Thursday, January 17, 2013

Dolor temporarius est, decus aeternum

A Latin phrase used in the ranks of the military. Pain is temporary, Pride is forever. For a long while, I believed this was a method to ensure one remained stoic in the presence of affliction. I continued to believe so until an incident in Malaysia revealed a deeper meaning. Scholars of the olden days were masters of ambiguity.

Pain is temporary, Pride is forever. In a different context the word 'decus' has a negative connotation to it. Pride would be a loose translation but arrogance is another. Pain is temporary arrogance is forever.

I was seated on the train across a single mother and her 2 daughters. They were going through their homework and Jane, their mum (whom I later learned was a PhD student in some contemporary Arts course) was explaining the concept of pH to them.
I recalled this same topic a long time ago and I learned that the concept of pH was that acid had a low pH and Alkaline had a high pH. I accepted that and thus ended my curiosity.
Now these 2 girls on the other hand inquired as to what pH was. And Jane had trouble trying to explain it. I then explained that they would learn it later in chemistry where pH was a measure of Hydrogen ions and Acids had a higher hydrogen Ion count whereas alkalines had a higher hydroxonium ion count and therefore a mixture of them would produce salt and water. They then asked me about litmus paper and how it changed colours and i mentioned that it is made of a kind of moss, a lichen to be exact. They were intrigued by this and asked me about why oven cleaners were alkaline instead of acid and i mentioned that grime and oils stuck in ovens tend to attract bacteria and chemically produce organic acids as a result of bacteria eating the oils (i wasn't going to explain fat metabolism in prokaryotes to a 8 and 12 year old girl!)

What amazed me was how inquisitive they were and how critical their line of questioning was. And i recalled having the same questions back in school but I never questioned the teacher as I believed I would learn it later in life, or I'd read it up myself. Most of the time I'd just forget it and memorize a set of alkalines and acids and regurgitate them for the exams. With this I introduce you to the background of the education system in Malaysia. Critical thinking is frowned upon, independent thought is a sin and a paradigm shift in method i deemed secession of the soul.

It has been a breath of fresh air that some degree of rebellion has since found its place in Universities back home. Lets recall that every ( I REPEAT EVERY) major schism of social activism began at the heart and soul of a young adult at Uni. In 1989,  at the aptly named square of heavenly peace (Tiananmen Square), students united brought about the most significant movement in history.
Li Peng, in his attempts to stifle this movement resorted to martial law.

The most iconic moment of this entire ordeal however was not the massacre that took place during the chaotic arrests of protestors. One individual, who shall remain eternal, even more so than all the dynasties combined in Chinese history, walked up to 3 tanks and stood silently.
His name, background and other details were never released. So profound were his actions, the photographer to captured the moment was exalted by the media (AP photographer Jeff Widener). But the impact of his actions were deep. He inspired generations to come in a way Gandhi never dreamed was possible.




30 years prior to this in the Phước Hòa pagoda, a senior buddhist monk Quang Duc had informed his disciples of an act he was about to commit to protest the persecution of Buddhists by South Vietnams predominantly Roman Catholic Goverment lead by Diem. Malcolm Brown, a photographer was informed of a protest that would be staged in Saigon and headed to the Cambodian Embassy in Saigon. Quang Duc later dours himself with petroleum and ignites himself. This picture wins Malcolm Brown his Pullitzer (plus a place on my room door). John F Kennedy lamented that "no news picture in history has generated so much emotion around the world as that one."

David Halberstam, wrote about the incident and recalled it in an interview many years later.
He described a carnival like atmosphere with 350 monks and nuns marching in 2 single file lines preceeded by an Austin Westminster Sedan. Quong Duc emerged from the car with 2 assistants, one who placed a cushion on the road the the other who doused him with 5 gallons of petroleum. He then respectfully plead to President Diem to take a mind of compasion towards the people of the nation and implement religious equality. In his own words " I call the venerables, reverends, members of the Sangha and the lay Buddhists to organise in solidarity to make sacrifices to protect Buddhism. He sat in the lotus position with a rosary in one hand chanting Namo Amitābhāya (homage to Amitabha Buddha).  and struck a match and dropped it on himself. Flames consumed his robe and flesh in seconds.
David Halberstam wrote:
I was to see that sight again, but once was enough. Flames were coming from a human being; his body was slowly withering and shriveling up, his head blackening and charring. In the air was the smell of burning human flesh; human beings burn surprisingly quickly. Behind me I could hear the sobbing of the Vietnamese who were now gathering. I was too shocked to cry, too confused to take notes or ask questions, too bewildered to even think ... As he burned he never moved a muscle, never uttered a sound, his outward composure in sharp contrast to the wailing people around him.

