suicide attempt however was not his first. Courtney explained that he had a few attempts before as well.

Cobain's heroin addiction worsened as the years progressed. Cobain first attempted rehabilitation in early 1992, not long after he and Love discovered they were going to become parents. Immediately after leaving rehab, Nirvana embarked on their Australian tour, with Cobain appearing pale and gaunt while suffering through withdrawals, and his heroin abuse continued soon after.

Prior to a performance in New York in July 1993, Cobain OD'ed on heroin. Rather than calling for an ambulance, Love injected Cobain with Naloxone (that she acquired illegally) to bring him out of his unconscious state. Cobain proceeded to perform with Nirvana, giving the public no indication that anything out of the ordinary had taken place.

His attempts at suicide became apparent in 1994 when he OD'ed on champagne and Rohypnol ( a popular date rape drug). For the med students reading this, it is a benzodiazepine, a more potent version of Valium (Diazepam), and it sedates in 10-20 mins after a 1mg pill. Kurt passed out and was rushed to the hospital and spent 5 days there. 2 weeks later he had locked himself in a room with several guns and pills to 'hide from Love'. The authorities did get there in time to confiscate his weapons and pills.
Love later scheduled him for Detox and the medics failed to address his previous issues with depression. He was released and cleared to perform in Seattle. It was at this point he disappeared and was never found until one fatal morning, an electrician found Kurt with a shotgun pointed at his chin and blood clots around his ears. He had died 3 days before that on April 5th 1994. High concentrations of Valium and Heroin were found in his stream. His last song for Nirvana was recorded on January 30th 1994. Some called it Kurt's Song.

The references to suicide are quite chilling if you do read the lyrics, empowered by the short introduction above.
ps : note that Courtney Love plays a big part in this song:)

You know you're right by Cobain

I will never bother you
I will never promise too
I will never follow you
I will never bother you

Never say a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to feel
Pain!!!
Pain!!!
Pain!!!

You know you're right
You know you're right
You know you're right

I'm so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Lets talk about someone else
Steaming soup against her mouth
Nothing really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won't be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it'd come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never failed to feel

Pain!!!
Pain!!!
Pain!!!
Pain!!!
Pain!!!

You know you're right (x14)
You know your right (x3)
Pain...

For those who have never ever heard this song, Google it up and it'll be all over youtube. It has the most spinechilling scream ever. The best gut yell ever to accompany a song.

I bid you adieu King Kurt.

What it takes to be a Man.

2009-09-06T09:32:00.001-07:00

The hollow winds that blow as a train passes by you at the train station has no scent.
A voyage of soul searching and taking heed of the less capricious things in life has started. I refrained from blogging recently in fear of my emotions taking me by the scruff of my neck, choosing to apply the tunnel vision, focusing on one thing and making everything else secondary. As a 15 year old however, Jonathan and myself coined tunnel vision as the perfect cleavage down a lady's top.

What it takes to be a man, an odd title. Before I start, I'd love to thank those who have sent me encouraging personal messages and comments on my other works.

Recently I have been getting into witty battles with a real life psychologist. Why? I guess to fill some voids in life. Allow me to explain the essentials for being a man. Logic is something we choose to apply on others but not ourselves. If you need to change a bulb, a man would tip toe on a chair and add books below it, rather than get a ladder as he'll have to put the ladder back. It is male logic. Don't question it. However the same logic does not apply in this next scenario. As a guy, there will be NO BETTER MOMENT IN YOUR LIFE than that FIGHT SCENE AT THE FOREST FOR TRANSFORMERS 2. And I shall be bold enough to say, if you disagree, you're either a left hander/queer/gay/a shithole picker or a lady:) Because thats just the way it is. Don't ask for a logical explanation here. There may be a better more enthralling moment soon, but till today, I stand corrected if someone says Optimus Prime vs 3 Decepticons is not the most telling moment in their lives, I'd kick you in the nuts just to see if it hurts.

Another Primary ingredient in man. Food. It is a guy thing, that going out with your friends will make you a whole lot more hungrier, and no matter how rich you are, it is generally a must to bust that belt for a buffet. And at this point if someone says he's on a diet and his gym instructor or crap needs him to cut down, you have all the right in the world to smack him. It is an absolute must to stuff yourself, UNLESS you are trying to fake your way to a lady. Then the ball game is changed. But if you are with a group of friends, guys (with a few girls who're not likely to appear in song sequences in your dreams), it is an absolute must to get stuffed on a buffet.
When eating seafood, to a guy, there is no greater epitome of manhood than being able to devour what seems like a well eaten fish. If the fish head and tail are in tact, the alpha male has to dig behind its gills and inform the rest of the table that the best meat is located there and devour it until justice has been done. IF it is a crab, you are supposed to chew every square inch of the legs to ensure no meat is left behind. If it is a chicken, it is a must to suck on some marrow.

Now we come to the bitching. No matter what happens, no matter how wrong your friend is, you are supposed to throw a punch when he is attacked in a club. And anyone who fails to comply by this rule is deemed a failure to the law. If you are hit in a club and you are surrounded by others, you must at least throw a punch back. As a man it is better to have gone down getting your arse kicked by 5 others rather than take a slap and keep quiet. If someone initiates a slap, talking your way out of things is considered a lost and therefore does not make you a man. Who made these laws, I honestly dont know but women and softies as well as other men who do not know these rules take note.

When going out with friends, even if you are not drinking, you are obliged to buy a round if everyone else has. The one who does not drink from the group has to at least take a coke. No one is too full for a glass. And allergies are about the STUPIDEST most RIDICULOUS excuses ever. A real man will get get angioedema and hay fever but no way in hell blame turn a peanut down.
You are required to put up a fight to pay the bill. In the event that you sit it out, you might as well get yourself castrated.

Remembering one stupid thing you did in life that you should regret but are proud to talk about is another key factor into being a man. Be it singing a love song to a pregnant teacher, or being a drag queen, if you have not had an embarrassing moment that you are proud of in life, you have failed to meet a key requirement.

You are also expected to know that the way to fix ANYTHING is by bonking it hard on the top. Works with women who're kneeling as well:). but yes a hard Bonk is the absolute first aid for anything that isnt working efficiently.

Women are to be given their due respect when they are either related to you by friendship or marriage or blood. In the event you are admiring a beautiful stranger, she is but a lifeless doll just meant to be ogled at. In the event you walk up to her being overly sensitive about a very trivial matter such as the colour of her dress, you fall into the queer category.

As a man you are expected to peel scabs on your knees when you are free. You are expected to be more pragmatic and practical rather than stylish. Your choice of clothes on the normal day should not take more than 2 seconds, being the top shirt in your wardrobe or whats hanging on the towel rack. In the event you have changed your attire for reasons other than a dresscode requirement or issues with sizes and comfort, you are in deed a sissy, No 2 ways about it.

To women reading this article, this article is not meant for you to understand. It is a mission statement real men pledge to every day of their lives. It is a mantra we chant. In the event you find it hard to understand it, you have just walked a moment in our lives regarding issues such as PMS, the need to keep bitchy friends and other trivial feminine matters. WE HAVE A HARD TIME reasoning them out, so please dont attempt to reason us out:)

A Time To Kill

2009-08-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

Blitzkrieg - German for 'lightning war' literally.

A famous war tactic deployed by ze Germans to invade the Netherlands, Belgium and the French in 1940 which sparked the last real war that shall remain the greatest highlight/blemish whichever way you look at it of our era. Most WWII survivors will tell you torrid tales of how it was like a chess game, where once your piece was taken, it meant your ass. No such crap as the Guantanamo detention and such where they just lock you up, make you listen to heavy metal (which some deem torturous) and pee on you and shit. WWII survivors lost limbs, eyes, suffered from COPD. Dignity was but a luxury back then. Cannibalism and all other tactics were implemented to ensure survival. And the one i chose to rant about today would be the most effective in my humble opinion, the Blitzkrieg. Its fundamental rule is that any disorganized army is a weak army.

As my blog is entitled Sic Vis Pacem Parebellum- if you want peace, prepare for war - meaning vigilance at all times, Blitzkrieg is the exact antithesis/anecdote for it. It is a form of sabotage to put your enemy off balance. To explain it in lay men terms is to be a trapeze artist and grease the pole for your next competitor so he/she slips and the act is ruined. Herodatus once said King Leonidas didn't allow Ephialtes of Trachis to take part in defending Sparta from Xerxes and his army as Ephialtes was handicapped and his deformity caused a disarray in their formation which was their strength. The Americans were in disarray in Vietnam, falling to a series of guerilla attacks by rag tag soldiers and hence encountered huge losses and casualties. The principle of Blitzkrieg is simple, a well prepared army will win a battle if they carry the battle out as planned. Screw the plan up for them, and they will screw the battle.

The Germans created psychological shock and resultant disorganization in enemy forces through the employment of surprise, speed, and superiority in matériel or firepower. Tested by the Germans against Poland in 1939, the blitzkrieg proved to be a formidable combination of land and air action. The essence of blitzkrieg is the use of mobility, shock, and locally concentrated firepower in a skillfully coordinated attack to paralyze an adversary’s capacity to coordinate his own defenses, rather than attempting to physically overcome them, and then to exploit this paralysis by penetrating to his rear areas and disrupting his whole system of communications and administration. The tactics, as employed by the Germans, consisted of a splitting thrust on a narrow front by combat groups using tanks, dive-bombers, and motorized artillery to disrupt the main enemy battle position at the point of attack. Wide sweeps by armoured vehicles followed, creating large pockets of trapped and immobilized enemy forces. These tactics were remarkably economical of both lives and resources, primarily for the attackers but also, because of the speed and short duration of the campaign, among the victims.

A blitzkreig gone bad however is Pearl Harbour for example. A counteroffensive (counter blitzkrieg) was mounted very soon after and Hiroshima and Nagasaki were mere historical cities that disappeared from the geographical contexts.

Now my point in bringing up the issue. I recently had a friend who endured a rough break up. The other party, used the blitzkrieg to her advantage as she thought. She had him spellbound like a remote controlled Nikko Mobile. And as much as we tried to turn him back into a Tamiya (free spirited; moves with the track) he found it hard to balance both parts. So in order to hit back at him, she branded us the villains. Ah yes, love is blind. By making 2 others scapegoats in the affair, she sucked him dry of his time and resources causing him great strain on his physique as well as mental wellbeing. A man deprived of personal time. Seemingly a wild carefree person, she had all of us smiling away giving a thumbs up, only to find out she was in truth, the combination of every vice that makes up the show on TV we call Desperate Housewives. Insecure, Overbearing, Untrustworthy, Untrusting, Ill mannered, Lacking integrity, and Manipulative Spiteful Woman (synonymous with the female form of a canine)

Now how did she carry out the plan, absolute perfection. One friend, lets call him James Bond, approached my friend the victim(Mr Orange) to this knieving person (Mrs Absynthia) and informed him that she is taking control of his life. We were planning a trip back to nature in a place where serenity and oneness with nature was but for the tourists. And Kolo Mee, Cheng, Kueh Chap, Heineken, Pork Leg Rice and Laksa Sarawak would be the staple diet for the next few days. Ok i mentioned it Sarawak:).

Now being a chance of a lifetime - to a certain degree of exaggeration - one would expect Mr Orange to jump at the occasion but he was bounded by an apparent backache that affected Absynthia. It should be pointed that Backaches are the most common cause of absenteeism among blue collar workers as well as the most vague sign of illness. In other words, you wanna get an MC from a doc, go with a backache. He'll never be able to prove you wrong. So we kinda knew this was a hoax. She had laid the bait. A week later, Mr Orange gets a whiff that Mrs Absynthia has given up on Mr Orange, as they feel they dont taste good together. So in order to make the whole disengagement seem as amiable as possible, she decides to mess up James Bond's rep. She undoes his bow tie and paints him as a guilty conscience - in that miniature devil on your shoulder mold. So knieving is this person, she demands for a few items which had been entrusted to Mr Orange. And to make the exchange, she required the assistance of Bond, and an old ally, The Prince - Niccolo Machiavelli. Now the Prince realizes he is in the middle of the black and white chessboard and decides to take a cut of the offerings which she duly obliged giving the impression that she was truly sincere in the whole deal. Mr Orange on the other hand knows nothing of the deal and quickly hands over the offerings. James Bond on the other hand realizes the prince is taking a cut and asks for his share. The Prince being a man of principle chooses the item of lesser value to be taxed. They agree upon it and they leave with a light heart. The next day the prince meets Absynthia and returns her offerings after taking his cut and she firmly agrees to it. Now at this point everyone in the deal is happy except Mr Orange who is still mourning a sincere loss.

A bombshell is dropped when Absynthia makes a public statement about Bond and the prince as she claims they are senseless thieves that robbed her of her offerings and made them scapegoats for why the split from Mr Orange is inevitable. True enough she places him in a very difficult position and attempts to drive a wedge in the whole ordeal. Mr Orange to my understanding takes a neutral stand in this and she tries hard to send a phoney SOS with a wavering tale of deceit and disappointment at the confiscated offering. She claims it had sentimental value and reminded her of a City she visited and all the memories were stored in that 75 cl potion. She then rephrases and says that a village elder needed the potion to help in a bonding ceremony that cannot take place without it.

The prince on the other hand is oblivious and so attempts to question her motives and is dumbfounded by the whole debacle. When confronted he attempts to extend a hand to apologize but judging by the outburst, he has forged an alliance with Mr Bond. Now what happens in this tale depends on whether there is a counterstrike ala Pearl Harbour or another successful blitzkrieg.

To those who are lost at this point, Absynthia turned herself a victim from a predator, in order to gain the attention of the mass public that seems to be fluttering to her side as she is but a grieving widow - or so she feels - and thus branding the allegiance against her as the four horsemen of the Apocalypse (Conquest, War, Famine, Death), not realizing there are 2 of us, and Macchiavelli the prince once said “War is just when it is necessary; arms are permissible when there is no hope except in arms.....War should be the only study of a prince. He should consider peace only as a breathing-time, which gives him leisure to contrive, and furnishes as ability to execute, military plans.'

Little does she know that The Prince by Machiavelli is the most divine book of political philosophy to roam the lands today while the Nazis and their blitzkrieg tactics are buried along with the Bismarck at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.

Now all we need is a song to suite the tone of this war:)

The Eye Opener.

2009-07-25T10:57:00.001-07:00

Its been awhile since I last blogged. As I've told some, I lacked inspiration. My life was routine, mundane, with few moments that really required attention. While the events at the Rainforest World Music Festival were memorable, I've pretty much continued to lifelessly in deep thought.
I've recently been going to the Gurudwara (Sikh Temple) a lot as a very auspicious celebration, the anniversary of the birth of the 7th Guru.

During a sermon, the speaker spoke of a person called Principal Gangga Singh from some school in Mumbai. He related a story to us.
"In Mumbai, to cross the river, rafts were used. Hence at the river bank, it is common to see boatmen waiting to transport people across. One day, at dusk, a boatman anchored his raft to the jetty. He left soon after as it was the end of a long day's work. After he left 7 men arrived at the river bank after a session of binge drinking. As it was already dusk, there were no boatmen on duty at that moment. They saw the raft lying at the jetty and hopped on after a brief discussion as they concluded how hard could it be, seeing that the oars were there, and having 7 men, they could easily tick turns to paddle to the other side. And so they began paddling and paddling, really vigorously and continuously did so until the sun rose. Dawn had arrived and they had sobered up a little. They later realised that they had paddled continously but hadn't moved an inch. How was this possible? asked one of them. The later realised that the raft was still tied to the jetty and so it didn't budge. "
On hearing this a few laughs were heard. Principal Gangga then asked, what is the moral of this story?
There was no answer and so the principal answered himself.
"There are some of us who're always studying, but never do well. there are others who barely glance the books and end up scoring. It all depends on who you are. The one who sees the anchor, or the one who sees the oar. The one who sees the oar gets to work, without ever realising whats holding him back. The one who sees the anchor lets go of it and at times can even follow the currents and will get to his destination. Don't ever underestimate those who don't work hard, always look at a broader perspective, analyze your shortcomings and reduce the occurance of mistakes by simple deductive knowledge and critical thinking. He concluded by telling his class to not bother taking down notes, rather told them to take note of what was going on.

The speaker then said, another moral of the story was, religion.
One needs to understand the difference between being spiritual in religion or being active in religion.
One who's active need not be spiritual and vice versa.

An example i would provide you of an active person would be one who goes to the place of worship everyday, an evangelist who preaches religion, and one who has vast knowledge about religion. I personally fall in this category somewhat. We are the paddlers.

A spiritual person is one who need not be active, but lives by religion. Practices his faith in his life. An example would be obeying the Sabbath on Sundays in the Christian Faith.

Gandhi once said, "If all Christians acted like Christ, the whole world would be Christian."
I apologize to those of the Christian faith who find my example offensive but it was I feel the most easily understood example. Majority of us who claim to be religious, would fall in the active category. Constantly performing duties in the name of religion, while commiting numerous sins along the way. In the Sikh Temple, food is commonly served after a sermon. An example of one who commits sins while performing duties in the name of religion would be one who serves food, but gets into an argument with someone who doesn't queue up to collect the food. Another example is one who'd cook the food, but later scold another person for adding too much salt to it. It does seem so superficial, but in actual truth, we lack the moral values that are supposed to be instilled by religion while commiting religious service. Gandhi's statement reminded me of a friend of mine, a Protestant, who once wore a band saying WWJD, "What Would Jesus Do" and he claimed it helped him think twice about doing something as he'd rethink his intentions and actions.

He ended the sermon saying you need to remember that everyone on earth who aren't atheists (excluding agnosts) are of one Dharm (Path of Righteousness) - Of one belief, believe in a superior energy/being/Lord. We are only different by ways of religion. He then told us a story of a prince who bought an elephant. He then asked 4 blind men to examine the elephant to describe what an elephant looked like. One man holding the tusks felt the elephant was smooth and curved, another holding an ear said it was rough and full of wrinkles, another who held the tail said its bushy, hairy and long, and finally one who held a leg said its short stubby and hard. This led to an argument in which everyone claimed the other was wrong.

And although all of them were describing the same object, they gave many separate descriptions and argued. The prince later smiled. Each blind man represented a religion, and the elephant represented God. And although our object of admiration was the same, our perspectives differed as we cannot see Him although He is often felt. And this difference alone divides the world and has been the reason for most of the wars on earth taking place.