Police tried to reach him, but could not break through the circle of Buddhist clergy.
After approximately ten minutes, his body was fully immolated and it eventually toppled backwards onto its back.
One thousand monks had congregated inside to hold a meeting while outside a large crowd of pro-Buddhist students had formed a human barrier around it.
15 June was set as the date for the funeral, and on that day 4,000 people gathered outside the Xá Lợi pagoda, only for the ceremony to be postponed. On 19 June, his remains were carried out of Xá Lợi to a cemetery 16 kilometers (9.9 mi) south of the city for a re-cremation and funeral ceremony. Following the signing of the Joint Communique, attendance was limited by agreement between Buddhist leaders and police to 400. During the re-cremation, it was noted that his heart remained intact and did not burn. The intact heart is regarded as a symbol of compassion. On finding out about the intact heart, the secret police intended to confiscate his ashes, but two monks had escaped with the urn, jumping over the back fence and finding safety at the U.S. Operations Mission next door. They did however confiscate his intact heart.


Several Buddhist monks followed Quang Duc's example, also immolating themselves. Eventually, an Army coup toppled Diệm, who was assassinated on 2 November 1963.

The curtailing of suppression and oppression has been part and parcel of student movements across Asia and the world for many years. In 1970s, the last significant student movement protested the Universities and College Act 1971 which in essence was aimed at halting students involvement in politics. Malaysia was in its infancy and with the recent separation of Singapore, desperate times had resulted in desperate measures. The irony is, alongside this the prestige of University Malaya (the centre of the protests had dipped, so much so it ranks outside the top 200 universities in the world, from previously being in the top 10. The fall from grace may have just been a coincidence with the implementation of the act, but I personally beg to differ. Such coincidences are best dissected. The inquisitive mind is a working mind, and by starving it, you limit it. Clipping the wings of the soaring students back then resulted in a generation of conformers, thus preventing any advancement in thought as conformity became the staple.
The finest universities have been known to produce the most firebrand of leaders in fields. And thus, in a nation where the fire has been doused, we were left ruing what could have been. Fast forward 40 years and students have miraculously found a voice again. Images of Adam Ali lowering a flag swept the nation. Sadly symbolism is a higher form of cognition and with years of slumber, the masses that were peers of this renegade saw his act as one of treason. A symbol, without a context is a mere act. But in the right context, with the right interpretation, could move a nation. Fed with putrid hogwash however, a generation of timid, obscure students today continue to prevent the natural course of intelligence; to mastermind a way out of the shackles.

This was typified during a recent forum organized by a bogus pro-women's rights organization that call themselves SW1M. The coordinator, one Sharifah who presents herself with an air of superiority as a product of years of falsely instilled 'knowledge'. In a Forum (which to any being with an IQ of greater than 20) means a discussion, hence calling forward viewpoints that may differ from ones own, she proceeded to indoctrinate the timid. And in her valiant attempt to avoid the possibility of being questioned, she rushed through the question and answer phase of the forum to the lucky draw bit.
Out came a 2nd year law student who challenged her on a few aspects of her talk. Unperturbed by the subliminal intimidation tactics which included a soul chilling stare, a villainous catwalk towards her mic stand and finally an utter rude gesture of halting one from finishing her points, she later proceeds to shake her hand. All of this before she berates the law student who was born and bred and is a citizen of the country but of a different ethnic minority. Now the irony is judging by Sharifah's exterior, she would be of the same ethnic group but because she professes a different religion, her race per se has swapped. How this is possible is beyond my comprehension. Now she threatens the student and ridicules here in front of 2300 other students for making a point which was valid. She later laments that there is a difference between them being that she's got a degree and the student hasn't. She later states that the student lacks an education as she fails to show respect to her elders. Now at this point, any mortal would shudder at the nonsensical scene that was taking place. But Schadenfreude, a german word which means pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others, comes into play. The other students now have a scene. The lack of a critical and independent thought manifests itself to the puppet-master that is Sharifah. With this instilled confidence, she continues her tirade, completely misconstruing human rights for animal rights and talks about the plight of animals. This ecowarrior-cum-vegan vehemently, voraciously vexes the vox populi with her vacous words while serving as a vanguard for women. Now I worry for her, more than i do for the student, as pain is temporary, and pride is permanent. And in her arrogance from years of acceptance by her putrid bunch, she has become insolent and sadly arrogant. Idiocy filled the room she spoke in that day and to my utter dismay, no one stopped her. Quang Duc who underwent self immolation did it for a noble cause. This rogue speaker who was unbeknownst to herself, undergoing a form of self immolation had no one to stop her. It is a disgraceful sight to see someone who could be so misinformed and yet not be corrected.

The Truth Shall Prevail, is the term a chinese bloke once said to me after a prayer session I attended at a Sikh Gurudwara. He informed me of the profound meaning of a salutation that we Sikhs use to greet each other. In his own words, he said, "Be proud, your religion seeks the truth in every way".

In that light, the truth did prevail and this incident that took place in a university in Malaysia was recorded and broadcasted all across the web. The local media however, has not commented much on the affair that is the hottest topic on Yahoo News, facebook, twitter, 9gag and so forth. The reason behind this? Like Russia during the days of the Soviet Union, and Gestapo Germany, Knowledge is power. Knowledge is the process of accumulating information. As long as the source of information can be controlled, the knowledge one acquires can be kept in check. Just as one chooses to shut the blinds to the rays of the sun, an Iron Curtain is in place to limit the enlightenment. Any bad press that has repercussions incriminating a protected few never surfaces.