Another sermon I heard not too long ago claimed religions were like containers. As the Supreme Being rained every container was filled. In essence the rain water is the same, but it took on a new shape in their containers. Some of the water didn't land in containers (agnosts). And so one does not need to have a container (religion) to get wet (spiritual). But having a container eases the collection of the water (understanding of the Primal Being). We have different containers. We all aim to get wet. Some of us chose not to have containers. He concluded by saying in essence we're like rivers that take different routes but aim to flow along one path to the sea(Lord). some rivers are thicker (Religions with more followers) and some are thinner ( less followers) but the aim of every river is to flow into the sea (be united with our Maker).

I once shared this tale with a someone. And today I share it with everyone. I apologize if I sounded like I was propogating a religion, because my intentions were to create an awareness of how similar we are, amidst our subtle differences. It was in school when religious talks were something I'd avoid as it became a 'Mine is better than yours' argument.

Anyway, the Sunday School talk ends there. I wish to inform everyone who has my number to not message me without mentioning your name for my phone's LCD got spoilt and so I got a new phone but only 100 Numbers were saved into the SIM card. So I've lost quite a number of contacts. Please don't get offended if a message you send is replied with a who's this.

t

When a part of your life fades away completely..

2009-06-26T04:24:00.001-07:00

Born Micheal Joe Jackson, Died Wacko Jacko.

Micheal Jackson was is and always will be the only pop icon I would ever take my hat off to. As a 5 year old kid in kindergarden I once asked mum if i could keep my hair long like him, I found a fedora hat and covered my eyebrows with it, and stood for hours in front of the mirror powdering my face and pulling my fringe down to look like him. His phenomenal feet made dancing seem so easy and effortless. His loosely attached limbs made punctuation seem so natural and his spine chilling voice sent his emotions entwined in his lyrics down your cochlea as you stamped your feet each time you heard Billie Jean, Beat It, Smooth Criminal, Black or White.

Someone online today asked me if I had sold out on my metal agenda with my tribute to the legend, and I told him, music back then was different. If all of hiphop was like Run DMC i'd be a fan. If all of pop could emulate Micheal Jackson, I'd be a fan, if screamo rockers like Linkin Park could tone down and sound more like Iron Maiden I'd be a fan. Sadly music these days no longer share a similarity. He argued that I was practising double standards and I showed him my favourite MJ song ever, Give in to me - MJ feat Slash. It was during this video that a pyrotechnics malfunction causing 3rd degree burns on various parts of his body, explaining his infatutation with plastic surgery

MJ wrote this song in response to many that were calling him a Homo. Yes he was straight. He may have not lived with his wives, but he explains everything in his song.

He collaborated with Steve Stevens (Billy Idol guitarist) and Eddie Van Halen on Dirty Diana and Beat It respectively.

As I hit puberty I started understanding the pain and anguish behind most of his songs. Billie Jean was as we know today solely released as many women were claiming he had fathered their children. One particular woman alleged to have threatened to commit suicide if MJ didn't marry her inspired him to write this particular song. Thriller of course propelled him to stardom, but also brought more inner conflict as he was a Jehovah's Witness. And the depiction of ghouls and zombies was somewhat prohibited by the church he once attended. It was after this that Bad was released. Bad was the turning point of his career in my humble opinion. Thriller may have been his best selling album, but Bad was possibly the most personal one he wrote.

It was also around this time that his vitiligo had started acting up on his complexion and the sheer pressure from the media had ensured he underwent skin bleaching to match the tone of his hypopigmented skin patches. Rumours about his uncharacteristic behaviour shot to an all time great after the production of Thriller and it inspired a song called "leave me alone".

The video further vindicates his frustrations against the media and the general group of 'haters' as Katt Williams the comedian once called them. Allegations went as far as MJ wanting to buy the elephant man's skeletal remains. His hyperbaric chamber myth was another hot topic to reek further blemishes on his already tainted persona. It somehow didn't occur to them that he had 3rd degree burns and hyperbaric oxygen therapy does actually help recovery. I personally felt MJ's dad's domineering presence and abusive ways made him the timid boy who tried to relieve his childhood days again. Liz Taylor and Jane Fonda both provided testomonies to his childhood fantasies as he frequently loved buying toys-nope not those toys but real toys like hot wheels and shit- and he was so excited about a part he was once offered in Peter Pan the movie produced by Jane Fonda that never materialized.

I also vaguely remember the use of many stars that acted in Micheal Jacksons elaborate videos, such as Eddie Murphy, Paula Abdul, Dan Aykroyd, Vanessa Williams, David Copperfield, Danny Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, Sherman Helmsley- lol that dude from jeffersons- Quincy Jones, Don King, Olivia Newton John, Lou Diamond Phillips, Bridgette Nielson, Spielberg, Travolta, Jordan, Iman, Magic Johnson, that Home alone kid, Tyra Banks and many more. It was when i was about 14 that started convincing my friends about his songwriting abilities after further reading up his lyrics and amazingly 2 years later he was indicted into the hall of fame for songwriting.

Looking back at MJ, i can say his greatest contribution to music would probably be his meticulous and 3 pronged approach , setting a style and keeping to it, making an elaborate video that people will remember for life, writing songs with catchy tunes but hidden meanings that i felt really caught my attention. His daring attempts at spending millions on music videos did pay off as I've personally yet to see someone perfect the Moonwalk - nope Usher is a wanker -

Which reminds me I once had a game on my Sega Genesis back in 95 called Moonwalker based on themes from his dance videos. Round 1 was based on Smooth criminal, Round 2 on Beat it, Round 3 on Thriller and i never made it after that:) - you may download the game from here

http://www.games4win.com/games/michael-jacksons-moonwalker/

I guess a lot of us owe some part of our childhood to the great MJ for all he has contributed to music. To me his greatest feat was to be a renegade and try something no one else had attempted before. And in many ways he had succeeded. It is a sad tale though. A man who was made by the Media was later destroyed by the same medium. Scandals and treacherous cancer patients that never seem to die:) plagued him. He was estimated to be worth a few hundred million in 2003. Which is ironic seeing that Thriller alone sold almost 200 million copies - ensuring at least a billion dollars would be in his bank book. A series of payoffs to unscrupulous 'victims' who unceremoniously accepted 20 million dollar payouts after claiming molestation left me wondering what would've been if he had dragged some of them to court as he did with his final 2 that would later be ridiculed by Tom Mesereau (or something - cant spell his name for nuts man).

Sarah told me today, that at least he is at peace, and I do hope that at some point he does find tranquility amidst the chaotic life he lived. I for one, would never want to live his life today, although I once envied it. Looking back, MJ's death is a great loss to the music industy. Not since John Lennon has there been a talent so capable of invigorating so many emotions thru music. His contributions shall live on, and as Elton John addressed Diana, his candle may have blown out long before his legend ever will.

I overheard Napster on Traxx FM stating that there was once a rumour stating Justin Timberlake was the NEW King of Pop. First and foremost, JT is a wanker. He can cry a god damn ocean for all I care. The footsteps of MJ shall follow that of Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan and John Lennon, as the greatest minds of the past century in terms of music, that the world shall ever know.

To Micheal Jackson, I bid you adieu and I hope you find a world that has already been healed.

tabula rasa

2009-06-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

The social contract - a theory formulated by John Locke the great philosopher/socialist/enlighteners that shroomed from the era of Immanuel Kant and Jean Jacques Rosseau as well as Voltaire once said Tabula Rasa - meaning a blank slate, to signify the state of one's mind at birth. Clean, clear and capable of much molding.

I went to the bank today to bank in a few cheques and make some payments. I had double parked and left a note with my number on it so anyone who urgently needed me to move could contact me and does not have to honk like a barbarian for 20 minutes. Yes it happens ever so often and the worst type of driver would be the yuppie punkass Lala-fied Ah Beng who will stare at you as though its your fault. Ok lets hit the indians and the malays before the rest of you chinese people catch me for being a racist. Damn Indians will say sorry for no darn reason and malays will smile. Then again most Malays ride their motorbikes to banks or are Mak Ciks/Datins that are too afraid to double park so yeah. Anyway back to the bank, I was approached by a bunch of salesgirls from this company called Oosis. I had some time to spare and I am quite the gentleman:) i dont usually give someone the hand unless I really have no time. I usually push off sales people by saying no thank you:).

So one of them gives me a peel and win coupon promising me prizes so i play along and peel one and it says thank you. she says aiya... and tells me to try again so i did and the 2nd one says i won the grand prize, I become a shareholder in this company. Only 500 people in the country are selected for this she says. Then she calls all her friends and they all come and congratulate me. At this point my COMMON sense is smiling at me, damn this seems like a brilliant scam. So I play along. 4 outcomes for shareholders- 1 Vios + RM1800 monthly deposited into my account+Rm22000 in home appliances, and the 4th prize is a VIVA +RM600 deposited into my account +RM12000 worth of appliances. the rest are somewhere in between and I honestly can't recall as they took away all the evidence at the end. Anyway i was told that Oosis is a company that has does Direct Sales, (sorta like Amway and Cosway), Training for marketing staff, Home appliances -water filters and other health stuff that most Chinese people love, yeah the chinese, fear of drinking regular tap water and they wind up with the highest percentage of colon and eosophageal cancer. Sad as a bitch aint it. All my Chinese friends, learn to take a step back and not be so Kiasu, such go getters in life, it ain't good for your BP:)
So anyway, they stick this big mandarin newspaper article in my face in a valiant attempt to prove its not a scam

http://mykampung.sinchew.com.my/node/66629?tid=4

right, might as well speak to me in Hakka or something rite. They then showed me another article from Harian Metro. Now Harian Metro is similar to the Malay Mail or Kosmo, a sad version of a tabloid. So any credibility this so called well to do company had has dwindled by this moment. She then tells me there are 2 terms to me becoming the shareholder.
1. You kena ambik gambar masuk newspaper sama kita punya produk - Sounds feasible

2. You kena labur RM6,000 untuk proses.

She then says its not a scam and i should believe her and tells me to go to their office in Old Klang Road. She says there is a Royalty Certificate that guarantees payment for me, and even my grandchildren later on. Now thats marketing man. I know it sounds far fetched she says and she shows me some mathematical breakdown and says the company just needs 500 people to be shareholders and franchise holders so they can further diversify their company.

At this point she thinks she has won over my popping eyes. I forgot to tell her that I'm Indian and my eyes are naturally big and round:)
So yeah, i proceed to tell her that I am studying overseas and i dont have a local bank account. My parents have an account but they're at work and she's willing to follow me to my house to see them. So now i know that if i bring her home, mum's gonna slaughter me for wasting my time. So i tell her my house is in Klang and its far away. But i gave her an alternative solution. I told her I have Rm50 in my wallet. If she can give me RM200, we can set up an account at Public Bank under my name. I will be her proxy and if she pays the RM6,000, she can keep the monthly payment of RM1800 and the home appliances. I'll take the car. And I can sign an oath to not reveal our plan and not do anything to jeopardise her money in the account. She says its not possible and I ask her why not? I'm a law student --yeah cracking it up as usual-- told her of some bogus clause that says that we can open a joint account as friends and her name will not be mentioned in the venture and we can both make a profit off the company. She then says its against her company policy to which i say, no way, the company won't know.

She then realizes that she has just wasted her time and takes her pamplet back asking me to sign a clause stating I'm not interested telling me if I change my mind I can call her but offer ends this week. I promptly agreed. She said its free cash, why don't you want it. I told her cos I have loads already:). Now what she didn't know is that i sneak a pamphlet and boy you know i'm gonna post it up for everyone to browse. also her call card. and btw, i filled in a wrong IC number so i wouldnt be traced. I dont want shit junk mail in my mailbox man.

http://oasissuccess.com.my/

http://osbglobal.com/web/index.html

And to those of you who might think this is genuine, don't hesitate and please call her. she left her namecard with me. If you win some cash, don't forget to buy me a cup of coffee:) thats all I ask.

Also to girls, this is why we don't find Twillight that amusing:)

and this is why Transformers ROTF Freaking ROCKS!!!

Tempora mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis,

2009-06-12T10:21:00.000-07:00

"Times change, and we change with them"

I address you today not as the Machiavellian but rather as a non conformist. One who wishes that time would stop. One who preferred to be born in a different era, when the mind was free to roam, and our trains of thought were unique, and immaculate.

Here's a quote from James Morrison - no not that one, James 'Lizard King' Morrison aka Jim Morrison - of the Doors

'The Negroes in the forest brightly feathered
They are saying, "Forget the night.
Live with us in forests of azure.
Out here on the perimeter there are no stars
Out here we is stoned - immaculate."

Listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the heartache
I'll tell you 'bout the heartache and the lose of God
I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night
The meager food for souls forgot
I'll tell you 'bout the maiden with wrought iron soul

I'll tell you this
No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn '

In recent times, I have failed in my valiant attempts to forge an identity for the generation that I am present in. the 90s and the 00's. the 10's and 20's shall continue with dull repetitive routines as we look back in time at the 60's, 70's and 80's as defining moments in the history of mankind. The 60s brought on an era post WWII, where a well defined group of nations reigned supreme, an era when the Empires were dwindling away and the many leaders that would later become legends and fill up the many blank pages in World History fought for independence. They had with them the charisma, the vibrancy, the vigour, the exceptional wanting/need/lust to be in a group that thought along no preset rails. A group in which trains of thought were being laid out in front of them, refusing to conform to the routines of life. The discovery of recreational drugs - be it with a potential for abuse, was first initiated during these times. ENIAC- the world's first big ass computer was invented around this era. But this generation would best be remembered for being the pioneering batch of rock n roll. A form of music so different it led on to the 'immaculate' era of the 70s. We shall discuss that era in a moment.
The Beatles, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, The Animals, Jimi Hendrix, The Yardbirds, Cream, Johnny Cash, Dylan, Sly and the Family Stone, The Who, LED Zeppelin, Janis Joplin, Deep Purple, Santana, Sonny and Cher, and countless others acts revolutionized the music industry. An era so filled with creative brilliance- the Clint Eastwood series - A fistful of dollars, A few dollars more and The Good the Bad and The Ugly, were released. Psycho, to kill a mockingbird.

A generation of nonconformists were also protesting the Vietnam war across streets all over the world, a time when University students from Berkley and other prestigious institutions left their books aside and chose to take the it to the streets to make their views count. The era when worlds like socialism, communism and anarchy crept into gatherings of thousands of people wanting to break traditions and change the course of history. The greatest orator of all time, JFK was assassinated. The most compelling speech of all time "I Have A Dream" was uttered for its very first time by Martin Luther King, Che Guevara's allegience to Castro turned sour resulting in his death and his emasculation as the face of counterculture till this very day. The first Diva- Marilyn Monroe was at the prime of her day. Malcolm X and Charles Manson laid foundation stones in both their respective fields - Blaxploitation and Black nationalism as well as Sociopathic serial murders by the latter.
In an amazing end to the 70's Nixon was appointed President of the United States, Churchill passed on, Lennon Said - "Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I do not know what will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity...We're more popular than Jesus now" - which was to be his most damning statement as Mark Chapman cited that as the primary reason for ending his life. Yoko Ono tore the Beatles apart, England (finally after all that crappy history of theirs) won the world cup.

10 years back then seemed like such an eventful time, with so many great minds and fists - Frazier vs Ali. And yet all it took was a small nudge and break in the implanted mindset tailor-made by the authorities back then. An era when nonconformists detailed the beauty of uniqueness and the downside of ubiquity.
I had this conversation with a fellow medical student who brushed aside this topic saying that people then had 'nothing better to do'. And when I informed him Che Guevara was a fellow medical student as well, he was stunned.

I know some are licking their lips uttering the phrase conspiracy theorist but i finally think 'they' have won. The same 'they' Steven Hyde refers to, those that determine culture. those that oppose counterculture, the oppressors of free spirit. be it the government, politicians, music industry, religious ministers and health professionals have influenced us to such an extent we think it is forbidden to repeat the events of the 60s for fear of death. We are merely ants in a glass container. ( for the health professionals bit- how many of you out there eat multivitamins just because companies market them as essential without knowing that an average meal contains sufficient enough of nutrients to support daily life). CHomping down placebo like multivites and purchasing patented drugs like panadol instead of plain PCM (paracetamol) have become issues so unnoticed that we commit these actions without realizing how much our thoughts have been influenced by culture.

As for myself, I am wondering if I was born in an era where history was only meant to be studied and not made. the pointless wars like the iraq and afganistan wars are proof of bullying by big brother and hoodwinking by those who deem to be the frontiersmen in Intelligence. Sleep well tonight o' fellow readers. Shall you wake up tomorrow realising even your sleep cycle is not in your control anymore, as we sacrifice more and more for less and less. We sleep less and work harder - to 'improve quality of our life' by working to the brink of exhaustion. Quality indeed. We currently live in a generation when monetary gains shall never suffice, and the timid obscure members of society are abundant.

World's Most Pointless Argument

2009-04-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

This is the world's most pointless argument. For those who don't know, I am a Chelsea fan. My infatuation with Chelsea came after a root from the mother of all teams, Ruud Gullit from AC Milan moved to Chelsea. I'm a firm believer that English Football can never emulate the quality and tactical prowess of Italian football. Everything said and done, the only thing the EPL has over the other leagues is the spending power of a rich brat. When was the last you heard of a Maldini or a Baggio coming out of the Premier league? We have a new clown called Ronaldo, who's in every way a wannabe- like many recent Chelsea supporters - who'll probably move over to support ManCity or ManUtd soon enough.

But I admit defeat this season, but not to Man Utd. Liverpool is an amazing football club etched with a colourful history and having been the town of the birthplace of rock and roll ala the beatles, it serves as an abode for culture. Unlike the Manc's who're wank's - yes i said it, i dare you to sue me:), Liverpool is a club that has thrived in the recent years to become one that plays fast flowing free football without the tyranny of Ferguson at its helm. Yes, I SAID IT. Ferguson I believe intimidates referees and has a hand in the FA. Much of my respect for Liverpool this season is due to Benitez's recent rant at him.

So to all the Liverpool supporters, you will never walk alone, because for this season, i support you guys to take the title away from the arms of tyranny and all that is evil. The original reds should be the rightful contenders and not some cheap club called the red devils that is like the inter Milan of the city, the 2nd club in Manchester:) Deny this o' wise anthony.

anyway, to all the MU supporters- this is why we hate you so much:) This is a battle of wits with sanjeet representing the Anti- MU brigade and anthony representing MU.

Rafa Benitez

“During the Respect campaign Mr Ferguson was charged by the FA with improper conduct after comments made against Martin Atkinson [the referee] and Keith Hackett [the general manager of Professional Game Match Officials Limited],” he said. “He was not punished. He is the only manager in the league that cannot be punished for these things.

“Then he was talking about the fixtures [complaining that the schedule is unfair to United]. Two years ago we were playing a lot of early kick-offs away on Saturdays when United were playing on Sundays. And we didn’t say anything. Now he is complaining that everybody is against United.”