And so, like every activist movement in the past, the grassroots acquire the knowledge and share it at a meeting (today made easier by the internet) by a few and the message is spread like wildfire. Sadly for Sharifah, this meeting has been attended by a few too many people. The public outcry at the outrageous fatuousness has been promising. One can only hope the timid grow courage and the obscure faceless ones gain a visage and stand to be counted.

Monday, December 3, 2012

Imaginations From The Other Side



Firstly, Welcome back. After a long hiatus, I have decided to reengage the more imaginative aspects of my mind. But we have to catch up on lost time. 


A query that had me pondering all day today is the concept of lifespans. There is nothing infinite in terms of lifespan. EVERYTHING has a lifespan. Abstract or concrete. From the pebble that shall be crushed someday, to the ideologies that have since perished, from the friendships that have since fizzled to the warmth that shall soon disappear. Energy- one argued is eternal. And my counter argument was that there is a finite time before energy changes its form, and hence corresponds to my lifespan postulation. 



If the theological understanding of the afterlife is to be applied, like energy, there is merely a change of form (possibly substance?). 



My newfound nihilistic views on the concept of lifespan has little to do with my career aspirations. People die. That is a fact. Immortality is a myth and even myths confound to the lifespan postulation. But is that such a bad thing. That a natural end shall be the undoing of everything. 

Some memories are worth keeping, thus shall be taken to our graves. and others will perish as their time comes. Resurrecting them - giving them life- shall only serve to bring them back to life temporarily as they will then be on a borrowed lifespan. 

The most bitter of memories therefore shall always fade. 

But what happens to our other memories? As a child, I vividly remember living in an imaginarium, a world that was make belief of elves and princesses and monsters and heros. Finding a way to escape the confines of the mundane walls of my classroom, i'd drift away for hours at end, without a worry in the world. And time seemed to pass by so slowly back then. Fast forward 20 years and I am now a timechaser. One who is constantly disapproving the fact that 24 hours a day is not enough; idealists imagine, realists work at it. Hence the concept of an ideal world is still left begging, but the real world is often used to subjugate our dreams. 
Hansi Kürsch (with the Umlaut), lead vocalist of Blind Guardian (as well as lyricist) was a fan of JRR Tolkien. Brought up in a strict german family with little appreciation for literature, the rebel in Hansi ensured he got his hands on Tolkien's works ie The Silmarillion, LOTR and the Hobbit. His infatuation with fantasy would largely influence his lyrical style, as I shall demonstrate.
The song title is Imaginations from the other side. The song describes the world of fantasy and fairy tales that he grew up in reading Tolkien; 



Where are these silent faces   
I took them all
They all went away
Now you're alone 
To turn out every light so deep in me 
Hold on, to late
II 
Will I ever see them back again 
Or did they all die by my hand 
Or where they killed
By the old evil ghost
Who had taken 
The ocean, Of all my dreams
Which were worth to keep
Deep inside my heart
I wish I, Could get them back
From the everflow 
Before they'll fade away
 III
Imaginations from the other side 
Far out of nowhere
It got back to my mind
Imaginations from the other side
Far out of nowhere
It got back to my mind
Out of the dark
Back to the light
Then I'll break down
The walls around my heart
Imaginations from the other side
 IV
Where's the ocean's daughter
Was Peter Pan in Mordor
"No one's there to keep alive" x3
All these fairy tales
V
May I return to Oz
Will I meet the "Tin Man"
"Coward Lion" where are you
Without brain the scarecrow's lost 
In the middle of the lake
 VI
Stranded in the real world
Left in a world
No place for daydreams
Serious life
I fall into, I fall into a dark hole
And I can't come out
 VII
Do you know if Merlin did exist
Or Frodo wore the ring
Did Corum kill the gods
Or where's the wonderland
Which young Alice had seen
Or was it just a dream
I knew the answers
Now they're lost for me

Chorus
 VIII
I hope there is a way back
With my talisman
So I look into myself
To the days when I was just a child
Come follow me to wonderland
And see the tale that never ends
Don't fear the lion nor the witch
I can't come back
I'm lost but still I know 
There is another world
Stanza I and II talks about the realisation that we have stifled our imaginations. the day dreaming prowess that was 20 years ago has faded as such we've become subservient to reality, often allowing the phrase 'reality bites' eschew the abstract. It reiterates Hansi's genuine regret that he has stopped phasing into his dreams and he cannot recollect when that happened. 
Stanza III highlights the nostalgic connotations that are brought about by imaginations from the other side.
Stanza IV reveals his ignorance. He confuses the oceans daughter - Poseiden's children the Nymphs of the sea, Peter Pan (ageless flying boy) and Mordor (capital of New Zealand:P). the inner conflict is for all to hear as he repeats the line "No one's there to keep alive"- stressing that the lack of input allows these memories to die out. 
Stanza V highlights the characters of Oz, Stanza VI reiterates the realities of the real world. 

Stanza VII is the pathfinding phase. He recollects each of the stories but does not know for sure. The Legend of Merlin, who for most parts is Mythical is a character that is present in all of Tolkein's works as Gandalf. The pioneer old bearded wizard, Merlin, who served as advisor to King Arthur, may actually be an amalgamation of many wise men- signifying the realisation that amidst the fairy tales there was some truth. that amidst the imaginations, answers were laid bare for all to see. Whether Frodo dealt with the ethical dilemma of integrity vs supremacy. Whether Corum from the Swords Trilogy overcame the sorcerers (Gods) Chaos and Law - advocating a path of righteousness between anarchy and tranquility. He then goes to add on that the wonderland Alice traverses is possibly a dream and therefore may not be fiction after all as it would be then based on a true story. As a child he knew all the answers, without knowing the questions. and now when the questions appear, he has found himself looking in depth for more answers.

Stanza VIII - he reiterates the importance of reliving his childhood (in particular the vivid imaginations he had). 

And for those who like the blog just for the pictures - here you go:)















Monday, December 19, 2011

Fire in the belly




It is with great pride that I inform the world that students in Malaysian Universities are taking a stand for once. They are no longer conforming with the whims and fancies of the powers to be, and finally have got some fire in their bellies.

It has been too long since I blogged and I must convey my humblest apologies. Blogging you see is similar to reading a Milan Kundera novel. Unless you persevere with the chapter, you'll be dumbfounded by the intricacies of his vivid descriptions.


In his book ironically titled, "The Book of Laughter and forgetting" he describes the struggle of man against power is that of the struggle of memory against forgetting.
It is in that light that I begin todays fiery post. I have always sat back in my hourly cajoles with the angels of Azure, slowly drifting away as my brain reaches its saturation point, wondering if having infinite memory, being able to remember and then recall every bit of information i accepted would be an asset or a curse. It is the power of forgetting that allows us to forgive, to move on and to fill our minds with other thoughts and memories to keep us in a constant motion of contention.


It is astounding that it is in this same phenomena that our governments have constantly persevered to frustrate us continuously on a daily basis. I bring your attention to the politician. In some nations, politicians are held in high esteem - these nations happened to be the impoverished third world countries coincidentally. In others, politicians are where they should be, as the butt of all jokes, as the infamous one goes.

Child: mum what are prostitutes?
Mum: thats where politicians come from.



It is never the best debater, more eloquent speaker or wisest philosopher that embarks on a career in politics.

We live in a world in which politics has replaced philosophy. ~Martin L. Gross, A Call for Revolution, 1993
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber. ~Plato



Having said that, I better stop mocking the politicians. I might wind up being black bagged and disposed off.
After all,
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed ~Mao Tse-Tung

In short, I just wish to say IM BACK!!!!!




Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sanctificetur Nomen Tuum




Luke 11:2-4
"Father,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation."

It has been a while since my last post, but today's blog entry concerns my recent need to understand death and how it affects us. The most common theme in poetry, the source of fear and yet the only certainty in life.
The end, the absence of life, the passing on of the soul, the closing of a chapter.
I accompanied Lenster to Maundy Thursday, when the Last Supper took place, and the sermon was ended with the reading of the God's prayer. Hallowed be thy name. Possibly from the Book of Matthew rather than Luke, but my memory fails me.

For those who've known me for a while now, My favourite Maiden song ever has to be 'Hallowed be thy name'. A song written with so much empathy, and sang with so much force, yet typified by the galloping rhythm that is a classic Steve Harris inspired Maiden song.



The song takes us into the realms of a prison inmate on death row. We shall take a look at this anthem and how well it was written in accordance to the the Kübler-Ross Model aka The Five Stages Of Grief, first introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.

The Model of Coping with Dying, which was based on retrospective cohort study involving more than 500 dying patients. It describes, in five discrete stages, a process by which people cope and deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or experience a catastrophic loss, most often death.
It is now a widely accepted model of emotional and psychological responses that many people experience when faced with a life-threatening illness or a life-changing situation. These stages do not only apply to loss as a result of death but may also occur in someone who experience a different life-changing event, such as divorce or a breakdown of a relationship, or loss of a job.

Dr. Kübler-Ross added that it's important to note that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological. Not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-changing event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in the order that is written. Reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them.
Not everyone goes through all of the steps or goes through them in a linear fashion. Some steps may be missed entirely, others may be experienced in a different order, some may be re-experienced again and again and some may get stuck in one.


The stages:
Denial
Possibly the easiest to spot of all the stages, denial is the rejection of reality as it occurs be it temporary. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death. A bad joke I once heard some time back, someone was asked "what if you found out you had a life threatening disease and only have month to live?' His answer was "I'd consult another doctor". Now those of you who share a chuckle, also note that subtly, denial has taken place.

Anger
The will to live is one that transcends logic. Countless of patients whom you'd thought would benefit less from living actually carry on living. Hope may be a driver to live, but it is not essential. Anger is symbolic as the last stand, the fighting cry, the primal scream. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.


Bargaining
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. It is a stage of acceptance, knowing the inevitable is at hand but literally buying time before it hits. It is the first sign of giving up on life. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."

Depression
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. His hands are all down and out, and the cards have been dealt. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. It is the final attempt to cut off all worldly ties that are deemed temporary, like the waves of an ocean.

Acceptance
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.
And now we shall dissect the lyrics of the song to highlight the stages mentioned above.