He added, sarcastically, that one option would be that “Mr Ferguson organises the fixtures in his office and sends it to us and everyone will know and cannot complain. We need to know that I am talking about facts, not my impression,” Benítez replied. “There are things that everyone can see.”

anthony says:

dei

i dont get ur statement on facebook

whos walkin alone?

liverpool?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol

liverpool never walks alone

anthony says:

lool

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

thats their saying = we

MU is always alone everyone who isnt an MU fan hates MU

anthony says:

hahaha

but u gota hand it to thm

5 goals in one half

wtf man

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

im handing nothing to them

they would've scored none had it not been for the penalty

anthony says:

no la

it was comin

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

nope

anthony says:

the score was 2-0

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

MU were riding their luck

anthony says:

2-1

so wat

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

they got a penalty

then tottenham went into disarray

anthony says:

totenham could have hold on to tht

come on

its not like they lost the lead

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

nope....not when you get a freak penalty given

anthony says:

their lead was jst cut shot

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

remember fergie when liverpool thumped them????

he kept looking at the clock , blamed every foul everything

anthony says:

dei if Mu won by jst scoring tht penalty

il keep quiet

but they scored 4 goals after tht

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

you telling me if MU din take the lead they'd have won 4-2

anthony says:

shows tht totenham was the worse team

no no

anythin could have happned

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

have you seen MU score 4 goals in a game against a proper team???

anthony says:

maybe the margin would have been less

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

without getting penalties???

anthony says:

hahaha

dude its one penalty la

oh got la

7-1 againts roma

remember?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

howard webb, mike riley and hugh dallas have awarded penalties to MU at old trafford 12 times this season

lol u forget

in that game MU had 2 penalties

anthony says:

really?

but still the first goal wasnt a penalty

dei

dont tell me chelsea n liverpool were never gifted a penalty?

come on la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol not liverpool

anthony says:

ur statements r jst assumptions

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

wait rmbr last year when chelsea were about to win the title when Wigan were denied a clear penalty against MU?

anthony says:

its not a definitive

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

referee was Howard Webb

anthony says:

huh

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

coincidence?

anthony says:

how many points diff were chelsea form mu

tht time?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

even on points, leading on goal diff

lol

last game of the season

anthony says:

ok at the end of the season?

equal pooints?

haha ok ok

so u sayin

howard webb

was aassigned by FA to play in important games

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

the linesman in a better position never offered a penalty

anthony says:

they planned it in damn advance

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

this guy runs up and gave it away

anthony says:

oh at this perticular time give a penalty

come on la

u can blame things like tht

chelsea should have won more games

thts their prob

n should have scored more

thn they would have been on top

but they didnt do tht

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

and have you realised no one has backed Fergie but Benitez has received many plaudits for stating what MU have been doing

anthony says:

dei

wenger n all have been behind fergie la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol check ur news

anthony says:

dei

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

wenger send an SMS to benitez saying well done

anthony says:

wenger tipped fergie to win the 5 trohpies

of course la u beat MU like tht

evry1 is hopin for Mu to screw up

talk about consistency la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol...

anthony says:

dont talk about individual games

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

talk about gettiing whooped 4-1 at home

anthony says:

u want to win the league

be consistant

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

and you have to bribe ur refs well

anthony says:

haha its one of those days la

hahahaha

bribe refs

oh come on

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

23 years at one club - and all the refereeing decisions come your way

anthony says:

this is wat the losers always say

u gotta understand

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

you have freedom to say anything you want to the FA

anthony says:

when ur reff a big game

specially wit alot of stars

ul be under alot of pressure

rite?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol

anthony says:

they do make mistakes

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

pierlugi collina did it well

anthony says:

i remember againts everton

MU should have had a clear penalty

but they didnt

n they were kicked out

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

yeah... they had 5 others later

anthony says:

wat u gonna say abou tht?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

which they missed

anthony says:

huh?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

anthony says:

haiyo

dei

tink before u talk

u jst playin cheap shot

shots

not adressin tnhe issue

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

i'm thinking well. they had 5 penalties

anthony says:

thts wat liverpool have been doin

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

they squandered them because they were too arrogant

which is why they're the most hated team in the world

anthony says:

who ?

dei if u all didnt screw up ur small games

u all will be on top of the league

but u all did

so dont blame on small things la

pointless

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

have you notice MU have never played a game on saturday after a champions league game?

anthony says:

dei u gotta understand how many competition they were in

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

have you noticed that Fergie can freely run his mouth and they have never been charged by the FA?

anthony says:

he does it smartly la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

nope

anthony says:

they others no balls

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

he's got a hand in it

anthony says:

ok ok ok

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

its a scam

anthony says:

fine

thn dont watch epl la

lol

go watch spanish league

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

the premier league has not been audited since its formation unlike the serie A

anthony says:

since the whole epl is a scam

ok so watch serieA la

llol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

its the only league where the referee once gave 3 yellow cards in a game

anthony says:

pointless la

lol

haha which league?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

EPL

he gave 3 yellow cards to one player in a game

anthony says:

eh world cup also rite

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

hugh dallas

anthony says:

once?

oh yea

lol

hahaha

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

anyway we'll see MU play arsenal in the league and Man C

anthony says:

ok so Mu beat porto cause they bribed uefa?

ronaldos goal became a reality cayse they bribed the porto keeper?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol i never complained about beating porto

porto are a cheap shit club, if MU din beat them i'd be laughing

anthony says:

well for thm to reach the semifinal

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol the route they took was the easiest

anthony says:

dei proto won a champions league recently

chelsea hasnt

so how can u say

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol dont u dare talk about chelsea not winning u jolly well know how lucky MU was to win the recent one

anthony says:

people gotta jst stop the balmin game

hahaha after chelsea equalised la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

chelsea did it without a manager

anthony says:

so how do u define Mu aws lucky

come on avam grant became their manager

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

rite

anthony says:

n he was incharge of tht game

pointless la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

i'll let wan jamak hassan manage MU and we'll see how well he fares

anthony says:

in the end chelsea screwed it up

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

did i argue chelsea???

did i once say chelsea deserve to win it??

anthony says:

u said MU were lucky?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol typical MU fan- deflects blame

anthony says:

lol

haiyo

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

i said MU dont deserve to win. i never said chelsea deserved it

anthony says:

if Mu dont deserve thn who does?

lol

referee?

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

liverpool

anthony says:

hahahaha

y ah?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

for playing the fairest finest football without intimidation of refs

anthony says:

hahahahaha

but they made one mistake

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

without being on a level playing field but still thumping an arrogant alex 4-1 at old trfford

anthony says:

hahaha

dude they have torres

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

now any team that loses by that big a margin at home should just pack up

anthony says:

n u sayin they r not even

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

torres dint play mind you

anthony says:

lol

he did la

he n gerrard

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol oh yeah i rmbr

they took them off at half time cos they were already winning 3-1

sorry my mistake

anthony says:

vidic went for a run

no la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

vidic should have been sent off for the earlier foul

anthony says:

he played full time

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

but he survived

anthony says:

he was anyway

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

but fergie din pay the ref enough

anthony says:

n teams have their off day la

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

so he got sent off the 2nd time

anthony says:

haiyo

even mu beat chelsea at home once wat

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

eh pointless la

im hungry

anthony says:

thrashed thm

yea

finally u realised

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

chelsea beat MU 5-0 got la

anthony says:

yea

tht was 1999

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

MU beat chelsea 3-0

anthony says:

yea

still thrashin

n even tht season where they beat Mu 5-0

mu won the league

i remember vialli was the manager

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

vialli's fault la

he should've quietly paid the referee's also

idiot la

anthony says:

lol

haiyo

u people ah

excuses la

y not beat the smaller teams

easier rite

solves all the prob

u all will be on top of the league

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

cant la

referee's wont give us penalties

anthony says:

haha

like we beat weak teams wit penalties

dei we got damn few this season la

last yr alot

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

did you realise no one publicly criticized rafa for what he said about fergie and MU??

no one did cos everyone knew he based it on facts

anthony says:

did la

i cant rmemebr who

the sun had

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

fergie kept quiet also

anthony says:

i tink wenger n all

eya la

wats the point of talkin

prove a point la

by winninge the league

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol... cos he was like shit- we've been found out

anthony says:

better thn talkin cock n end up wit nothin

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

Fergie has never ever shut up regarding ne thing

he talks the most cock among all

anthony says:

aiya u gotta understand

benitez has nothing else left to do but the epl

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

he was whining when they lost to arsenal once and wenger said ] everyone at home thinks their wife is the prettiest

anthony says:

fergie got better things to do

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol benitez had the treble when he made that outburst

btw MU only has the league now

champions league confirm they'll kena tapau ready

anthony says:

champions league la

lol

see la how

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

away leg at emirates

anthony says:

the weay MU played on sat

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol.... mark my words

anthony says:

shows tht they r back to their old ways

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

MU will get thumped

they had no old ways la

anthony says:

haha dei MU score one goal also i happy

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

they tried playing like that wtih porto at home and drew 2-2

anthony says:

dei

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

so they went to typical MU defend the 1=0 league

anthony says:

last season u gotta admit they were playin like brazil

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

when have MU ever played like brazil

anthony says:

yea tactics la

last season

go see

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

all they do is feed it down the wing and cross it for a runner

anthony says:

most interestin football

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

check every MU goal

its the same thing

anthony says:

but this season liverpool has been playin like tht

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

feed it evra or ronaldo and cross it in

anthony says:

dei ronaldos goal/./

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

thats all

anthony says:

a goal is a goal man

lol

n u saw ronaldos goal agiant porto?

who would dare do tht in a semifinal

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

have u realised MU have yet to beat a team that have been on form. Gerrard scores those kinda goals weekly man.

anthony says:

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

arsenal beat them, liverpool thrashed them

anthony says:

lol

define form?

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

winning 3 games in a row

anthony says:

jst because a team was good for one game means they r on form?

ok ok

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

wait fulham beat them as well la

yeah

anthony says:

so y is MU on top thn?

lol

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

because MU have the benefit of draws

to play games well spread out

to have a fit team to play each game

anthony says:

come on la

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

to have intimidating presence on the FA and refs

anthony says:

see the last 3 weeks

look at our line up la

all shit players

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

and lastly have you seen a penalty not given to MU at old trafford??

never

anthony says:

FA cup

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

that was at wembly la mangkuk

anthony says:

look at tht line up

our players all mostly injured

hahaha

i dunno

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

yeah la.. like all the other teams

anthony says:

i dont play the blame game la

do u admit

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

im off for dinner la.

anthony says:

if liverpool n chelsea beat the weak teams

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

pareants calling me

anthony says:

they will be on top?

ok ok

ciao

Voodoo Child - Sanjeet The Sovereign Sanguine Prodigy says:

lol i'll admit if chelsea and liverpool played on sunday after champions league and were awarded a penalty every 2 home games they'd be top

anthony says:

lol

haiyo

assumptions

when u all gona start tinkin in terms of reality

lol... i know all female readers are going sheesh men...

But im not walking alone:)

veni, vidi et capiebar ad anum

2009-04-22T10:42:00.000-07:00

''I came, I saw and I endured a rear assault''

I happened to meet someone from IMU at Dome yesterday. She spoke to me about this blog and how it has slowly gone cold. In her words, I am only fun when I'm in a tight spot.

I pondered upon this thought and I realized what it meant. From my outbursts and exile from the Indian Gang, to the fiery chastising of the Annie Tay incident, to the crowning of the Tharveen group as the Royal Jester of the Court, I had but one thing in common. The need to provoke. I recently notice that while a war is ensuing, I have a desirable need to evoke a response rather than let it simmer down and so I provoke. And so predictable are my 'foes' that the evoked response is more or less previously calculated and dealt with in a way that makes me seem like Blondie (Clint Eastwood in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly). Yes, I may not seem like the hero at the beginning but by carefully ensuring the rest fall into the other 2 categories I seal my splendor with a smile:)

I admit, the above was a recent finding. Up till today I always assumed my response to a tight situation would be to raise the roof guns blazing or to bow out quietly. Ok roof raising mainly.
I recall a time back in highschool. The Soon-to-be Head Prefect was a friend of mine. Yes, lets assume my group of friends and I were kingmakers. Such was our influence that the firm favourite, (who finally became the head of the disciplinary committee) was ousted out. And it was in our dumb assumption that having the Head Prefect owe you a favour would be beneficial. This was the first time I was introduced to the word Go Getter. I realised that he had did the impossible. He manipulated the manipulative and influential Jonathan and Sanjeet to his liking and later tried knocking us off. Ah yes, beware the used condom that'll come to haunt you. He penalized each of us, Jonathan, Myself, JaySonn and Arvind (ok this guy was a crook to begin with, he just added to the masses). JaySonn was first. Being a highly rated prefect, JaySonn was called to the newly formed Court Of Prefects to explain several minor misdemeanors and warned that a warning letter was on its way. Next in line was myself. And I kept quiet thru the ordeal studying the situation. He had called me up because i drew a monkey on the blackboard and wrote his name under it as a joke. He also questioned my unorthodox methods of performing my duties and finally complained about my behaviour in class. I informed him I was a student first and then a prefect and I had no time for this crap and left the Court of Prefects. At this moment, the enemy had been sized up. Jon would be next. We had to drop him in a hole. We informed Jon that the head prefect and 2 others would be there (his 2 assistants). The female assistant was a short grumpy loud girl. The other was a firm follower of his, a true assistant. Jon realised that by getting to her, he could roll the dice in his favour. As we saw it, the head prefect was a dick, and the rest were his balls. Cut one ball off and he gets careful. without balls he's just a dick and dicks even girls can handle:)

So jon went on a rampage, eating in class, skipping school and doing what jon does best, just irritating the hell out of the head and his assistant. the girl was in the next class you see. We'd once in a while send msgs to the top of the blackboard in the next class with a silly drawing of her as the teacher was teaching cos we knew she sat in front so she'd get so annoyed and pull it off just before the teacher saw it. it was a pulley system we invented. Yes we were from the best class you see:)

Eventually Jon was called up to the court. Firstly when they asked about him eating in class, he threw out a strip of Ranitidine for gastritis. this gave him all the right to eat whenever he needed to:). about the noise in class we made, We asked for documented proof from teachers (who never bothered much really as long as we did our work). And his final task was to explain his absence from class ever so frequently. and he mentioned he has gastritis- hence the pills, hence the MC and that even in his condition he is expected to serve as a prefect standing up under the sun. He then teases the head and his assistant as both their fathers were doctors yet they didn't consider his condition to be serious. The short girl got fired up and Jon told her by being short, her ass is closer to her brain, hence her brain is closer to shit than a normal persons. I know that was a classic statement. she got so mad she stormed out. This declared our war with the Board. Even the Board was divided. as they had not been installed yet, the senior Board (which were our allies as we spun the story such to make us seem like victims of power abuse) was still in power. The Junior Board (our batch) were divided. Some thought we had a case, the rest were busy sucking up to the Head Prefect for brownie points. it proved to be a grueling 2 months. We had to lobby ourselves to all the other prefects. In one meeting, they had called upon 'someone' who had broken the prefects ethics by informing outsiders what happened in the Court of Prefects. well this person was me no guesses there. and like they thought they could brand me as a traitor. sadly everyone had heard my side of the story. so when they asked what should be done to this prefect, a unanimous answer of nothing was given. and the head prefect then proceeded to ask Alif Aiman. LOL this guy is the blurrest prefect alive. He's also straightforward. But I was placed alongside him near the drain for duty that week and so i told him every detail of my ordeal. When they asked why i should be free, Alif said, because He is my friend. I started chuckling amidst the tension. The BODs then began looking around questioning who the character was, as some were in the dark. And the head prefect threatened to mention the name of the culprit. I stood up and said i was the culprit, to a raptuous applause and to add to this, those who were on the fence commended my for my bravery in admitting my 'wrongdoings'. so the ball had bounced back into the head prefects court. only thing was that he was all alone now. his 2 assistants were so undone by the whole ordeal they wanted out. The senior prefects refused to attend the installation ceremony as they were against the head.

Chaos is my garden of ZEN.

in Desperation caught up with the head prefect and he informed his close friend that he was about to take matters into his own hands. He mentioned he was going to plant something in Jon's bag to get him a black record and suspend him from being a prefect. (our school was quite strict on prefects carrying Porn and Ciggies). Sadly his ally happened to blurt this out. and like a statutory declaration, we made him write what he had said with his signature and with a witness. We used this as leverage and brought the case up to the Disciplinary teacher. She happened to be the head prefects No 1 fan. So we knew we were at a handicap. However we had a few insiders that helped us convey the message and she agreed to hear us out. We finally gave her a list of wrongdoings by him. Jon wanted him to be sacked as the head prefect. Such was our animosity towards him at that point. However a public apology was made and all was soon forgotten. The teacher complained she had many sleepless nights being the disciplinary teacher and became depressed. she relinquished the position the following year. I felt bad for that as she turned out the biggest loser in this whole ordeal. The Head Prefect swallowed the bitter pill and apologized. His assistants never did but we somehow had it easy from then on. I admit we were bad excuses for prefects. But it was the first time a revolution was started. And amazingly the whole incident was echoed around Subang. Many other schools questioned the incident and we became overnight Bravehearts. There was also a rumour that we were supposed to be promoted to BOD's to keep us quiet/to keep the others in check by another teacher but we werent interested to begin with. we were too lazy to carry on such responsibilities and furthermore, we were the renegade prefects and had an image to uphold:)
from then on we kinda walked with a different swagger. I remember the whole incident being one that i really felt uncomfortable when it began as things were stacked against us. I'd call up Jon and ask him if we're gonna get caught out for trying to topple the head prefect. We hung in there and laugh about the incident today. Teachers took great interest in the whole story and we kept getting questioned by several concerned teachers privately about our side of the story. The Head Prefect however never quite recovered from the incident and i wish i could turn things around today.

This incident made me realise that in every battle, the one that loses his cool first shall make the first mistake. He did it here by making a rash statement to his ally, Ben did it by shouting back at Prof Annie Tay, the gang- lol lets leave them out for this one, (Life is great, they got pushed to the south hemisphere and I'm up north), and tharveen wanted a battle of wits when he had none:).

Back in Mara College Banting I had several run ins with fellow batchmates, and the assistant principal. But this post is long enough as it is. Maybe next time.

moral of the story, stay rooted to the ground cos when the storm is over, your opponents will probably be dead tired from trying to wither it. they are at your peril then on:)

And to my ex-prom date, Avinder:)
Happy 23rd bday. you rocked that night.
Now lets see what seipatkong has to say on this 'affair':)

Culture Unplugged Video

2009-04-21T14:41:00.001-07:00

View this movie at cultureunplugged.com

Advocatus diaboli - The devil's advocate

2009-04-08T08:33:00.000-07:00

This post is a tribute to someone who left today to conquer the serene plains of a land entrenched with mystery. I wish her the very best in life.

The Godfather, by Mario Puzo, highlights the role of a Godfather, the protagonist (hero) and how Micheal Corleone rises up the ranks. One character however continues to escape all the attention. Caporegime Clemenzza gained a cult status, Enforcer Luca Brassi would be well known for memorizing the script before meeting Vito Corleone, but Tom Hagen - played by the impeccable Robert Duvall... yes the role of Consigliere - advisor.
The beauty of every Hero in folklore and history is that they all came with a consigliere. The great King Arthur, with the strength of Excalibur, still depended on Merlin for guidance. If you did read about it, Merlin was less a wizard and more a clairvoyant. He saw how things would pan out and advised King Arthur to form the Knights of the round table, Guinevere later falls in love with Lancelot and even this was foreseen by Merlin. but Merlin himself remains an enigma to the reader. My advisor on this blog- my excalibur is an enigma herself. Little did I know about her as she appeared to hand me the Excalibur by appearing as the Lady of the lake.

I shall quote her contributions in a famous line by Paul Mccartney

'' And in my hour of darkness, She is standing right next to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be''

The angst inside of me sometimes hands me the golden fleece and the newly instilled bravery makes me run amok. But she whispers into my ears when the steam seems to run out of it, and it tenderly lays me down in bed again, pondering my every move.
Power is something that drives you. and the beauty of it is that no man can withstand the temptation of power. Aragorn, the shabby greasy dude who's heir to Isildur's throne, needed the guidance of Gandalf the Grey to finally seize control of his destiny. Batman, returns home to his batcave to seek the counsel of Michael Caine (Alfred). Freakazoid has Ingmar. Sultan Muzaffar Shah had Tun Perak. Macbeth had Lady Macbeth.

Sometimes it doesnt matter who the consigliere is, but there is always one. V had Evey Hammond, who in comparison to him had nothing to live for. Chandragupta Maurya, advises his son Asoka to forgo his greed and attain salvation.

the count has Igor.
I have my very own advisor. Lets call her the queen of the Nile:) mainly for her extravagant use of the eyeliner:)

She ensures that the path I take is one that I am certain of, not tell me which path to take. It is just a whisper, but with such specific use of words, even one whimper or grunt has a meaning. And when you are alone in a dark silent room, the most silent of sounds can point you in the right direction. She's my advocate, as she ensures that my rage does not consume me. If i were an illusionist, she would be the one who'd be genuinely concerned about my act failing.

She is my consigliere. and i call upon everyone to not be fooled by the temptations of power. History has thought us that every hero needs a consigliere, an accomplice to cushion the blows he receives. I'm glad I found mine:)

They might not always be right, as in Lady Macbeth, but i'll take my chances. 2 heads are better than one:)
also enjoy this metaphorical video about how our decisions can be influenced so easily

business:)

2009-04-05T23:09:00.000-07:00

hey for all you fitness freaks out there...
im currently running a business
im selling all these products. It takes about 3-4 days to deliver but its one of the cheapest prices in town. do inform me if you know anyone interested. Contact me at 012-3818124.
the pricelist is as follows

Product Name Servings Expiry Selling Price

Lipo-6 120 Liqui-caps 05 / 2011 =150

Lipo-6 240 Liqui-caps 04 / 2011 =280

Muscletech - Creakic Hardcore 180 caps 06 / 2011 =200

Age Less - UltraMax Gold 90 caps 01 / 2010 =250

Animal - M-Stak 21 packs 06 / 2012 =180

Animal - Stak 21 packs 07 / 2012 =180

Animal - Test 21 packs 06 / 2012 =280

Animal - Cuts 42 packs 07 / 2012 =160

BSN - Nitrix 180 tabs 09 / 2010 =200

BSN - Nitrix 360 tabs 06 / 2011 =280

Nutrex - Anabol 5 120 caps 05 / 2011 =180

MuscleTech - Leukic Hardcore 180 caps 06 / 2011 =230

BSN - Cheaters Relief 120 caps 04 / 2011 =130

MuscleTech - Hydroxycut Hardcore 210 caps 04 / 2010 =280

Kaizen - Caffeine 100 caps 05 / 2010 =50

Kaizen - Dhea 60 caps 05 / 2010 =140

BSN N.O. Explode ( Grape Flavour ) 1.81 LBS 03 / 2009 =260

regards

A tribute to Korn

2009-03-22T03:45:00.000-07:00

Pictures courtesy of :
http://www.flickr.com/photos/ognam/3381790978/in/set-72157615746198825/

I was in Form 3 when the name Korn first seemed appealing. In Form 1, the Metallica craze of being Old Skool still rung in my mind (before Iron Maiden sealed its place forever lol) but Korn was always viewed as a Nu Metal band, along with the likes of System of a Down, Killswitch Engage and so on. As a non-conformist, i let my bitter ego shade me for appreciating the works of art by these bands and it was only after a while that i took into my stride the era of nu metal (btw Linkin park isn't here - Linkin Park are Ipod metal - some shit you mix on a computer and play for others)

I once wondered if I was born into an era 20 years behind, as in my Infatuation with the works of Jimi and Led Zeppelin and how the music scene is slowly being killed by the likes of R&B and Hiphop- no offence to the fans of these music.
I once heard Sam Dunne (anthropologist on the evolution of Metal) call Metal the only male orgasm that lasts. I always puzzled at it. Jack Black got 1000 people to beg "the God's of Rock and Roll" Led Zeppelin for the right to use 'The Immigrant Song' for the movie School Of Rock.
And for once i understood exactly what it meant.
Having Korn, especially Jon Davis racing from behind the curtains with a spinechilling scream in Kilts send every ounce of blood in me into a rapture. It was so breathtaking just admiring what was going on stage. The deafening yells of the crowd in unison with the strumming of Munky and the Smacking Bass by Fieldy - alongside their new drumming phenomenon Ray Luzier, with his ass cracking double paddles.

It was the fastest 90 minutes of my life. And the beauty of it is that, thats the only detailed memory I have of sunburst 2009. I mean we had so many other bands, but nothing redefined that night like Korn.
"Valhalla, I'm Coming Home'' (immigrant song). The manner in which Johnny Plant uttered the mentioned words explained my every emotion during the 90mins of baptism. Valhalla is a mystical place in Viking Mythology in Asgard owned by the God Oden. Chosen by Odin, half of those that die in combat travel to Valhalla upon death, led by valkyries, while the other half go to the goddess Freyja's field Folkvangr. In short Valhalla means hall of the chosen dead. Where eternal life is bestowed upon those who arrive at its doorstep.
A proper metal concert felt like that, like your soul had left your body into Jonathan's hands as he molds your emotions as you yell out 'Something takes a part of me' (freak on a leash). I have always admired the way JD expresses every emotion that he had when he wrote the song on the canvas that represents his face. I now realise why I have been told to see Korn live. Jonathan Davis relives every moment of his life in that very song. Someone told me today that Metal is too loud. Its too noisy. But thats how true aggression is expressed. When you do badly in an exam, guys especially, they don't feel like crying, they feel like smashing a window or breaking a door down. Anger is the most expressive of all emotions and aggression is the most definitive form of anger. A burning desire to set yourself free from the clutches of the world. i've always pictured it as someone running hard away from a bubbling muck that pulls him back into a pit. There is a need to break free. a need to be unshackled. and nothing satisfies this desire more than metal. No offence to Coldplay, but it would never have offered me such an escape. I waited there in the front row for 2.5 hours with Renuka's brother Govind, and a part of me thought what if Korn turns out to be disappointing, and watching the showmanship on NERD, I was beginning to wonder if Korn could live up to it. And I had a refresher course in why metal is the only element in my blood. Plain simple, it made me feel like crying and ripping my shirt off at the same time.
A lady in heels stepped on my foot many times while the crowds were jostling during the concert. A bunch of idiotic white guys were in front of me, one guy claiming he came to Sunburst for Erykah Badu.. and i felt so cheated. I mean really, you take the place of a fellow metalhead just cos u felt like it? (seeing that he was in front of the railings. and when you're at the railings ur supposed to bust your gut. lean over the fence and take the moshpit's after effects as you yell out the words to Got The Life and not stand a foot away and ensure no one cuts your queue. Metalheads are about the nicest people you'll ever meet. So back to that lady who stepped on my foot. I kinda ensured she wasn't affected to badly by the mosh pit by placing her between me and another guy in front and absorbing the shocks of the pit. no it had nothing to do with her looks or her hot pants, its chivalry, every metalhead has it. and like she stepped on my foot many times in her heels. During one song, Blind, I smiled at her and said "BiTCH!! MY FOOT!!" (as the music had got my adrenaline running) and she said sorry. We smiled and got on with it. When i explained the incident to a friend of mine she said i was rude. but it's hard to explain the actual situation to her.

Frank Zappa's band was called Mothers' of invention.
In metal terms mother is short for mother fucker and its not what it means in hip hop n R&B:)
mind you mother fucker means someone that's fucking awesome at playing the guitars. Bitch just means lady, and Son of a bitch means guy.

My lady friend found the song faget quite offensive without knowing that JD is actually referring to himself. Many a time JD relates his personal experience and undying need to break away from the shackles of his life as he lived a hard life of being an outcast.

This phenomena enables him to so vividly express it in words. The scream of JD is like none other. the raw hoarseness of his voice shrieks the devils inside everyone and its an invitation to sail away into another time and space, so much so you wake up from it wondering what happened.

To Sunburst I thank you for KORN.
To Korn, i thank you for reinstilling my faith that there can be none better than metal.
To Led Zep, i thank you for the invitation to the court of Oden,
To Metal, i thank you for quenching my desire,
To Jack Black, i understand how the hammer of thor feels when it knocks on your door. The title Gods in metal is a very feasible term. there're only few that can take your breath away and give you a new lease of life in that very instant.

nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae fuit

2009-03-18T08:36:00.001-07:00

''There has been no great wisdom without an element of madness''

It has been a long time coming but I needed a good post to like increase the visitor count on my blog once again:)

Today, as almost every Wednesday I go to the temple. Well today's sermon was a tad bit different.
An interesting verse by Fareed was discussed.

ਫਰੀਦਾ ਜੋ ਤੈ ਮਾਰਨਿ ਮੁਕੀਆਂ ਤਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਨ ਮਾਰੇ ਘੁੰਮਿ ॥
Fareed, do not turn around and strike those who strike you with their fists.

ਆਪਨੜੈ ਘਰਿ ਜਾਈਐ ਪੈਰ ਤਿਨ੍ਹ੍ਹਾ ਦੇ ਚੁੰਮਿ ॥੭॥
Kiss their feet, and return to your own home. ||7||

and another verse

ਨਾ ਕੋ ਬੈਰੀ ਨਹੀ ਬਿਗਾਨਾ ਸਗਲ ਸੰਗਿ ਹਮ ਕਉ ਬਨਿ ਆਈ ॥
No one is my enemy, and no one is a stranger to me. I get along with everyone

Next we were told about the story of Bhai Ghanaiya.
Now my Punjabi history may be rusty to my years may be a little mingled up. But the story of Bhai (translation means brother) Ghanaiya (characters name) I fondly remember.

This was during the Punjabi-Mughal wars during the time of our tenth Guru, Guru Gobind Singh.
What happened was during the war many soldiers had fallen down due to the heatwave that day. Mind you soldiers back then carried nothing but solid iron in their vests, helmets, swords (i carried a sword myself and I can assure you it weighed around 15-20kgs easily) along with their footwear and others. So a heatstroke would be a commonplace. The Sikhs were defeating the Mughals as they had chosen the rugged heated terrain to their favour. However one man, called Bhai Ghanaiya was passing by. With him he carried a tank of water. And he poured water on the faces of both Mughals and Sikhs, quenching their thirst and many of them woke up to fight once more. Seeing that most men down were Mughals, the Sikh generals were quite puzzled. So Bhai Ghanaiya was summoned. And when summoned he said, Sir I do not see who is good or bad in thsi battlefield. But all I see is a Holy Spirit 'begging' for water. Sir tell me how do I resist when a Holy Spirit begs? On hearing this Guru Gobind sent him back into the battle field urging him to save more lives.

No this is not a religious sermon rather a stand I am taking for today. The path of righteousness. No I am not an agnostic or an atheistic person. I have my own religion and beliefs. But a strong part of me believes we live in a world today where there is little difference between right and wrong. I once questioned the hatred against the Jews to a Muslim friend of mine (mind you she's very articulate and intelligent so I do trust her) and she admits the Jews are intelligent but because of the Gulf War and her upbringing she says most Muslims see the Jews as evil. I do apologize for using your statement here if you do read this blog. I understand its not a direct quotation but rather a paraphrase and I hope it's an accurate one. I personally believe there is no good nor evil there. The Jews claim the 'Holy' Land is theirs and invaded it, but the Palestinians should've known better than to send rockets out on Christmas. So yes, both parties are technically right and wrong. The paths chosen if argued would be 3 different paths. The Jewish reasoning of 'we were here first', the Palestinian reasoning of 'we stayed here longer' or my favourite, both of you guys are wrong.

Do take notice i'm not being a diplomat. Diplomats would agree with both sides. What I am doing is putting them both in their place.

The Bible speaks of such people as shepherds.
Those who take the path of righteousness, those who choose to take that fine line between what is deemed good or bad are shepherds. (at this point if I am wrong do correct me)

Firstly for those who aren't familiar with the Bible I shall give you an introduction.

The first shepherd recorded in the Bible was Abel, the son of Adam.(i think)

"Genesis 4:1 And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD. 2. And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground."

So Cain and Abel each chose different methods for acquiring food. Cain, the elder brother, chose farming, while Abel raised sheep. Both are later asked to make sacrifices.

"Genesis 1:3 And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD. 4. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: 5. But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell."

At this point both men are charged 'tax' as both are made to sacrifice out of their labours. In Sikhism we call this 'Daswandh'. In Islam they call is Zakat. - though it does not mean literal sacrifice- rather a donation in both cases as i mentioned. Do not take this literally, for you may misquote me and get me into trouble. So back to the story, as one was a shepherd he naturally sacrificed his sheep and the farmer sacrificed what he had, fruits.

Genesis 1:6 And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? 7. If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him. 8. And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

So here, God provided a logical solution to Cain. While Cain had offered an unaccepible offering, this was not really a problem, as he had the opportunity to correct his actions. God asked “Why art thou wroth? and why is thy counenance fallen?” as if “what's the problem?” If God was saying that it was not a problem then obviously he didn't have a lot to be concerned about. At this point, he had not sinned or even necessarily done anything to be ashamed of. Furthermore, God then provided the solution to Cain, “If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted?” Here he was basically saying that Cain didn't need to be the first to make the acceptable offering --- just that he had to do it. History, in verse 8, shows that Cain did not choose to follow the advice, and indeed the commandment of God, and instead killed Abel --- making the first shepherd the first murder victim.

The shepherd here was an innocent bystander who perished. But one who did not choose or favour any side. I'm not raising anti-God statements here mind you. Its just that the name of God has been taken in vain these days especially in Holy wars and such. I mean the idea of war itself is a sin, slewing of men and pillaging of homes and stuff, is that the true path to righteousness?

Anyway back to the shepherd and his journeys.

The next time it appears in the Bible is Mark 15:19 as seen in Passion of the Christ where the high priests choose to release the murderer Barrabas to have Jesus crucified. The shepherd here was sacrificed in envy as the Jews at this point in time saw Jesus as a threat to their superiority and rule. The Shepherd here was sacrificed - righteous (ok at this point i realise righteous people keep dying but hang in there) the high priests (apparently good at that time), Barrabas (definitely bad). And the Path between both paths is the path of righteousness.

Psalms 23:1 (A Psalm of David.) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

In this chapter, David is likening God to a shepherd. Indeed, he is saying that God is his shepherd, He makes him lie down in green pastures. Green pastures, of course, are rich in food and save from starvation. He also leads him beside the still waters. Sheep don't like drinking from any fast-flowing watercourses, and instead need still ponds or pools of water. So, here the shepherd is supplying the basic needs of the sheep.

At this point the Lord is chosen as the Shepherd, and as the Bible goes you shall realise that the Shepherd is one that picked no sides, nor did he point out which was good nor bad. He only speaks of the path of righteousness. One that trancends good or bad. Good or bad is only a matter of perception. But Righteousness is a stand. A human suicide bomber may be good or bad, but definitely not righteous.

John 10:11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep. 12. But he that is an hireling, and not the shepherd, whose own the sheep are not, seeth the wolf coming, and leaveth the sheep, and fleeth: and the wolf catcheth them, and scattereth the sheep. 13. The hireling fleeth, because he is an hireling, and careth not for the sheep. 14. I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine. 15. As the Father knoweth me, even so know I the Father: and I lay down my life for the sheep. 16. And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

A shepherd is not one who is a diplomat- that is to say something to please some one - a hireling, a yes man. Rather one who stands up to be counted and stands out, one who chooses the path that cannot be argued right or wrong.

Such is the path of Bhai Ghanaiya. And possibly many other Characters and scholars from the past.

I just read a book by Malcolm Gladwell called The Tipping Point. It is about the law of capitalism and how certain things happen overnight. The first example is about how Hush Puppies which almost became bankrupt finally became a household name in shoeware. He talks about how something can tip and loose its balance and just cause a total makeover in seconds. Like the Starbucks phenomenon. It defies the laws of evolution, progression. it happens like geometric progression. How high would a large piece of paper (A3) be if it were folded 50 times?

the answer is peculiar- to the sun and back mind you. it is only in theory but its quite fascinating right?

anyway my point about the book was that the hardline it is trying to drill is to be a shepherd, the one that walks the path in between good and bad. I tend to take sides myself very often. Often supporting a friend in need. Recently on a trip with some friends, I was bestowed the role of the shepherd, in which I was made a human being, and I had voices and whispers surround me. 2 or more different stands and I was to take one, and for once I took the hardline stand of being a shepherd. And true to its word, it got me no where. To some, I'm seen as a softie, one that would be bent over easily, to another, as one who had no stand, no stance, but personally I felt, I was neither right nor wrong. And only when another person I call my conscience assured me of my stand, i felt better. At this moment those of you who're reading this may question the characters, but I assure you, it is not that I was afraid to take a stand. Rather I chose not to. And i did not give an implication that i was taking sides, i shunned all sides. I chose to be a non aligned person, totally. and that to me was the shepherd's path.