I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chime
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low
Acceptance


When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me

Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream

Denial

Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end

Denial

As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?

Anger, Bargaining

As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away

Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth

When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.

Acceptance


Now why did I put up such an elaborate tale of death and despair using the Lord's Prayer as well as an Iron Maiden classic?
It's because a fellow Malaysian, whom I do not know, nor will I ever, has been arrested in Singapore for trafficking drugs. Singapore as you all know is the country with the Highest Per Capita execution rate in the world, dwarfing that of Turkmenistan (in 2nd place) by 1000%, (1.314 vs 0.143)

In 2010 British author Alan Shadrake published his book Once a Jolly Hangman - Singapore Justice in the Dock, which was critical of the Singapore judicial system. Shadrake was arrested whilst promoting the book in Singapore and later sentenced to six weeks in prison for contempt of court. He is also charged with criminal defamation. The case attracted worldwide attention, putting the Singapore legal system in the spotlight. Whilst I do not condone trafficking drugs, we are but pruning weeds instead of uprooting them. Because as much as I'd like to think that 19 year olds have gone along far in life by becoming drug lords, we'll have to accept the realities that these boys are mere pawns.

The chief executioner, Darshan Singh, said that he has executed more than 850 people during his service from 1959 using the phrase: "I am going to send you to a better place than this. God bless you." This included 18 people on one day, using three ropes at a time. Singh also said that he has hanged 7 people within 90 minutes.

All Capital cases are heard by a single judge in the High Court of Singapore. After conviction and sentencing, the sentenced has one appeal to the Court of Appeal of Singapore. If the appeal fails, the final recourse rests with the President of Singapore, who has the power to grant clemency on the advice of the Cabinet. The exact number of successful appeals is unknown. Poh Kay Keong had his conviction overturned after the Court found his statement to a Central Narcotics Bureau officer was made under duress.Successful clemency applications are thought to be even rarer. Since 1965, President's clemency has been granted six times. The last clemency was in May 1998 when Mathavakannan Kalimuthu received pardon from President Ong Teng Cheong with the sentence commuted to life imprisonment.


A very insightful article written by William Gibson is linked here

YONG VUI KONG, a Sabahan, was sentenced in November 2009 to death for drug trafficking. He was 19. On April 4, Yong lost his final appeal against a mandatory death sentence. He will be executed in three months unless he is granted clemency by Singapore's president.



Sabahan Yong Vui Kong is on death row in Singapore for drug trafficking. Malaysiakini is publishing Yong's final letters to Yetian, a member of the Save Vui Kong Campaign, in the next 12 weeks as he faces death.


Dear Yetian,(the person in who first brought his case into light)

Thank you for your letter, and thank you for giving me a platform and the strength to tell my story. This is my first letter. I hope to let everyone know what my life is like in prison.

First, let me introduce myself. My name is Yong Vui Kong. In early 2011, I celebrated my 23rd birthday in prison. I wasn't alone during my birthday. Lots of friends on the outside were also celebrating with me.

Why am I in jail? It's because I helped traffic drugs into Singapore. I was caught when I was 19. It's been a few years now. I am a death row inmate, and by right, I should have been dead long ago. But a lot of people have been helping me, and that's why I'm still alive today. If it wasn't for all these people, I think I'd have left this world long ago.

My mother doesn't know I've been sentenced to death. I've told her I'll be going to a far away place to seek enlightenment. I told her not to worry about me. She believed me.

Let me now tell you about my life inside here.

I get up at around 4 every morning. I don't have an alarm clock because I don't need one. I've gotten used to this routine, and it has not changed these past few years. Even the prison wardens know I am an early riser. They see me getting up each morning via the CCTV inside my cell.

After washing up and brushing my teeth, I'll spend time studying the (Buddhist) scriptures until 7am. After that, I'll meditate quietly until 9am. Some people might think I'm just trying to kill time, but in my heart, I believe it's better to make full use of my time than to just let it slip away.

I do not fear death

At 9am, I have breakfast. I don't eat the same things as the rest of the inmates. Even the wardens know this and will only deliver vegetarian meals to me.
Vegetarianism has become a habit for me. The benefits of vegetarianism is something you have to experience yourself. I can tell you it's a good thing, but you might not believe me. I encourage everyone to give vegetarianism a try.

In the past, when I knew I was going to die soon, I couldn't stop crying because I was scared. But the Buddhist priest who visits me every week has taught me not to fear death.

Earlier this year, a friend inside left us. Before he left, I chanted for him. He left peacefully.

Until I die, I'll use my time wisely to counsel people and tell them not to choose drugs.

Over the past few years, my relationship with my older brother, Yun Leong, has improved a great deal. We used to fight over all kinds of things.

But now, our relationship is much improved. If not for his help, you wouldn't be reading this letter now. I am really grateful to him. He visits me every Monday. We chit chat and he listens to me talk about Buddhism.

How many more Mondays will we have?

In the past, my rebelliousness made my brothers very unhappy. Now that I'm a changed person, my brothers feel much better. I think that's the least I can do.