You see I personally feel we're all monkeying around. I mean can there really be a good deed? the concept of heaven and hell lay testament that there can never be a true good deed. For whenever something good is done, i can relate it to dangling a carrot in front of someone. To buy your way back into heaven as Constantine was told by Gabriel. So long as that lingers, there is no true good deed. Which makes hell that much more likely. But a bad thing, lets say a war, a holy war, lets take sides A and B ( to avoid offending anyone). If A were to win, did they condemn all of those from B to heaven or hell? B died in a holy war, technically they're all shahids. and A killed more than B, which makes them murderers, sinners, killers. But the argument continues A claims their sovereign Lord shall save them in battle and B claims likewise. So can there be a wrong Lord?
the path of righteousness is never wrong. It says, if in war you help the victims, you haven't taken any side. And trust me this is the hardest stand to take.

Bhai Ghanaiya you can say did what the Red Cross is doing now many years back. Isn't it a wonder that the red cross flag is an exact fit of the puzzle to the swiss flag. The Swiss, the only true non aligned country in the world. Yes I said it. Because the others claim to be NAM but they just shoot off when things go bad. The Swiss arrange for 'tabletalks' between world leaders.
Isn't it ironic that a piece of their flag is cut out into a cross and you get the red cross - the non aligned members of a warzone.

Ok at this point someone is going to ask me but what's the point of this post. My answer is simple. In every argument, in every fight, there will always be a good and bad one. If we can choose to be a Shepherd just once, there shall be a true winner. And you will have my respect.
And if I step over the line, do shepherd me back to my path for I am a sheep at heart as well.

Audere est facere - To dare is to do.

2009-03-03T09:32:00.000-08:00

My post today is going to be short and sweet:) (for once- without any controversies)

Just View this video *it'll take about 75 minutes for the video alone so please be patient.
And do comment on it.
I personally found it very inspiring. I for one am a person that fears dying. I've always thought of dying as similar to sleeping and like if there is a heaven or hell, or a cycle of life, would I ever get one as interesting as this one? Would I ever be Sanjeet again..

I won't say this answered my questions but it provided me with a different outlook.

Lares et penates legatus a latere

2009-02-18T09:45:00.000-08:00

I shall save you the trouble of finding out the translation of my above statement.

'Household Gods; Advisor from the side'

I begin this statement with a reply I gave my colleague at my workplace,

Q:How are you?
A: My emotions and presence is synonymous with the rising sun

Ah yes, the sound silence that breeds a glimmering sparkle when stared at for a few seconds before it initiates a blink due to its majestic beauty (or infrared waves yadda yadda)

In short, somethings aren't worth pondering. Just look, admire, and leave your nose out of it.
And no this is not a statement of intent or a warning, but rather an observation, and a lesson.

Ambiguity has been a strong point in my musings as I aspire to not be a journalist but rather a trapeze act. Vague, and totally unrelated. But let me explain further, in a trapeze act, some want something wrong to happen as it'll make a good spectacle. (I honestly admit I fall in this group) and the other group wants it to go perfectly well. I shall not judge both groups as they have their personal reasons and points to note on why they prefer their choices.

So let me reiterate my point, in any case, instigating an outcome should be avoided. I once read on a painting- 'Life is a mystery to be lived, Not a problem to be solved'

The live and let be solution has gone astray recently. In the wake of the recent scandal and the comical as well as deteriorating state of our headlines in the news and on the internet, I wish to convey my sincerest apologies to readers alive. A close aide of mine recently had an encounter with a gawking male who made a very odd/imposing/violating gesture on her. Nothing happened was what I was told, but the point is a thought like that had passed thru the minds of many. I realize many fail to find out how the issue affects this person, rather they chose to find out the worst extent and work backwards.
To clear it up, instead of saying, hey how're you feeling, many (myself EXcluded) would go, did he touch you???

I realize I shall someday meet a rape victim in my line of duty and my first question would be how're you feeling and I would share her sorrows. I would let her recapitulate her story to me. But I fear that somewhere along the way, a seemingly apathetic idiot will come by asking her what did he do to you...

Firstly a traumatic experience is relived, replayed and remembered each time it is recalled.
A simple example would be and accident
A victim would recall everything, from the moment before the accident, the ordeal itself, the smell of burning rubber, the sounds, the smashing of lights, the miss-of -a-heartbeat feeling, the vibrations that accompany the crash.
Now I personally cannot vouch for the truthness in this statement. But I myself remember vividly every ordeal from the emotions, to the physical attributes including the sweaty palms, the tears, the pain that you get when you hold your tears back for too long, so much so every blink hurts and water seeps out, but you hold your act together.

And I know a few who are so in touch with their memories that they recall every moment the way I do.

I wish i could recall where i heard this but this next statement but i hope it shall raise a thought, maybe even some hairs -
"The pain of my mind is of mine alone, who else can understand this emotion''
- I remember it from a scripture, The Bible, The Holy Quran, The Holy Granth, The Bhagavad Gita, I really cannot recall

But it left me pondering. Each time i am told to emphatize I stare at the person and try to recall an emotion that I once felt and then relate to that person. But in truth, nothing ever succumbs to it. What you hear is but a toned down version because words can never replace emotions. Words can express emotions but never replace them. You can cry while reading a book, but you shall never be able to write about why you cried. It is similar to recalling the exact details of a dream.

And in truth, I admit that I hold back my tears a lot. Be weary of a person who is the joker among the mourners. Because one who is afraid to cry, is just trying to protect himself from the impending tirade of sadness. In my darkest hour, I shed a tear at most, but at times I wish I held back less and shed more. For the valour and honour that I uphold with a nonchalant uncanny facade, is merely a painting that others admire, but only I shall know.

The Bhagavad Gita states
Emotions are the track on which all thoughts must travel

I am a firm believer in this. Today in utter bliss, I shall succumb to the fact that I am a mere mortal and I shall sincerely apologize for my quirps and remarks made when rage was my offramp.

I read this on 4chan.org and i found it rather hilarious. Yes i know there are many Christian Readers here and I'm not in support of what is said. I just thought it made a good laugh.

Qvalis artifex pereo

2009-01-29T08:20:00.000-08:00

The price of my servitude knows no limits. I have recently been employed as a waiter and so if you wish to see Sanjeet balancing footlong glasses on a tray that's full without breaking anything, please be my guest.

My workplace is in DOME Subang Parade.. And I personally don't get staff meals or discounts myself, so please don't beg for discounts. On the upside, the fellow waiters/waitresses, stewards and chefs are a joy to work with. The customers can be very nice, I recently received 3 great comments on cards personalised to my name.
One dude even told the manager its quite amazing I'm just a waiter:) - when I told him it was part time and I'm a 3rd year student he says its not hard to believe. Yes, a dream come true. I finally look my part as an intelligent person.

All my life (ok b4 the spectacles at least) I have been portrayed as a hopeless dumbnut. There was once when I was in standard 5 and I was loitering alongside the corridor as I was banquished from class as I (as usual) didn't do my homework. So I was sent out of class and I just thought I'd take a few extra strides. My life in primary school was quite a learning curve, initially in standard 1 I was a goody 2 shoes but by standard 2 I had an argument with this boy Nyanes (indian dude) and it involved us getting involved in a punch-up. I had a reputation of being a softie before that incident. I was later brought to the disciplin master's office and swatted on my legs with a feather duster. And the shame hurt more than the pain. But as I grew older, the shame started fading, and so getting whacked by a teacher was a norm, so much so I told the girl next to me, "Miss Sri is gonna hit my arm with the 1 metre ruler twice and tell me to get back to my seat. I rather take that than write my essay." So yes back to my loitering story, Pn Arisson- some pain in the neck lardball comes up to me and shouts what are you doing outside your class. So I told her I was chased out. And she asked which class and I said 5 Dahlia (the 2nd class- i dropped out of the first class cos i was dumb:) would you believe that...) And she refused to believe me. She took me to the headmaster, where I got a customary swatting again. Her plan was to check the records. And this lady was so spiteful she started checking the roster from the last class, 5 Teratai upwards. And when she was done, she found another punjabi boy's name and accused me of being Ranjeev and not Sanjeet. Ranjeev was in 5 Ros which was the 6th class. The fracas took up the whole period and Mrs Chan my English teacher came into the office and finally said I was from 5 Dahlia and she used these words, "He is surprisingly intelligent", pointing at my scruffy shirt that was partially untucked from all the running around before classes started.

So yes, in many ways I'm glad the look is here. Now to act intelligent. LOL, that i'm still working on.

Now back to my job at Dome, my admiration for waiters is incredible. Standing for 10 hours and literally waiting for customers is a real chore. Your feet turn sore as soon as you return home and the fatigue overrules the hunger. You just crash in bed only to wake up 4 hours later to have your dinner that had been waiting on the dinner table 7 hours ago. But on the brighter note, my parents missed having me around the house, so they made me opt for the afternoon shift and work only 5 hours a day and 20 hours a week (which is part time at Dome).

I was browsing thru the TV today and if I've noticed one thing, its that we're just getting more and more savage as the days run by. No not that Gaza conflict or that Sri Lankan - Tamil Tigers war, nor that prisoner that died in custody, although I was amazed in the papers that someone said we should not herald CRIMINALS as heroes and police as villains. Ah yes, the beauty of language, someone arrested is called a suspect, and only if he is tried in court can he be a Criminal. apparently not. Thank God I skipped Law and chose medicine, although many would agree I'd have been a very successful lawyer. At least as a doctor, my statements will have some credibility and no one can make a mockery of the healthcare of the country. Note to all the bravado's that're having processions, a good plan would be to steal each others slippers and get arrested for 2 weeks. confess to the crime and commit the crime in USJ. But make sure at least 200 of you are stealing at the same time. Don't be a menace to society, steal each other's shoe and not the general public's. Now flood the station and tell them you won't talk. And then when they torture you, in unison say that you forgot you lent each other the slippers/shoes and then say it was just a misunderstanding. Repeat the incident about 10 times and you shall get your revenge. Processions are too cliche la. I mean it was fun to read about at first but now its just boring.

And to all those who're rotting at home like Zalikha back in Bintulu. Be creative in life. Go and build a kite out of matchsticks and a paperbag. Then fly it as the wind blows strongly, and then light the string that you're holding with a lighter and watch the plane set ablaze. And shout Hell awaits all you sinners.
Fall on the ground, wiggle a little and say you had an epiphany.

IF that seems too extreme, dig your backyard for some grubs or worms or termites. Grab them all and put them in the middle of a news paper and burn all the sides. You'll see the sorry lil creatures run to the middle of the paper as the fire encroaches them. Even better if you can get snails. Add salt in the middle before burning and watch them die. And practice breaking bad news to the small kids that're wondering what in hell medical school did to you and say, Boy, I'm sorry to say, the snails have perished. I'll collect your soul tonight.

Or even better, collect your navel fluff in a bottle, then burn it.

As you can tell, pyromaniacism has recently struck me. It is just a way of venting my anger as I watch our world crumble. 10,000 migrant workers are sent back home from Dubai during the economic crunch, 70 ethnic Burmese are soon to be deported back to Burma as the Thai gov cracks down on them, although the Burmese men, which are about our age, that live in muck to earn a living claim that they will perish back home as they will be murdered. I choose to not get my emotions high, but I find it hard to believe that man made laws have inflicted more pain on each other than anything else. The economy was man's great feat, and yet a crumbling world economic crisis beckons. And all hopes lie on the shoulders of the Will Smith lookalike. And war, damn it why bother la.. Its a waste. If war is really necessary, do it like how Achilles did it, send the best man from each army and the winner takes all. As how the Minangkabau's used a hungry calf to defeat a raging bull. Who the hell wants to see a man with a rock take on a tank.

As you can tell my ideas are aplenty, but I am not taking sides. In war, I personally believe there are no protagonists. I'm just adding salt to the peanuts to give it a more acceptable taste:)

Also Appreciate Randomness. It is the only thing that keeps me sane at times. Randomness freaking rocks man.

like this one...

Ascendo tuum

2009-01-08T14:50:00.000-08:00

:)

For once I'm gonna let you find out what ascendo tuum means...

See in life, you'll have a group I affectionately call the dandelions:)
ah yes, them flowers which clog your nostrils with them pollen and irritate your eyes. Dandelions are carried off as the wind washes it away. Anonymity is something a dandelion possesses as no one ever knows which plant it came from, but once the plant has grown, we all bear witness to how fucked up it can turn out to be and have our suspicions on who the culprit was.

yeah i'm speaking in riddles, to sum things up, some people choose to remain anonymous while taking low pot shots. let me address you personally you TICK. You can suck the blood of a lion, and leave a scab on his torso, but you're so puny, he chooses to resist even scratching you. And the day you figure out how insignificant your contribution is to this world, I would take my applause with great pride. So yes, I should be ashamed of myself for letting a tick take a morsel of my sovereign blood. Little did i know I was even bitten. But being the self declared defender of the meek, you shall come back and read this post. Yes, you shall come back and read this post on my blog, for you are a sad puny tick that relies on my blood to survive. Do me a favour and stay off my turf:)
Pest control isn't what i applied for:)

I bid you adieu
ascendo tuum:)
(anonymous)

A verbis ad verbera - From words to blows "When trouble looks for you, its rude not to reply"

2008-12-30T08:57:00.000-08:00

lol...
Chong Beng messaged me online today to point out who had dissed me:)
the wonders of having people watch your back.

Oh well, she must be reading this blog as well, or someone in the Convo Mag committee must've spilled some beans.

anyway no use pointing fingers.
Unlike some unnaturally gifted individuals who lack the flair and charisma it takes to be Sanjeet:) *hint* I am NOT too busy to do anything for Christmas- instead i went to Jon's place- an old high school buddy and we had a round of CS that ended at 4am:).
For new years, you bet your sorry arse i will be out. See unlike this ewok (lol that creature from star wars) I do actually have a social life that does not resonate in grunts and destructive moans such as the lame ass "super sub" cheer:)

My wit forbids me from ever making such calamatous forms of art, for it is down right degrading. Apologies to ewoks, a gremlin would be more likely. yes gremlins, them fearful creatures that can be nice, and yet can be so freaking nasty you wish you had 2 rounds in your double barreled shotgun, one to punt its head off and the other to mutilate its nuts/reproductive canal to ensure such heinous beings are not further created.

But then again, they probably lack a sense of belonging. After all, how much would she know about class and standards:)
She'll learn it in UK i hope, or she'll bark at the polished individuals the way a mongrel barks at everyone that passes by. Anything that makes her wag her tail:)

this next picture is dedicated to you my dearest sweet lil pinch of shit:)

when money comes short....

2008-12-08T15:33:00.001-08:00

anyone would like to earn money, please just register here and it'll give me $1.25

im starting a rapidshare fund so i can buy my own rapidshare account and share the password with all the readers so yeah, please click on this link

http://www.AWSurveys.com/HomeMain.cfm?RefID=sanjeet

and register.. go fill up the surveys if you want.. if you dont just ignore it:) but register... thanks

castigat ridendo mores

2008-11-25T08:21:00.000-08:00

Nope Zalikha- thats a beer belly:)

Its been awhile since I put up a reasonable meaningful rambling apart from my usual requests for pendrives and lost ipods and also a diwali nite invitation. Lets just put that all aside

Castigat Ridendo Mores- latin for one who corrects customs by laughing at them-figuratively meaning someone who serves as a critic, a blunt one. Sometimes a nemesis, but very often an Anti-hero- sorta like Wolverine.

I have recently irked many individuals particularly the ones who are pseudo-backbenchers... yes the group that like to hang around near the back of the lecture theatre but freak out when they miss an alphabet that was spurted by a lecturer. There is one particular organism from this group that has the traits of a Mongoloid who keeps staring at the back not realizing that it is a general understanding that if you're at the back of the lecture, chances are you aren't really interested in paying attention and you'll zone out if the lecturer doesn't garner your interest.
Mastura (captain of the front row) for example sits in the front row as she feels it'll help her concentrate in class, and I applaud her for this and feel some mongoloids who do reach this website should understand that being a backbencher is not merely sitting at the back of the class.
its a conformity you agree to. Its a brotherhood. Its a way of life. Its an identity. A front bencher is one who wants to separate socializing from studying, and pay full attention.
A middle bencher is one who chooses to pay attention during important lectures and doze off in between boring lectures (they're in the middle to avoid detection as they're eclipsed by the Mastura-like terrestrials that occupy the front. The infamous Dundee group occupy this bunch and they are pretty cool in the sense that they don't make that much noise nor do they make a fuss when others are talking behind them. They're a good bunch as they conform to their midrange ways, ignoring the extremes (front vs back benchers)

Now here come the Pseudo-backbenchers. Those that sit behind, because its where the general rebels of the batch sit. yes, lets mingle with them as it'll increase our street rep. Now if anyone has any issue with this statement, prove me wrong:). i mean if you do wanna pay attention and require total silence, move to the middle or front benchers. WHY MUST YOU KEEP STARING AT THE BACKBENCHERS WITH THE HARD-ON KILLING (POTONG STEAM) FACE OF YOURS AND SNARL LIKE THE BEAST OF BALROG! Ah yes, provide me with an adequate understanding of your logic. Now if you have issues with us back benchers, feel free to MOVE IN FRONT. Guys like me have been veterans of the back bench since i was in primary 2. In primary 1 I sat in front as I was the monitor:).

Being a backbencher is someone that phases in and out of the lecture- hence providing his input whenever a question arises so the rest of the hall can share his thoughts. A backbencher is someone who wishes to indulge in personal discussions with fellow back benchers at the back and we pay due respect to the lecturer by sitting behind and not interrupting his lecture. some of us do bring coffee, tea and other foodstuff(cross reference- meehun, fried rice, pork ribs, Pau(s) and loads of other edible material to be engulfed during the lecture). We engage in smaller discussions and arguments as well as brainstorm and try to link our lectures as often as possible. Which is why we have the added ability of critical thinking. YES ITS A FOUL WORD TO THE PSEUDO's. It means having the ability to question and reason everything mentioned in the lecture. While you pseudo's are busy badmouthing me for talking at the back, the subconscious part of your brain is dying to be half as witty as I am. And so you come to my blog just to read what i wrote about you and then deny the fact that you're a pseudo to ease your fecal movements later in the evening:) tough luck.

Now my advice to the pseudo's (you know who you are)- you either shut the fuck up and sit down and bear with us talking without making fucked up retarded faces that resemble the arse of a branded mule, or you move to the front and write down every word uttered by the lecturer. its a free country, do as you wish. As long as you don't tread on me, I'm willing to close an eye and spare you from my list of people to fuck up.

another thing, I recently chose to be a badass and give someone a piece of my mind as i felt like it. Well with no offence intended he was an oriental. Nope i dont have anything against orientals as i am not a racist. well not like you guys anyway. I speak my mind and forget it:).
so yes, this oriental was speaking in the crudest most foul way in his loud voice spurting saliva and the bun he was chewing all over. And i decide to give him a taste of his own Shit. So yes, i confront him, and he says Don't Humiriate yourself (I KID YOU NOT). so i break into a laugh before correcting him and giving him a heads up that its a humerus not humelus (the bone that connects your shoulder to your forearm). He turns around- admitting defeat of course as he does not have his usual group to back him up, and says something in crude Cantonese and walks off.