Not enough time to learn everything

Actually, I'm doing very well in prison. The wardens show me a lot of respect. Whenever my brother visits, they would unshackle me and we'd bow to each other. My brother tells me they hold me in high regard. I am humbled to know that.

In my spare time, I study the scriptures. I'm afraid I won't have enough time to learn everything. I don't even think there's enough hours in a day for me to study. A lot of people think that it must be tortuous for me to spend an extended time in prison, but I feel good because I can make full use of the time to learn. I feel very fulfilled.

I like to chant. But because of the strict rules inside prison, I can't use normal meditation beads. That's because they're afraid I'll sharpen the crystal beads and use them to kill myself. My priest is very thoughtful. He used flour to make little beads, strung them up and gave them to me. I use them when I chant.

Suicide? I've never thought of it. Life is to be cherished, not squandered.

Yetian, thank you. I'll stop here today. Amitaba.


His tale is that of a wayward teen, one who took a road more convoluted than the rest of us, but is death really the only option for him. His hopes disdained, his dreams stripped. He shall never again enjoy the waves of water in his feet as he walks by the sea removing sand from his sandals. He shall never again sniff the smell of roasting coffee in a parlour nearby. He has reached acceptance, and unless he gets a presidential pardon, his fate is sealed.
Not a bad article for the solemn weekend that commemorates the death of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Monday, November 29, 2010

fortiter in re, suaviter in modo Part 1


Resolute in action, gentle in manners

I have sat here quietly watching over as fellow peers take to the streets in protest of the recent plans to implement fees for local students.
Does this affect me? Nae...
Do I care? aye...

It is an utter disgrace the way University goers, ie, less than 1% of the worlds population took to the streets in protest only to be dubbed as hooligans thus tarnishing the reputations of students nationwide.

Let me first explain the concept of a protest. It is a formal objection or affirmation with earnest solemnity. Now someone spell out where in that very statement did the flinging of chairs and whatnot at the cops and riot police become a necessity. Now a riot on the other hand is a form of civil disorder characterized often by disorganized groups lashing out in a sudden and intense rash of violence against authority.

My point made? let me re-evoke the scenes through the the visual mediums. after all a picture is apparently 1000 words.




The rightful emotion for a protest IS AND SHOULD BE sadness and displeasure, not anger.



“Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It's a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you're hurt.” - Tom Gates


"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned" - Buddha

Now let me first and foremost introduce you spoilt brats who need an excuse to take to the streets in violent protest for an increment in fees. I feel your pain, but, suck it up and deal with it like proper educated people and mount a protest worthy of taking note.
Lets look back in time at how nonviolence, or 'Ahimsa' a Buddhist principle can suppress agression and achieve so much more by striking the right notes.

The one I've read about most recently would be the Tank Man. Now most of you would've not even heard of the Tank Man, but aged 19, this legend stood up to 4 tanks in 1989. Now to those of you who're not well versed with what I would term general knowledge, China back then still had a very closed door policy to the world.

As the military strangled the life and freedom out of every living soul, the few self declared brave ones mounted a violent protest and got arrested to be black-bagged and never heard of. Now this would not happen in the UK due to 'human rights' bull shit, cos lets face it, if it did happen, you whimps would've never taken to the streets to begin with.

This is the story of Tiananmen Square, June 4th 1989.
Political reforms swept China during the 80s and a lose market economy was set up as a method of liberalization under Chairman Mao. Students and intellectuals however felt these reforms were merely lip service and felt a paradigm shift in the political system was required. They felt the Communist Party of China still had a Gorbachev-like stronghold on the system and therefore demanded a reform for democracy instead. The revolutionary Hu suffered a myocardial infarct. Being the most underrated reformer of modern times, Hu played a pivotal role in the liberalisation of the communist law in China. His daring opposition and forthright calls for rapid reform was seen as open contempt of the Maoist excesses and was made a suitable scapegoat in the eyes of Deng the dick and others in the Mao administration, after the protests of 1987, Being a true man of honour, he politely resigned from the ruling party as Secretary General as a sign of protest. His death was mourned for 7 weeks, and thus sparked the infamous Tiananmen Square incident. But what was remarkable about the 100,000 people that gathered on that very day was there was no violence whatsoever. in fact they even erected a monument (the students at the Central Academy of Fine Art) representing the Goddess of Democracy.


They requested a dialogue with the government in order to discuss political reforms, a motion that was of course rejected, and huge groups of students decided to take to the SQUARE during the visit of Mikhail Gorbachev. Students nationwide participated in a hunger strike, for a week, and a well ordered daily march was conducted by students at Tiananmen Square. They stepped up by boycotting classes alongside lecturers. They were so well mannered, they even helped the police arrest 3 people who vandalised a picture of Chairman Mao just north of the Square. Such was the integrity of chinese students during the protest. Li Peng, famously known as Mao's right hand man finally caved in the proposed dialogue was agreed. At the same time, the Chinese Red Cross had set out to assist students who had collapsed amidst the protest and hungerstrike. A well thought out plan I'd say. So moving was this display of courage and unity amidst the dissatisfaction, Zhao Ziying, the General Secretary that replaced Hu made a public speech urging students to end the hungerstrike. In his infamous tearful speech where he begged and pleaded for students, "We are already old, it doesn't matter to us any more." (referring to himself) In contrast, the students were young and he urged them to stay healthy and not to sacrifice themselves so easily. Zhao's emotional speech was applauded by some students on the Square; it would be his last public appearance, as he was later placed in house-arrest till his death.

As it was the visit of Gorbachev and the international media was present, students ensured that their protests were seen and heard, as a peaceful, nonviolent one.

We've still to get to the Tank Man to talk about, so I'll pace this up. What happened next is the protests escalades as military personelle get mobilized to contain the protests. Rumours speculate about people getting shot and emotions flare up. Molotov cocktails are thrown at tanks and the military which sparked gunshots and many protestors perished. Now this bit was when the Beijing-ers got involved shielding the protestors as a sign of support and the gunshots seized.

What happens next cannot be expressed in mere words. Fresh a day after the carnage of the shootings and the mobilization of tanks to contain the protests (tanks apparently crushed some protestors as well), The tank man stood up and staked his claim, in the minds of every freedom crying soul worldwide.




Stay tuned for part 2!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Amare et sapere vix deo conceditur - Even a god finds it hard to love and be wise at the same time





True to the statement above, in humility i apologize for not updating my blog in aeons. The lack of a stimulus compounded with the new phenomenon known as Facebook has led to my blog deteriorating like timber in a tropical climate infested with termites, almost beyond recognition.

I always took pride in the fact that people visit blogs to gain insight into the lives of others, and it is many forms that this insight is sought.

Some choose to blog about their new clothes, cars, pets, friends, ex's, spouses, trials, tribulations.
I blog on my thoughts. Dark, disturbed, warped, intelligent, logic-defying, passionate, whichever rules the day. thoughts are like the shirts you pull out of your cupboard. unless you've actually made a conscious decision to yank a shirt out from the middle, chances are the same ones will be lingering around for quite a bit.

Wafi, my housemate walked into my room and convinced me to blog about concept albums.
A dying breed, the last well known concept album to me was Cruelity and the Beast, by Cradle of Filth, an extreme metal band apparently according to Wikipedia although i'll argue they were more a Symphonic Black Metal band.

What constitutes the Black Metal sound is a question I am familiar with. A famous remark constantly made is 'WHY DOES HE SING IN SUCH A SCREECHY VOICE!??'

I share your views as the symphonic nature of the songs is more ubiquitously enjoyed in comparison to the acquired taste that is Black Metal.
Black Metal is a form of music that ranks under the Heading of Extreme Metal, which consists of Death, Doom, Black and Trash Metal.
A common denominator is the fact that the vocals are not exactly crystal clear as one would expect to find compared to - Power Metal or Heavy Metal where voice projection is a major asset.
Black metal relies on an eerie mythical mysterious nature that is often themed by tragedies, epics or most commonly satanism. As with most forms of metal, there grew a need to be 'more metal' than the predecessor and hence you have crappy bands that delve into realms that even the most liberal metalhead finds to be crap. It would be like getting Vanilla Ice to sing 'Across 110th street' by Bob Womack and expecting a better outcome. In moderation, the darker forms of metal is best described as hazelnut flavoured coffee syrup, striking a balance between symphony and screeching is the key. The actual screech itself is the hallmark of Black Metal and why it is present is not well understood. However my personal postulations are because Black metal is often described as the inner soul that needs to break away from the shackles of the material world and screeching is its way of just popping its head outside for a moment. Notice that screeching is an art and that is near impossible to replicate unlike growling and guttural vocals that originate from the back of the oropharynx, screeching according to the purists originate from the navel, where the umbilical cord once served as the only supply route for all forms of nutrition to a fetus. Hence the added obsession with unborn fetuses in the realms of black metal.
the true legionnaires of black metal however are the scandinavian bands, ie Mayhem, Emporer, Burzum, and my personal favourite - Immortal.

Back to my point about concept albums, a true masterpiece indeed. A whole album consisting of songs that resemble chapters of a complete story, such as Seventh Son of a Seventh Son by Iron Maiden, Tunes Of War by Gravedigger and Cruelty and the beast.
The pick of the bunch here under the heading of black metal would be cruelty and the beast - with the song that probably vies for my award for top 100 best written lyrics ever.
the songs are written in stanzas with chapter headings - which tend to also be the last line uttered for the song.

this Song was dedicated to the Countess Bathory, who if you have no clue about, i recommend a quick visit to wikipedia or the library. Her vampiric addiction possible led to the common notion that all vampires hail from Eastern Europe.

Bathory Aria

[I. Benighted Like Usher]

Snuffed tapers sighed
As Death left impressing
His crest of cold tears on the Countess

Benighted like ill-fated Usher
The House of Bathory shrouded
'Neath griefs dark facade

If only I could have wept
In mourning by Her side
I would have clasped Her so tight
Like storm-beached Aphrodite
Drowned on Kytherean tides
(*Kytherea/Cytherea- Greek Goddess of Fertility and Love - the non sexually charged version of Aphrodite)

And Kissed Her
For from Her alone
My lips would have known
Enigmas of shadowy vistas

Where pleasures took flesh
And pain, remorseless
Came freezing the breath
Of raucous life hushed unto whispers

Benighted.