Ah yes, personal satisfaction, insulting someone in a language they don't understand. I just wish i could sink to a new low like that. I mean it would be amazing if I could like insult everyone in Punjabi if i were losing a battle of wits. Haih... God was cruel. He gave me a working cerebral cortex. DUDE- what i dont know won't hurt me.. It only gives me a reason to blog about you and fuck you up even more:). i mean if you aren't witty with your comebacks, don't engage in a battle of wits. You don't see me challenging Kelvin to a GuitarHero Playoff, or Chong Bing to a Chopstick Rice Eating competition, or even Lenster to a 6 PACK pose down.. You dont mess with Sanjeet and his gab. Cause he'll make you just walk away with your cremastric reflex intact as your balls shrink in a shiver so cold your spine quivers.
Btw, Joon Heng isn't really depressed. I just teased him because he always worries in life. Just like Ben Luke isn't Manic Obsessive Compulsive, but he's always in a rush to do something. Its just an exaggeration. TO THE MAJORITY of you who say, don't la, they're sensitive:) thanks for being the good pro-bono solicitors of the nation. what would we do without you. Gosh. Look, if anyone has an issue, they can bring it up to me. they don't need no messenger. I am not some ghastly being in which a medium is needed to c0mmunicate with me, but i do appreciate the sovereign nature in which I am exalted. Yes, lets inform others to tell him because he's The Sanguine Prodigy, He might insult our faces off. NO.....
lol

And to the one leaving for Singapore. The prayer for my loneliness, and the cinnamon in my cake, I hope you have a safe journey. It was ironic we met today, and yet just holding your hands and staring into your eyes said the world to me. Anthony remarked about the emotions that ran thru me. I guess somethings are better poured out and not kept in within. You shall be adored from afar, and missed deep inside :)

a humble appeal

2008-11-16T06:36:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers

I have recently lost my pendrive in LT 2 during one of the practice sessions for the Diwali Night.

One of the properties of plastic is that it doesn't evaporate as a solid and as it is not there now, I can only assume someone has taken it.

I therefore humbly appeal that you return it whoever you are.

It is a black Kingston pendrive with a black and green APACER lanyard. It has a 4 gb capacity and contains all my short notes for CNS. It also contains 3 episodes of house, my pbls and 12 medical books that I had recently downloaded, along with songs for diwali night.

I am appealing that you return the pendrive or at least the files inside it. Please burn the files into a DVD and place it in my mailbox in vista komanwel B-24-5.

If you feel like returning it, please do contact me or anyone in M206

Thank you,

Sanjeet Singh (M0608136)

A last request

2008-11-05T07:23:00.000-08:00

Dear batchmates (M206)

It has been a long arduous journey, this medical course in IMU. When i first came, i couldn't wait to leave, and now that i am leaving, the nostalgia (no chongbing pls not again) of what has been an interesting journey tends to draw my attention. Yes i will miss IMU, and her constant mood swings as her entrances change every semester, and our Lecture times are never standardized.

But as the curtain draws close, there is but one big occasion left. It is with great pride that I say I am a member of an M2 batch.. and M206 is just the finest M2 batch in my personal opinion. As I remember in Diwali night semester 1, many batchmates cheered us on as I remember the rapturous applause that was deafening to my ears. (neither sensory neural nor conduction). and a repeat performance was present last year. It was a truly emotional moment for me as I was committed to a dance and the drama, only to find out my paternal grandmother had passed away just 2 days before the diwali night.

(thank to sengchye and IMU for the next pic)

One year on, and in possibly our final diwali night, and occasion as IMU students, i urge you all, fellow batchmates to join us for the diwali night on nov 14. I understand it is a big ask, but let me personally entertain you guys as i play the comical role of an overprotective dad in a drama i co wrote. also we will be performing the bhangra, with Mandeep and Harkeerat among those involved.

I humbly ask of you people to join us, and i know the organisers and people behind the diwali night are probably not the best lobbyists but i urge each and every one to come as a favour to me. I shall be indebted to you all.

thank you

and i Hope to see you there...

Sanjeet

aut viam inveniam aut faciam ( I'll either find a way or make one )

2008-11-03T14:19:00.000-08:00

Dance of Death by Steve Harris & Janick Gers

Let me tell you a story to chill the bones
About a thing that I saw
One night wandering in the everglades
I'd one drink but no more

I was rambling, enjoying the bright moonlight
Gazing up at the stars
Not aware of a presence so near to me
Watching my every move

Feeling scared and I fell to my knees
As something rushed me from the trees
Took me to an unholy place
And that is where I fell from grace

Then they summoned me over to join in with them
To the dance of the dead
Into the circle of fire I followed them
Into the middle I was led

As if time had stopped still I was numb with fear
But still I wanted to go
And the blaze of the fire did no hurt upon me
As I walked onto the coals

And I felt I was in a trance
And my spirit was lifted from me
And if only someone had the chance
To witness what happened to me

And I danced and I tranced and I sang with them
All had death in their eyes
Lifeless figures they were undead all of them
They had ascended from hell

As I danced with the dead
My free spirit was laughing and howling down at me
Below my undead body
Just danced the circle of dead

Until the time came to reunite us both
My spirit came back down to me
I didn't know if I was alive or dead
As the others all joined in with me

By luck then a skirmish started
And took the attention away from me
When they took their gaze from me
Was the moment that I fled

I ran like hell faster than the wind
But behind I did not glance
One thing that I did not dare
Was to look just straight ahead

When you know that your time has come around
You know you'll be prepared for it
Say your last goodbyes to everyone
Drink and say a prayer for it

When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead
When you're lying in your sleep, when you're lying in your bed
And you wake from your dreams to go dancing with the dead

To this day I guess I'll never know
Just why they let me go
But I'll never go dancing no more
'Till I dance with the dead

Not that my post has anything to do with the above, but I happened to be listening to it as i was typing this post..

Amidst the chaotic nature of my week, and no there is no ''oh shit i didn't study this week'' in this story. Chaos in my life involves actual things that matter rather than the reflection of some lecture notes that seem to have engulfed the minds of many people i meet today. A very appropriate Latin saying follows -

parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus

Mountains will be in labour, and an ridiculous mouse will be born
(all that work and nothing to show for it)

No offence to those who work hard, its just i applaud the effort, because i could never sit down and stare at some guided words whilst repeating them to myself continuously for the next hour or so. Anthony for one has always accused me of being like many others, the type that deny studying, whereas he forgets that i actually take pride in studying when I do. But then again, a wayward young soul like him would not understand. At this point in time, there is so much more to look at.

As i embrace my very own secret garden, I'll let the butterfly of my choice in. I shall lay the most awe-striking flowers in her path and gently caress her wings as I choose to ignore the brightly coloured petals of the flora around me. Instead I choose to embed the sight of her wings, the symmetrical colours and arrangements that will be imprinted in my cortex as I embark on newer frontiers in the land of the Highlander. But in this secret garden, she'll always have a presence in my life, my comfort zone, my zen.

One person commented my posts were getting too emotional and at points too metaphorical to understand, and my personal reply to you is that it serves as a morse code, on which everyone will read and have some understanding of, but only she will know exactly what it means. As Jimi Hendrix's The Wind Cries Mary plays on my iTunes, i take a step back to think about the smaller things in life that matter to me. A slice of Gion Kyoto bread, Some pitted prunes by my side, A bag of black-currants in my fridge and Ronnie James Dio nibbling the cage and trying to find a way out.

Yes today i reflect on myself and I think who the hell am I kidding. I'm a lil annoyed with a few people. Mainly this joker that wears white headphones and walks with his nuts pressing against his Wrangler's. Phoney, Samsung MP3 Players don't require Ipod Headphones to work man. and most of all, buy yourself a new pair of pants. Pull them up to your waist, cos we all hate men without asses. Last but not least, if you're a fucking sissy, then stop using your bearded chin as in involucrum to cover the sequestrum that is your detrimental self esteem.

1 down. I took a pot shot at a loudmouth today. Brainless loudmouth always seeks strength in numbers of his feeble counterparts. A pack of rats can bring down even an elephant they say. Well he managed to anger the Emu, but the Lion roars strong. As the Panther mentioned, he vocabulary was exhausted before I even got my boxing gloves on. So he left with a frown typical of one who admits defeat. To the 21 year old Emu, I got your back, don't you worry. If its a battle of wits they want, then bring on the gauntlet and watch Connor Macleod demonstrate how the flight or fight response works. I fight, you flight. And there are no 2 ways about it.

I have spoken, and my ego is now at rest.

''I am immortal.i have inside me blood of kings. I have no rival.no man can be my equal. Take me to the future of your world.'' - Freddie Mercury ( who later died of AIDS)

Deglorification of the dogs

2008-10-23T11:06:00.000-07:00

Follow these steps to try n read the picture above. It's quite interesting

It should say you lost the game.

Hold the picture up to your nose and relax your focus.
Your eyes should be focused afar. Do not try to focus on the picture.
Slowly pull the picture away from your face, while still maintaining a distant focus.
Allow the picture to come into focus.
Repeat 1-4 until this works.

An uncanny title was chosen as I got a comment from someone. She said I lack sophistication and I seem very 'roadside' (behave like an illiterate) but when I write, i convey a different side of me. And with no malice intended to this person whatsoever, I wish to say, who in hell are you to judge my character.

Voodoo Child - As I stand up next to a mountain I chop it down with the edge of my hand...

Sanguine (those of you reading the online dictionary, i'm referring to the alternate meaning)- one who views life from a humourous point of view in any situation

Prodigy- one with immaculate talent and potential

And an age old saying goes, those who can do, those who can't teach. Some of us prefer to behave like the roaddwellers that you ostracize- God knows what they ever did to you. I do believe that there are many pseudosophisticated men and women alike that play the air of sophistication like this girl and live alight, sipping wine and commenting on the distinctive taste of the fine oak barrel it was fermented in as well as the slim neck of the glass it is kept in, not knowing that the shadow holds and the substance fades. Pseudo men, ah yes, the ones that wear Ipod's to appreciate hip-hop and R & B music, because we all know that base is heavy in headphones.

Lets set the record straight, your headphones, the minute white ones that come with your Ipod are meant for sharp higher pitched treble sounds, in which a screeching sound of a vocalist or the complicated solo's of Fear of the Dark by Iron Maiden can be appreciated. Now please don't be a bonehead and blast hip hop tunes on them and sing it aloud. God save us from the era of stupifying individuals. The sheer lack of common sense would make Thomas Payne turn in his coffin as we embrace stupidity's arrival. My 20 cents worth, grab yourselves an old fashioned boom box, the type that has a cracking base, so you can put it beside you and feel the vibrations on you laps. Not in your ears mind you. So unless its jazz, metal, rock, pops or any other genre, please do not use an Ipod, or any other MP3 player for that matter. DJ's use the larger headphones (similar to Seng Chye's Sennheiser ones) that come equipped with its own base.

Let me continue with the deglorifying process. So next we go on to dressing up. Anyone who knows me well enough, knows that shorts and a T-shirt is a regular get up for almost anything. Now this same person who commented, also pointed out that on a movie with her group of friends, I chose to wear shorts and so I gave them a bad impression. I apologize for the feebleness of your school of thought. ah yes, simplicity. For guys, the length of your clothing garments below the waist resemble your IQ. why didn't i think of it. And OMG if you wear sandals instead of shoes, your brain seeps out from the bottom. Don't you dare rebel against being norm! Make sure you wear FUBU jeans and a football jersey or a t shirt that says Adidas or NIKE. NO NOT PUMA.

I once again apologize to this person for making a mockery of her school of thought, but really, those of us who have brighter minds choose to live and let live. If I behave like a vagabond by the streets when I'm with my friends, so be it. Please don't attempt to pass the verdict of ''childishness'', ''immature'' and others. I never make any comments when you say ''Chunted'', or ''wahlaowei'' or ''maaFarn la''.

and finally, remember that sophistication is not proportional to the way I carry myself when I'm with you. Rather its the way I mingle with your pseudosophisticated bunch, and still come out of it, to chastise you on my blog, in a way that you shall not understand. I know your vocabulary is as infinite as the volume capacity of a tequila shot glass, so I shall leave the link of the online dictionary here (www.dictionary.com).

And I pointed something out to Chong Bing, on monday, regarding the theme of my blog.

Fear of the dark.

''I am a man who walks alone, and I when walking a dark road, at night or strolling thru the park''

"The unknown troubles your mind, Maybe your mind is playing tricks, You sense and suddenly eyes fix on dancing shadows from behind''

I'll leave the interpretation to you:)

abusus non tollit usum

2008-10-17T14:18:00.000-07:00

I apologize on my tardiness, it has been awhile since my last post. I was busy mourning the demise of my old laptop, Ritchie Blackmore, who served me through 4 eventful years. Even on his deathbed, Ritchie Blackmore provided me hope that a big part of him could be salvaged, and so it was:) Taking his place would be Saul Hudson, a newer much more advanced looking dude, but with the same passion for his work. Anyway, I sent out a mail to 6 different people requesting their take on a song that had stuck in my mind for quite some time now. I know certain people may call this another emo post, but as they say, if rock is poetry, rockers were in the age of the romantics. Ah yes, ballads, like Still Loving You by Scorpions and Always by Bon Jovi pay tribute to what I mean. It is almost impossible to not bust a vein and see images of that one person whose every strand of hair is visible to you because you cherish every perfect inch of her, each time you blink. I for one feel that lyricists these days have lost that passion that made you feel you were right there singing that song to that person. It felt like a phoenix had laid a flaming egg in your laps as it slowly burnt your flesh away, but pain was but a feeling, and one that wasn't deep enough to invoke a response as your mind had caught the gaze of a ''butterfly'' perched on a rose. Serenity and beauty embedded in the deepest and strongest of emotions, intertwined with anger and sheer tenacity, to provide you a ballad that once played daily on national radio. Back to the purpose of my post, i sent a song called Nymphetamine to 6 different people to get their insights on what it probably meant to them, and i got none back! But one particular person told me to inform her once i put my anthology online. Initially i felt this song was just about a wild erotic sexual fantasy of Dani Filth along with a few syringes of stimulants to keep him potent throughout the ordeal. But, I chose to take a best case scenario. Now I know the person I'm implying in this song is going to read this, I hope you love it. Nymphetamine is a portmanteau, a crossbreed of 2 words, Nymph and amphetamine. Now someone told me it was a cross between a nymphomaniac and amphetamine as stated in wikipedia, but like I said, this is my take on this song. Nymph, the luscious daughters of Poseiden, blessed with beauty so astounding, Poseiden himself was said to have fallen in love with them. Remaining faithful to their father, the nymphs never left his vast oceans and thus like their mythical legendary beauty, the sands of time set upon their tales, putting their unfathomable beauty to rest. Amphetamine, a recreational drug, probably the best known drug in the modern era, the cheapest and by far the most potent hallucinogen possible for RM6 a pill. The reason for its widespread use, its cheap production cost and simple ingredients, which include ammonium nitrate- used in home made bombs as well as fertilizer. Together nymphetamine refers to a girl of beauty so astounding, she becomes and addiction that burns and dehydrates you to the point of death, without knowing it. My metaphors here should not be misconstrued, for it is the beholder that places this beauty in such high order, so much so she becomes to die for. Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved

A "V" of black swans
On with hope to the grave
And though Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones

- the first verse, sang by the angelic Liv Kristine draws attention to a person who saw a different side of this person. She moves to a river, in a day midsummer, where bad omens surrounded her as she approached her destination. The reference to black swans here is remarkable. A swan, arguably the most graceful animal to roam earth, a bird of renown beauty. A black swan, rare in comparison to the white swans, sharing the same magnitude of grace but a more mystified sense of beauty. Such beauty that only draws the staunchest of admirers. An animal constantly compared to its white counterpart, although its beauty is immense in its own unique way. She waits patiently for him, like a thorn, as it causes her immense pain as she waits, but a thorn from a holy one, one she has faith in, pain she's willing to bear.

Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain....
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again

He explains how he felt once curtains came between him and his dove, as he shunned the world, keeping to himself, a lover amidst an unforgiving world, weighing down upon him, forcing him to bend over.
And he unshackles himself from her grasps, and he laments that his passionate addiction for her shall stop, hence the reference to veins.

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key
- Here she tries to convince him that she is the answer, she is the ''prayer for his loneliness'' she is his antidote, and she begs him to once again passionately love her. There is a hint of eroticism here, for I feel that the right slot and sacred key refer to conjugal tools. However a smaller part of me wishes to believe that there is a double meaning to it, she feels that she has the strengths to lift him from his lowliness as well as say and do what he needs to hear and feel. She wishes to remind him to turn back the clock to feel the passion that engulfs them in a forbidden past to which many references are made.

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision

Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine

Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission

None better...
Nymphetamine
- above is the chorus. Probably the most telling part of the song. 6 ft deep, would refer to death, and the incision would signify a person who practices self mutilation. He has killed himself inside, emotionally void of feelings, a painful untimely death, leaving his physical aspect a walking carcass that rots by the day.

and in his heart he feels he is trapped, for deep down inside, there is but a love he cannot deny. There is but a feeling he cannot leave behind, and try as he may, the multitude of feelings he still has for her is worthy of admiration. Discolours all with tunnel vision- i've always told this one person that she doesn't just put a smile to my face, but she adds colours to my dull colourless world, she is the sugar to my tea, and she is who she is because when I am with her, the Garden of Eden is once again the setting for our lives. Tunnel vision, darkness in all aspects apart from what lies in front. To Concentrate solely on her, and to not take heed of the rest of the world. I once told her, that she is beautiful because when she is in my gaze, the rest of the world blends into the background and my starry eyes only pay homage to her visage and nothing else.

Sunsetter, a harbringer of darkness, one who takes away all happiness- this said in utter bitterness. He is powerless as a result of this, a deep sense of hopelessness and restlessness. Yet it is only to her he place homage, as he offers himself to her. He admits that at times he feels that the sole purpose he lives is to be submissive to her every demand as his love is so boundless.

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.

Wicked with your charm
I'm circled like prey
Back in the forest
Were whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt...
(keeping Sodom at at bay)
- a whispering voice sings this verse, of how he harbours ill thoughts of her, and he is lost in these thoughts- back in the forest- and at the same time he recalls sweeter memories that she provided, and this outshone the ill-thoughts of her. trails of sugar that outweighed pillars of salt, such was the sincerity of his love to her.

Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days
-this verse, he calls for her back recalling their happier more memorable moments

Glistening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
-she explains that they complemented each other. Needle and spoon here are references to Intra venous drug usage, where crystalized meth is first melted in a spoon before intravenously administered. She explains how they make a good pair as they had so much incommon- that he probably never knew. I also believe that at this part she convinces him that she knows the spoon shieded the needle from the meth, as the syringe would likely melt in such heat. hence she acknowledges the burns that he encountered so she could get on with life.

Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above onto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your holiness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key

Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discoulours all with tunnel vision

Sunsetter...
Nymphetamine

Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, this vampyric addiction
To Her alone in full submission

None better...
Nymphetamine

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
Nymphetamine girl.

Nymphetamine, Nymphetamine...
My Nymphetamine girl.

And the song continues. A tragic tale of passion and love, from a lover who cannot express himself, to one who fails to understand what her guy goes through in his silence, that she
doesn't skip his mind not for an instant.

Anyway it's getting late, and to those 6 preferiti, please give me your inputs.
thank you.

A congressional medal of valor

2008-09-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

My previous post garnered a lot of attention but it kinda gave me the impression that I painted a story of a knight that slayed a dragon.

Well let me draw the line to what my intentions were. Someone pointed that my statements could incite a mutiny of some sort against my foe for the day, and in many ways that is not my aim.

It was solely a well described articled portrayed with the finest frame and hung in the brightest light.

It was merely a symbol of how a small discussion could've been resolved by a simple apology and an amiable discussion.

May I add i did offer my apologies for my vague and misleading choice of words but there was more to explain and hence the whole confrontation continued.

Being a senior in the university demands so much more than just enrolling earlier. its a matter of knowing where to draw the line, how to deal with issues and most of all knowing latent inhibition, ignoring things that matter less.
A senior is no mere person that agrees an allegiance to my cause and offering support in the shape of fists in case of another confrontation, but rather one that says wow, they reasoned it out.
Being smart is but a mere facade when actually meticulous reasoning and intellectual criticism is what deems a person to be intelligent. And maturity is not but the mere appearance of facial hair. It is about raising the bar on the tolerance scale and knowing that a turbulence in a flight is inevitable and asking for a compensation is down right silly.

If I have painted my foe to be a villain then i solely wish for you to reconsider for i have taken his stand. A lack of judgment on his behalf is no reason to crucify him nor alienate him for his actions. And no this article was not published under any duress but a mere reflection as a slight challenge in opinion occurred several minutes back by a fellow believer in Thomas More, the Renaissance and most importantly, Common sense - thomas payne:)

yes you did it again:)

because humans weren't meant to swim...

nanos gigantum humeris insidentes

2008-09-05T11:48:00.001-07:00

Disclaimer- I've been getting a lot of messages and emails regarding this post and how there is dissatisfaction at my vermin. But this article is not meant to portray him as a horned being. Rather it is meant to be an informative statement to everyone who is curious to know what had happened from my point of view. There is no intent of provocation and any alleged provocation shall be deemed as self inflicted and spineless. I have reasoned out why and how many of the occurrences and participants were involved and I have passed my humble opinion on each.

Standing on the shoulders of giants, that's my ploy today. Dare I say this would be the finest post on this blog since the Annie Tay one:)
Its a metaphor i apply meaning 'One who develops future intellectual pursuits by understanding the research and works created by notable thinkers of the past'
especially Francis Ford Coppola (The Godfather) and Sergio Leone(a fistful of dollars, The good the bad and the ugly, Once upon a time in the west, Once upon a time in america)

See after and interesting and enjoyable night, I rushed to class as usual.
Anthony then ditches Kelvin and I to go canoodling, so lets leave it there. Kelvin and I decide to attend the finale night- as they were serving free food. Also there was a need to see Cayman perform. ( i prefer this spelling of his name).

And whilst the performance, I was approached by 2 juniors. Namely Sri and another burly looking guy. He speaks very politely requesting an audience and I duly oblige. As we walk outside, I meet the fellow members of the clan to which I am escorted to the bus stop and offered a seat. Yes, till this point I am clueless of my impending future. Next thing I know, 4 other guys (all sem 2 jrs excluding Tharveen) approach me. Yes this is very much like the Raja Petra interrogation but lets just leave the analogy there. There is a girl with the bunch but she stays away, like a dame in the old spagetti western films that chooses to walk away.

Tharveen: hey you got a problem with me is it? What is it?
Sanjeet: err yeah. (though I always saw this as a mutual understanding that I found us on different planes of communication most of the time.)
Tharveen: What did you say to the junior (who happened to be his friend)?
Sanjeet: She asked if i knew you and i said yes, but i don't like you

At this point he had his fingers in my direction so I duly stood up and fingered back. Pointless i know, but I was trying to engage in the same plane of communication. So to this he asks me why did I have to say that. And I told him well, i dislike your demeanor. Now here is where I lost him. See demeanor delineates your behaviour, attitude, the way you carry yourself. What he interpreted of this I guess I shall never know. May I add that it was awfully rude of me to continuously smirk as the interrogation went on. Then came a collar grabbing scene. And i didn't oblige to grab his collar in the presence of his 5 onlooking henchmen. And in my amazement, his friends grabbed a hold of me and set him free. See it is a fundamental unwritten law that you put your dog on the leash and not the stray.

But lets keep going, after all fundamentals are only for the rest of the world. We're indians. Here comes the initiation. A mano-e-mano challenge was tossed. Well directly phrasing it was a "ONE on ONE", with 6 of his onlookers in a dark secluded area. I was reassured they would not interrupt as the fight would take place. Now at this point i started reasoning it out. the moment the fight breaks out of hand, its gonna be a 6 on 1 foot-stomping session. And the verdict would be Sanjeet got his ass kicked. I mean seriously, they didn't seem like the type that had that kinda integrity to let it be a fair deal. Plus if they were true to their words, when the scuffle broke out, they'd grab their guy and calm him down, not the stranger he was assailing. So I said how about we fight in a more public area, and at this point I am taunted by the burly guy. Why your parents raised you to be a daughter is it? We had a stare down. Now may i point it out its freaking silly to have a staredown with a person wearing spectacles because they dont get wind in their eyes and hence their eyes remain moist longer. but then again, these weren't neurosurgeons i was dealing with. so yeah it was quite clear who blinked.

I laughed at this point. And it occurred to me that it was rude to laugh when someone wants to pop a cap in your ass, but hey, 6-1 over an issue of my opinion in a fist fight. Of course the quick wit of me got to them. i said well at least I'm not an animal. to which Tharveen replies, i bet you got no cock. i bet you got a pussy. why don't you find a girl in chow kit n fuck her like a lesbian.
Now when someone says that to you, don't you feel like laughing all over. its game, set n match. the wit was lacking, and the desperation was setting in for my counterparts. I said anything you say man. And no offence to him, but he has a lisp, and i imitated that lisp childishly after which he grabbed my collar and pushed me away, and I duly reply by grabbing his collar and pushing him aside, to which his chain shatters. Yeah i know, childish to say ''nye nyeh nyey nye nye'' but for some reason some people still get annoyed by it LOL. And then I am taunted that he would break my specs. anyway, at this point he realises its a stalemate and the burly guy, who introduces himself as Karthik comes in. He pushes me and I duly push him back. Yes, I am a firm practitioner of Newtons 3rd law. And he says you're a pussy is it, and repeats it 4 times. I kid you not. he asks me why won't i fight privately, and i said how bout we do this public la. to which he claims i wanted that so people would come and SAVE ME, which whooshed past me. it was a no brainer but lets accept it for now. and i said,well if a fight breaks out in Uni, i'll get you guys expelled and I'll go on to be a surgeon while you guys rot:). to which they kinda realise they're not the WuTang CLan. anyway he compliments my metallica shirt and says i should fight cos im wearing MATTEL-ica. nope not metallica but mattelica.yes, i know, James Hetfield, i sincerely apologize for his lack of exposure to the outside world. its metallica- me(r)-tal-icka- not Mattelica and Metalheads unlike gangsta rappers are not malicious. If you have ever been in a Moshpit, YOU'd learn that although the moshing seems rough, if you're injured a fellow random metal head would pull u out of the mosh and offer you a drink. Yes metalheads are a very friendly close knit bunch that're misunderstood. We dont go around acting BAD like Hiphop R&B gangsta rapping 2pac wannabes. So he calls me a pussy and i reiterate well at least im not barbaric. and here comes the bombshell, YES I AM A BARBARIAN he says. at this point i could not help but notice how he kinda looked like Mark Henry from the WWE. I start giggling again. and he calls me a pussy AGAIN. SO i asked him if he's actually seen one, and he says of course. I felt like saying, i mean a proper one, not one in a book or on a porn video, but i just giggled again and i felt my phone vibrating. btw doesnt this look like a pussy?

At this point Kelvin calls to ask where i've gone and i said, im outside with tharveen. Kelvin assumes i'm busy bonding with them and raggin juniors and so he indirectly hinted he rather watched the performance. And then they ask me if he's coming to ''back me up''. and i said no, and he asks why, and i said cos he's busy watching a performance. at this point they ask me collectively don't you have friends in IMU?

This thought flashed my mind, well i do but well, we've got better things to do then engage in petty schoolboy/barbaric arguments. but i smiled and said'' apparently no. well at least none like yours''. and they get annoyed at this point, dei dont be sarcastic ah. dei dont be sarcastic ah. to which i reply ''so its ok for you to raise your voice but being sarcastic is forbidden''.

Thanks for the pic Sarah!!

Tharveen replies, ''i shout you shout back la''. i giggled again. lol. this was fucking hilarious. i kinda get where he was coming from. see his point of view was, you fight fire with fire. not douse it with water. but well, like i said it was a 6-1 battle of wits and it was quite clear where the honours was going. and karthik for some reason wants to fight with me now. Damn they love me. And they were mumbling some stuff in tamil and i duly ignore. And they were about to say something when my phone vibrated. so i said wait up i got a msg. Ray asked me if we were repeating our actions of the night before and i started giggling. talk about timing. and i said nope. and we got on with the interrogation. by this time i was about to walk away when Sri closed the exit. Karthik blows smoke in my face not realising that we do it all the time during shisha sessions and have a great laugh and so i smile. he asks me why im shaking, to which i draw my hand out and say, look, steady as a surgeon's hands. LOL the surgeon-talk really got to them. I was anticipating an ''offer i could not refuse''. ( The Godfather)

I also informed them that unlike them i was one of the better students in my batch. I missed this point out but somewhere during our intellectually degrading debate, tharveen cites the reason i dislike him as 'Because your batch is not as HAPPENING as mine'. Right. the egoistic, self centered comment of an M1 student. but lets not generalise this. The trashing their batch got during the previous and current IMU cup supersedes this. Also the record breaking no of failures in their batch. but well, they're more happening than M206 in his eyes cos--- err because? yeah this flies by me and i giggle as well and say yeah right with a smirk that only Sanjeet can deliver.
AND while i loathed in my intellectual brilliance and academic perfection, I sensed they were bored of me showing off my credentials and they said look here, next time someone asks if you know tharveen, just say no.

To which i said nope. I'll just say yes but we dont get along. and it was fine. I offered to shake on the deal, but i guess my seemingly un-manly pussylike gesture of shaking on deal was turned down because he says we dont do this. right, self proclaimed barbarians. anyway, it bugged me so i asked how was saying yes but i dont like him any different from yes but we dont get along. To the average individual, this was a clear similarity but well, lets face it, its not exactly the same and so they argued that. LOL, and at this point i giggle again. I'd be quite annoyed if i were them, i mean you bring some smart alec who outwits 6 of you, and giggles while you're scolding him. damn. oh yeah, before that, Karthik takes a cheap swipe, which i construed to be a slap and so i duly reply. And then his other mates refrain him and put him on the seat. Sri meanwhile comes and says you call that a slap, you must be a pussy. Right, 6 Vs 1, in a dark secluded area, and i reply every remark with a smirk, every physical provocation with a physical provocation, but I'm a pussy. Yeah, i kinda like his logic. but well he's in Sem 3, he's got a long way to mature. Mind you he is a fellow JPA scholar. I know, it saddens me too. but anyway, so yeah, at this point we reached a settlement and I stick around to in my own words catch up with my Juniors. This infuriates them even more and Tharveen decides to get a survey. he asks his other juniors if they like me. this one dude, Sanjay dev Singh (yeah, a punjabi) says nope enthusiastically. And he's quite stout so its kinda hilarious but i just play him the stare. another guy who has a resounding resemblance to Denish from M206 only skinnier (who i later find out is named Jay) also says no. They hate possibly the most intelligent INDIAN BOY in IMU, darn. And Sri the peacemaker tells me to leave now before 'anything happens'.

Now why did i want a public audience you guys ask, well to display my wit. See if a crowd was there to witness the quickfire that outwitted 6 juniors, i would be exalted by now. but its a case of has-beens and this post serves as an honest opinionated commentary. I walked back into imu n informed kelvin.

This is classic, Kelvin says why din you tell me. ARggh I missed the fun. this is schoolboy stuff la. the pack of six then reenter the atrium to which i greet them and start irritating them, asking Sanjay if he has had his meal, in Punjabi to which he nods his head and just to be fair to karthik, i translated it for him to ensure he wasn't offended or anything. he smiles back, the storm has calmed it seems. then Kelvin asks tharveen what happened and he says your friend has a big mouth la. LOL, he got a first hand demonstration la. anyway, Kelvin says its such a small issue that was blown out of proportion. anyway Sri then comes n adds in, well Sanjeet din call you cos he said you wouldn't come. Now at this point i reassured my initial belief. that this guy lacks integrity. See if i had witnesses to back me up this wouldnt be the case. but i had clearly told them he's busy watching the performance, i do not wanna waste his time. and that was it. but yeah, i like this guy Sri. JPA dude apparently by merit (although i have my suspicions). Cos i remember when he failed his EOS 1, and came to me asking me for help, i sat there and gave him many pointers on what they may ask. And this Judas turns around and nips his nose where it doesn't belong, in his shoes any right man would've said, look i know u, i know tharveen, i feel ur in the wrong but you guys settle this yourselves. Not gang up 6 v 1 and call me a coward for agreeing to fight mano e mano but only in a public place with the watchful eyes of everyone in IMU. In all honesty, I actually thought it was plain dumb luck he failed and that he had potential. I kinda see the lack of basic impulse transmission to the cerebral cortex at this moment. Haih, if only Caporegime Clamenza was here to do justice to this whole situation.

about tharveen, well, fair to say la, although his demeanor was childish, and his methods were less convincing, he planned this all quite well from the escort to the bus stop till the settlement. though if he had came and said, Sanjeet, i dont like you, you dont like me, but i dislike the fact that you said this to a junior. she happens to be my friend and i dont want to give her a negative impression on me. I would've shook on it and say Ok thats fair, im sorry:) simple. but yeah, the drama. typically indian. the other juniors, jay, sanjay and raj( whose names i found out while exiting) i mean they all know my name, so its only fair i attempt to know theirs. Credit to them. after all they stuck behind tharveen although oblivious to the issue at hand. I recall being in those positions back in school, joining a group knowing there is an issue, but not what the issue is about. But yeah, they were polite in their demeanor so kudos to them. To Karthik, well, as burly and barbaric as he is, i guess deep down he just wanted to help an ailing friend out. To be fair to him, he did smile about it later in the atrium so he's ok. Sri, well this guy has kinda left a blemish on the good name of Indian JPA scholars, and rest assured i shall remember him in the event that he requires any more assistance in an impending exam. After all, I am a fair adjudicator of integrity, i did apologize to the person i offended in my blog.

To those involved, like Kelvin, sorry i din call you down la.
Seng Chye offered his respect and reassurance that he knew i could take them all in a verbal battle of wits hands down.
To Chong Bing, you missed out
To Anthony, for some reason Tharveen sees you as the mutual party here and wanted you present during the argument. you ditched us man. What ever happened to bro's over ho's( lol he used tat when i botched a CS game to talk to someone)

I kinda get why so many races look down on Indians. at times i feel like agreeing with Pei Shern on her racist, exaggerated remarks on us but well, judging by the display today, i guess at some point it was vindicated. So i apologize to the other races. i know at times you feel like cropdusting us away:)

To Ray, who was later informed of the scenario, thanks for the backup offer along with pei shern. yes, it would've been nice if you guys were there but i think it panned out quite well this one.
to the girl who told tharveen i didn't like him, no hard feelings, I bet you feel '' yes, but we don't get along'' and ''yes, but i dont like him'' are very similar
anyway, i would like to thank Ennio Morricone for the Soundtrack for The good, the bad and the ugly.

Many times during the argument, i kept picturing myself as Clint Eastwood taking on a whole bunch of thugs from the Good, the Bad and the Ugly, and this compilation was ringing in my head. Yes Clint was called Blondie in this movie, and I was called Pussy:) interesting right?? Anyway do leave your comments on what you guys would've done in my shoes?

WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE, REMEMBER

Do you know tharveen???

Yes, but WE DON'T GET ALONG..

Remember this statement!

Quote for the day;

Veritas vos Liberabit. "Seek Justice, seek Truth, and you will live to think differently." ~Patrick Henry

Randomness

2008-08-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

And the best of all..the YAAFM series.. YOU ARE A FUCKING MORON!!
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson part 2
Fred Durst
Seigfried & Roy
President Bush (George W)
Courtney Love (Cobain's Widow)
Micheal Jackson
Britney Spears
Micheal Moore
50 cent
Scientology

and this is for all the bored guys (and girls...actually more girls i feel)

Ballads

2008-08-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

Many of you may not recognize this incarnation of infinite beauty as she plants a gaze into the welcoming thoughts in our minds. She is indeed beauty personified. Not the subjective beauty as in sweet pretty, bitch pretty, tall pretty, sexy pretty, hot pretty. She is drop dead gorgeous all round. From her sweet brown hair, to her jade green eyes, to her sensual smile to her perfect tone.

But why the infatuation out of a sudden person unbeknown to many of the readers here. After all, isn't Sanjeet the pragmatic realist?

But gaze again at those eyes. It was in 1996 when i first set eyes on her, but ironically it had nothing to do with the playboy magazines, or vogue covers, or victoria secret photoshoots. it was a song that still makes my heart pound, the same way the air around a tuning fork vibrates. November Rain. Traxx FM played this song last night as I was driving and my juvenile love affair with my aphrodite reeled in and like most cherished memories, everything was as ''clear as a bright blue sky"- Sweet Child O'Mine by GNR, the same band that did November Rain.