Inhaling the pale waning moonlight that crept
Through the crypt of Her Lord who so lucidly slept

Benighted.

Exhaling the wail of black widowhood's toll
Waxing eternal night entered Her soul

Summary - chapter 1 - Bathory mourns the loss of her husband - cursed to die by a witch apparently although the less eccentric version states he dies from injuries sustained at war.
[II. A Murder of Ravens in Fugue]

Now haranguing grey skies
With revenge upon life
Gnathic (is a term used medically meaning mandible) and Sapphic (in this context refers to female homosexuality)
Needs begged gendercide

Delusions of Grandier denounced the revolt
Of descrying cursed glass, disenchanted in vaults
Encircled by glyphs midst Her sin-sistered cult

With hangman's abandon She plied spirit worlds
To Archangels in bondage
From light to night hurled
Cast down to the earth where torment would unfurl.......
- Summary - Her bloodlust and fetish for more extreme versions of sexual pleasures are luridly described.
But soon,
Her tarot proved
Hybrid rumours spread like tumours
Would accrue
And blight Her stars
To better bitter truths
Of cold bloodbaths
- Summary - the church found out of her ways
As bodies rose
In rigid droves
To haunt Her from their
Shallow burials imposed
When wolves exhumed
Their carthen wombs
Where heavy frosts had laboured long
To bare their wounds
summary - the bodies were found
To the depths of Her soul they pursued
Wielding their poison they flew
Like a murder of ravens in fugue

And knowing their raptures
Would shatter Her dreams
She clawed blackened books for damnation's reprieve
Baneful cawed canons on amassed enemies

So Hallow's Eve
As She received
Like Bellona to the ball
Those enemies
Fell-sisters heaved
Her torturies
Cross stained flagstones
To Her carriage reined to flee

But She knew She must brave the night through
Though fear crept a deathshead o'er the moon
Like a murder of ravens in Fugue

For each masked, jewelled gaze held dread purpose
Horror froze painted eyes to cold stares
And even Her dance
In the vast mirrors cast
Looked the ill of Her future
If fate feasted there....
summary = she is imprisoned in her castle as the punishment for her alleged killings.
[III. Eyes That Witnessed Madness]

In an age crucified by the nails of faith
When rank scarecrows of christ blighted lands
An aloof Countess born an obsidian wraith
Dared the abyss knowing well She was damned
Her life whispered grief like a funeral march
Twisted and yearning, obsessed an entranced
With those succumbing to cruelty
Crushed 'neath the gait(pattern of walking) of Her dance
A whirlwind of fire that swept through the briers
Of sweet rose Her thickets of black thorn had grasped...

She demanded the Heavens and forever to glean
The elixir of Youth from the pure
Whilst Her lesbian fantasies
Reamed to extremes
O'er decades unleashed
Came for blood's silken cure

But Her reign ended swiftly
For Dark Gods dreamt too deep
To heed Her pleas

When Her gaolers were assailed
With condemnations from a priest
Who'd stammered rites
In the dead of night
For maidens staining winding sheets

And She postured proud
When Her crimes were trowelled
And jezebelled to peasant lips
Though She smelt the fires
That licked limbs higher
To the tortured cunts of accomplices

So ends this twisted fable's worth
And though spared the pyre's bite
By dint of nobled bloodlined birth
Her sins (crimes) garnered Her no respite

Forever severed from the thrill of coming night
Where slow Death alone could grant Her flight

"The Spirits have all but fled judgement
I rot, alone, insane,
Where the forest whispers puce laments for me
From amidst the pine and wreathed wolfsbane
Beyond these walls, wherein condemned
To the gloom of an austere tomb
I pace with feral madness sent
Through the pale beams of a guiltless moon
Who, bereft of necrologies, thus
Commands creation over the earth
Whilst I resign my lips to death
A slow cold kiss that chides rebirth
Though one last wish is bequathed by fate
My beauty shalt wilt, unseen
Save for twin black eyes that shalt come to take
My soul to peace or Hell for company"

My soul to Hell for company
- she spends the rest of her life away from the public all alone in her castle sanctuary.
epic.... truly an epic.

I guess I'll end my post here for today, with the notion that Black metal is a form of music that may be hard to accept even for metalheads who aren't big fans, but given a chance, it can be quite refreshing. Sadly, the conquests of bands like Mayhem and Burzum, both of whom are relatively better known for constantly giving churches 3rd degree burns rather than producing any decent form of music will forever be remembered as the biggest black metal bands alive.

Having said that, Immortal, a band that has stuck true to its roots of Black Metal without delving into the need to be satanists or to condemn religions and burn churches, is possibly the longest surviving band, that has not undergone revamps after every album. They're true pioneers of Norwegian black metal and my personal favourite black metal band.

until the next time, the guardian of metal stands tall, ensuring the safekeeping of the highest order of music - metal.

next week we may choose to do something proper extraordinary, like review Manowar... lol!

this goes out to the legend that wrote this to the papers yesterday. may your awesomeness never ever be forgotten