November rain is a ballad that starts with Axl Rose, the man who I always wanted to emulate, waking up from a dream, one that seems to wake him up continuously on countless occasions. The hollow wind blowing further personifies his emptiness as it was joy short lived for "nothing lasts forever in this cold November Rain''. A grand orchestra is then playing in an opera house and a few metalheads with classic headbanger hairdos pop up. But what ensues is a child that tosses petals of flowers into the path of a bride and in walks Stephanie Seymour, who was at that time the love of Axl Rose. What ensues is nothing spectacular. But when Slash is proded for the ring, he snaps out of a gaze, and then looks lost. He later accepts the ring from Mckagan and leaves it on the Bible before leaving the Church and plays a Solo. I never quite understood this part of the video but hang in there with me. There are several flash backs into the Seymour-Rose relationships and few nights at the pub. All goes well during the reception and suddenly it starts raining and chaos unfolds. Symbolically, the wedding cake is taken down, and a bottle of wine is left to pour its contents. Wine, symbolic for the Blood of Christ, hence metaphorically referring to blood, death rather. And what happens next had me puzzled. But on looking at the video again, i realise that in her coffin, only half her face is shown and the other half mirrored. The beauty of Seymour is that she has uneven eyes, which was absent in the coffin. Mirrors were used for suicides as the impact of the shot normally severely damages the face, and the heat from the barrel scalds the skin as suicide is normally commited from point blank range, and so her beauty is apparently still in tact in the video or the eyes of many. After this point comes the most heartthrobbing solo ever played along with the most stinging lyrics when you're down and alone. It is not the lyrics but rather the manner that it is sung with the solo reverberating down your spine and it repeats. And the tragic tossing of the bouquet signifies the end of a masterpiece.

I never understood the video fully until I watched this other video, probably my 2nd most fav GNR song ever, Don't cry.

To begin with, the song is introduced with the exact same fonts as the previous song, and the baby, has a slight squint, and deep blue eyes. So detailed and blatant were the clues. (this was Axl) It shows Axl Rose walking through a snowstorm, barely being able to walk on, Alone. shiverring, with the same bottle of Scotch as from November rain on his bedside table. In his left hand is a revolver. The cutscene shows him walking out on someone, and it later confirms him physically abusing the beautiful Stephanie Seymour once again. Her head smashes against a coat hanger and it shows the revolver in her hands. Not long later it shows Axl and her in a flashback picnic. There seems to be a missing spark in their relationship as there is a degree of hostility sensed. He see's her in the black limosine dressed in black, with black sunglasses (which signifies the dress code if you may, of a widow bereaving on her way back from a funeral). This premonition is further explained by a cutscene of a lady drowning him by hugging his right lower limb and keeping him drowned sufficiently. He struggles to stay afloat as the ripples in the water give testament to. at about 1:13, a sign saying ''Where's Izzy?" suddenly appears - questioining the decision of Izzy Stradlin to quit the band suddenly as he didn't fancy touring- and was replaced by Gilby Clarke- from Supernova as we all know. "Don't you cry tonight, there's a heaven above you baby"- Axl tries to convince his wife that in the event that he dies he shall still watch over her from the heavens above. It appears wishy washy at this point. But I shall explain at the end of it all. In the next scene, Stephanie Seymour meets Axl who is with a blonde, whom she suddenly attacks. She then appears at home, and the video of GNR performing is in the background.

Next scene is one of Slash driving wildly with a girl- presumably his girlfriend or some sort. Their car later plunges off a cliff and explodes. Slash is seen later strumming up another solo. Slash was once in love had intentions of marrying her. And having caused her death, this image played on and on in his mind, even thru the wedding, so much so he forgot where he kept the wedding. It was too much to bear and hence he left the church as it served a constant reminder of what could have been had she not died. The following scenes show a mentally debilitated Axl Rose undergoing therapy for an unknown psychiatrict condition Alone.
He later recalls many collages of memories and finally it shows a man that resembles Axl visiting his own gravestone (AXL ROSE). It shows a mentally debilitated Axl releasing a dove to the heavens in tribute to her and finally a baby that bears green eyes.

Now for the linking factors.
Axl Rose and Slash and the rest of the band are rockstars in this video. and Axl Rose gets married to the love of his life as shown by the NR video. He is affluent as the wedding is lavish. However the pressures of life get to him and he contemplates suicide. Slash on the other hand experimented with substances which eventually killed his love. And this leaves him in a daze and at times lost, constantly blaming himself and choosing to be alone when he feels down and low, as he shows in the Solo outside the church. He is the only one without a partner in the NR video during the Pub outings prior to the wedding. On several attempts Axl tries to commit suicide but Stephanie stops him. Many a times he has contemplated this as the thoughts about him drowning shows. He tries to go to the heavens above, but she holds him down and struggle as he may, he cannot go up. He has informed her he intends to die. She then decides to take her own life to prove a point to him using the same revolver he used, which results in him having sleepless nights- a drinking binge(the bottle on the bedside) and subsequently a nervous breakdown. To end it all off, someone that takes the baby out and he has green eyes, signifying it was their child, and she bore him. Axl couldn't take the death of Stephanie.

In many ways both the music videos complement each other and they made little sense apart. Ironic that death came from a revolver as she has a mirrored face during her funeral. The band is Called Gun's and roses and hence the revolver was a coy and the rose referred to the 2 women that perished along the way. in the case of Axl, from the white rose, to the ones on the coffin at her funeral. Slash later forms a band called Velvet REVOLVERS- just a coincidance? i dont think so. GNR spend a total of USD$3 million for these 2 videos which have extravagant cinematography. its no mere coincidence. Axl Rose had written and performed November rain on his piano in 1983, 4 years before the band even formed.

To top it off, while i was driving, With or without you by U2 played in the car. The one song that'll bring tears to your eyes if it meant something. with the heavy baseline and deterimined vocals. The song for the one that was not meant to be. :)On a bed of nails she makes me wait, and I wait without you......

I guess the trip down memory lane was one of those that incorporated nostalgia and a whole lot of emotions together. I'm a tad bit emotional today so I didn't make too many corny pictures.

Why trance doesn't go to well when all the other people in the house dislike it:)

2008-08-01T13:35:00.005-07:00

The greatest ever video captured on a digital camera.

A lot of credit has to go to Kelvin for helping distract Anthony while I placed the camera in position as Anthony was camera shy:)

To Anthony, this is to the 2 hours of crap trance music by some dude called Van Buuren or shit- Burn now :)

This is Bloodhound Gang- not exactly trance, but it has a tune that you can boogie to:)

Driving in Malaysia

2008-08-01T10:53:00.000-07:00

Written by a foreigner residing here. A funny read, humurous but a bit lengthy. David Astley, a British/Ozzie guy!! now living in KL

A guide for expatriate drivers in Malaysia

Since arriving in Malaysia in 1997, I have tried on many occasions to buy a copy of the Malaysian road rules, but have come to the conclusion that no such publication exists (or if it does, it has been out of print for years). Therefore after carefully observing the driving habits of Malaysian drivers, I believe I have at last worked out the rules of the road in Malaysia. For the benefit of other expatriates living in Malaysia, and the 50% of local drivers who acquired their driving licences without taking a driving test, I am pleased to share my knowledge below:

Q: What is the most important rule of the road in Malaysia?
A: The most important rule is that you must arrive at your destination ahead of the car in front of you. This is the sacrosanct rule of driving in Malaysia. All other rules are subservient to this rule.

Q: What side of the road should you drive on in Malaysia?
A: 99.7% of cars drive on the left hand side, 0.2% on the right hand side, and 0.1% drive in reverse (be on the look out for drivers reversing at high speed in the left hand lane of freeways, having just missed their exit). Therefore on the basis of 'majority rules', it is recommended that you drive on the left. However, be aware that only 90% of motorcyclists travel on the left hand side - the other 10% ride in the opposite direction or on the sidewalk. Fortunately, motorcyclists traveling in reverse are rarely seen.

Q: What are the white lines on the roads?
A: These are known as lane markers and were used by the British in the colonial days to help them drive straight. Today their purpose is mainly decorative, although a double white line is used to indicate a place that is popular to overtake.

Q: When can I use the emergency lane?
A: You can use the emergency lane for any emergency, e.g. you are late for work, you left the toaster plugged in at home, you are bursting to go to the toilet, you have a toothache or you have just dropped your Starbucks coffee in your lap. As it is an emergency, you may drive at twice the speed of the other cars on the road.

Q: Do traffic lights have the same meaning as in other countries?
A: Not quite. Green is the same - that means 'Go', but amber and red are different. Amber means 'Go like hell' and red means 'Stop if there is traffic coming in the other direction or if there is a policeman on the corner'. Otherwise red means the same as green. Note that for buses, red lights do not take effect until five seconds after the light has changed.

Q: What does the sign 'Jalan Sehala' mean?
A: This means 'One Way Street' and indicates a street where the traffic is required to travel in one direction. The arrow on the sign indicates the preferred direction of the traffic flow, but is not compulsory. If the traffic is not flowing in the direction in which you wish to travel, then reversing in that direction is the best option.

Q: What does the sign 'Berhenti' mean?
A: This means 'Stop', and is used to indicate a junction where there is a possibility that you may have to stop if you cannot fool the cars on the road that you are entering into thinking that you are not going to stop.

Q: What does the sign 'Beri Laluan' mean?
A: This means 'Give Way', and is used to indicate a junction where the cars on the road that you are entering will give way to you provided you avoid all eye contact with them and you can fool them into thinking that you have not seen them.

Q: What does the sign 'Dilarang Masuk' mean?
A: This means 'No Entry'. However, when used on exit ramps in multi-storey car parks, it has an alternative meaning which is: 'Short cut to the next level up'.

Q: What does the sign 'Pandu Cermat' mean?
A: This means 'Drive Smartly', and is placed along highways to remind drivers that they should never leave more than one car length between them and the car in front, irrespective of what speed they are driving. This is to ensure that other cars cannot cut in front of you and thus prevent you from achieving the primary objective of driving in Malaysia, and that is to arrive ahead of the car in front of you. If you can see the rear number plate of the car in front of you, then you are not driving close enough.

Q: What is the speed limit in Malaysia?
A: The concept of a speed limit is unknown in Malaysia.

Q: So what are the round signs on the highways with the numbers, 60, 80 and 110?
A: This is the amount of the 'on-the-spot' fine (in ringgits - the local currency) that you have to pay to the police if you are stopped on that stretch of the highway. Note that for expatriates or locals driving Mercedes or BMWs, the on-the-spot fine is double the amount shown on the sign.

Q: Where do you pay the 'on-the-spot' fine?
A: As the name suggests, you pay it 'on-the-spot' to the policeman who has stopped you. You will be asked to place your driving licence on the policeman's notebook that he will hand to you through the window of your car. You will note that there is a spot on the cover of the notebook. Neatly fold the amount of your fine into four, place the fine on the spot, and then cover it with your driving licence so that it cannot be seen. Pass it carefully to the policeman. Then, with a David Copperfield movement of his hands, he will make your money disappear. It is not necessary to applaud.

Q: But isn't this a bribe?
A: Oh pleeease, go and wash your mouth out. What do you want? A traffic ticket? Yes, you can request one of those instead, but it will cost you twice the price, forms to fill out, cheques to write, envelopes to mail, and then three months later when you are advised that your fine was never received, more forms to fill out, a trip to the police station, a trip to the bank, a trip back to the police station, and maybe then you will wish you had paid 'on-the-spot'.

Q: But what if I haven't broken any road rules?
A: It is not common practice in Malaysia to stop motorists for breaking road rules (because nobody is really sure what they are). The most common reasons for being stopped are: (a) the policeman is hungry and would like you to buy him lunch; (b) the policeman has run out of petrol and needs some money to get back to the station; (c) you look like a generous person who would like to make a donation to the police welfare fund; or (d) you are driving an expensive car which means you can afford to make a donation to the police welfare fund.

Q: Does my car require a roadworthy certificate before I can drive it in Malaysia?
A: No, roadworthy certificates are not required in Malaysia. However there are certain other statutory requirements that must be fulfilled before your car can be driven in Malaysia. Firstly, you must ensure that your windscreen is at least 50% obscured with English football club decals, golf club membership stickers or condo parking permits. Secondly, you must place a tissue box (preferably in a white lace cover) on the back shelf of your car under the rear window. Thirdly, you must hang as many CDs or plastic ornaments from your rear vision mirror as it will support. Finally, you must place a Garfield doll with suction caps on one of your windows. Your car will then be ready to drive on Malaysian roads.

Q: What does a single yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means parking is permitted.

Q: What does a double yellow line along the edge of a road mean?
A: This means double parking is permitted.

Q: What does a yellow box with a diagonal grid of yellow lines painted on the road at a junction mean?
A: Contrary to the understanding of some local drivers, this does not mean that diagonal parking is permitted. It indicates a junction that is grid-locked at peak hours.

Q: Can I use my mobile phone whilst driving in Malaysia?
A: No problem at all, but it should be noted that if you wish to use the rear-vision mirror to put on your lipstick (women only please) or trim your eyebrows at the same time as you are using a mobile phone in the other hand, you should ensure that you keep an elbow free to steer the car. Alternatively, you may place a toddler on your lap and have the child steer the car whilst you are carrying out these other essential driving tasks.

Q: Is it necessary to use indicator lights in Malaysia?

A: These blinking orange lights are commonly used by newly arrived expatriate drivers to indicate they are about to change lanes. This provides a useful signal to local drivers to close up any gaps to prevent the expatriate driver from changing lanes. Therefore it is recommended that expatriate drivers adopt the local practice of avoiding all use of indicator lights. However, it is sometimes useful to turn on your left hand indicator if you want to merge right, because this confuses other drivers enabling you to take advantage of an unprotected gap in the traffic.

Q: Why do some local drivers turn on their left hand indicator and then turn right, or turn on their right hand indicator and then turn
left?
A: This is one of the unsolved mysteries of driving in Malaysia.

HAPPY DRIVING.....

PERSONAL THANKS TO ANTHONY.
see i had forgotten bout these pictures i took in the MMS today during the pathology lab session. And a friend like Anthony was courteous enough to remind me to post the pictures up today. You gotta give him credit where it is due, his premonition is limited as is Cheetara's :)

Thunder Cats

2008-07-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

Do you guys remember the old cartoon the thundercats? the one with the wild cats running around. well this is my version of the thundercats with the character representations clearly stated:)

Lion-O:Lion-O, the Lord of the Thundercats, is not as he appears. Although his body is fully developed, his mind is that of a child(quite true I have been told:)) . With the Sword of Omens and enchanted claw shield at his side Lion-O has powers that rival those of all the Thundercats. With Jaga's guidance, in "spirit" form, Lion-O has learned to trust in the Sword of Omens and the Code that binds all Thunderians. (plus its all in the mane man...)

Claudis:Claudis was the previous keep of the Sword of omens and Lion-O's father. Although his vision was taken in battle he did not let his blindness impede his sons rescue attempt. After staying behind on Thundera, Claudis was captured by the Shadowmaster, and finally saved by his son Lion-O years later. He exists now the same astral plane as Jaga.(Actually cos his name begins with C and CheebyE and Claudius have a ring to it:) Also notice how Cheebye's face has 2 tones to it. one slightly Redder:) its pattern follows the darkened region around Claudis' face.

Panthro: Panthro, the eldest living member of the Thundercats, is a mechanical wizard and engineering genius. His advanced fighting technique, with battle-sticks (which can contain any concoction or weapon he places inside), proves to make him a vital team memeber. His vast mechanical knowledge helped him construct the Thundertank from pieces of their wrecked spacecraft . (only cos they're both black actually)

Tygra: Without Tygra there would be no Cat's Lair. Under his guidance the Robear Berbils constructed Cat's Lair in only three days. Tygra's flaming/exploding bolo-whip is a formidable weapon. With it Tygra can become invisible to almost any Third Earth being. Tygra's agility and cunning help him in times of battle and make him an invaluable asset to the team. (this dude and Seng Chye have scaringly similar features EVEN LOOKS)

Cheetara: Cheetara is the fastest of the Thundercats. Her lightning quick speed, though somewhat limited in use, and hand-activated bo-staff make her nearly invincible. Cheetara also has a mysterious "sixth-sense" that provides her with premonitions about the future or an accurate portrayal of the past. Although her use of this special "sixth sense" provides accurate information, it is also very limited. (lol..correct me if i'm wrong)

LOL...

check out the rest on facebook..
btw, i have a special video of anthony bogey-ing...
lol... and many gay pics of kelvin.
but anthony showed us why he's into trance. (cos no one else gives a shit bout it anyway)

Apologies...

2008-07-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

First and foremost I would like to personally apologize to the person i so badly chastised in the previous post. No, I am not too big to apologize, nor am I saying it was mean.
It was plain wrong. Mean is something that's heartless, Wrong is something that's thoughtless and I guess that's where the post stood in my books. It goes against the first post i ever posted from the punisher
'3. In certain, extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue - natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive, it's an emotional response. No, not vengeance. Punishment.'

I guess vengeance and anger (and boredom as well as The Pathfinder on tv) got the better of me and therefore i am apologizing to every reader as well for i broke a rule i set myself. Revenge isn't a valid motive, nor is anger a rational emotion.

Another way of looking at it, Damn my blog is getting popular:). i even added the disclaimer to ward off people who find it offensive. Well the previous post was a foul, nothing offensive. it wasn't even part of the game and so i duly apologize. No i was not asked to apologize, nor was i asked to remove it. I was approached about it in a very amiable manner and hence i duly complied as i felt it was right to do so. So once again i apologize.

to give you a better definition of mean take a look at this next picture (sorry kelvin- just that joke bout the heart kinda stuck)

the wisest lesson for kelvin:)

anyway i'm bloggin after a period of reconcilement, i just did my choro:) (thats a latin word, i'll explain some other time)
basically its something some of us do differently everyday, and (not wanking) its relaxing, allows you to be at peace, and empties you inside.

anyway, i was online n suddenly i came across this.
I mean China has 1.4 billion citizens n i think i know why:)

they FUCK OVER everything...
anyway it'll be nice if someone translates the actual meaning.
No xiangchiao translation please:)

and to all the guys, this is a treat for all of you:)
because i know how hard life is when there is nothing to look at while masturbating..

so here is Keeley Hazel (34 E)

If i end my post here, this technically would be my shortest post:)
so i'll continue:0

anyway someone kinda messaged me earlier this week asking me about the angst inside of me. it was random, at 8am. and yet it kinda took a hit at me. and i told her i'd dedicate a post to her.
so this is to that person who nailed a random act into the thick stubborn skull of mine, and succeeded:)

the next to pictures are for you:)

Ps: I know ur doing it.