Luke 11:2-4
"Father,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation."
It has been a while since my last post, but today's blog entry concerns my recent need to understand death and how it affects us. The most common theme in poetry, the source of fear and yet the only certainty in life.
The end, the absence of life, the passing on of the soul, the closing of a chapter.
I accompanied Lenster to Maundy Thursday, when the Last Supper took place, and the sermon was ended with the reading of the God's prayer. Hallowed be thy name. Possibly from the Book of Matthew rather than Luke, but my memory fails me.
For those who've known me for a while now, My favourite Maiden song ever has to be 'Hallowed be thy name'. A song written with so much empathy, and sang with so much force, yet typified by the galloping rhythm that is a classic Steve Harris inspired Maiden song.
The song takes us into the realms of a prison inmate on death row. We shall take a look at this anthem and how well it was written in accordance to the the Kübler-Ross Model aka The Five Stages Of Grief, first introduced by Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying.
The Model of Coping with Dying, which was based on retrospective cohort study involving more than 500 dying patients. It describes, in five discrete stages, a process by which people cope and deal with grief and tragedy, especially when diagnosed with a terminal illness or experience a catastrophic loss, most often death.
It is now a widely accepted model of emotional and psychological responses that many people experience when faced with a life-threatening illness or a life-changing situation. These stages do not only apply to loss as a result of death but may also occur in someone who experience a different life-changing event, such as divorce or a breakdown of a relationship, or loss of a job.
Dr. Kübler-Ross added that it's important to note that these stages are not meant to be complete or chronological. Not everyone who experiences a life-threatening or life-changing event feels all five of the responses nor will everyone who does experience them do so in the order that is written. Reactions to illness, death, and loss are as unique as the person experiencing them.
Not everyone goes through all of the steps or goes through them in a linear fashion. Some steps may be missed entirely, others may be experienced in a different order, some may be re-experienced again and again and some may get stuck in one.
The stages:
Denial
Possibly the easiest to spot of all the stages, denial is the rejection of reality as it occurs be it temporary. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of positions and individuals that will be left behind after death. A bad joke I once heard some time back, someone was asked "what if you found out you had a life threatening disease and only have month to live?' His answer was "I'd consult another doctor". Now those of you who share a chuckle, also note that subtly, denial has taken place.
Anger
The will to live is one that transcends logic. Countless of patients whom you'd thought would benefit less from living actually carry on living. Hope may be a driver to live, but it is not essential. Anger is symbolic as the last stand, the fighting cry, the primal scream. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. It is a stage of acceptance, knowing the inevitable is at hand but literally buying time before it hits. It is the first sign of giving up on life. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
Depression
During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. His hands are all down and out, and the cards have been dealt. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed. It is the final attempt to cut off all worldly ties that are deemed temporary, like the waves of an ocean.
Acceptance
In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one.
And now we shall dissect the lyrics of the song to highlight the stages mentioned above.I'm waiting in my cold cell when the bell begins to chimeAcceptance
Reflecting on my past life and it doesn't have much time
Cos at 5 o'clock they take me to the Gallows Pole
The sands of time for me are running low
When the priest comes to read me the last rites
I take a look through the bars at the last sights
Of a world that has gone very wrong for me
Can it be there's some sort of error
Hard to stop the surmounting terror
Is it really the end not some crazy dream
Denial
Somebody please tell me that I'm dreaming
It's not so easy to stop from screaming
But words escape me when I try to speak
Tears they flow but why am I crying
After all I am not afraid of dying
Don't believe that there is never an end
Denial
As the guards march me out to the courtyard
Someone calls from a cell "God be with you"
If there's a God then why has he let me die?
Anger, Bargaining
As I walk all my life drifts before me
And though the end is near I'm not sorry
Catch my soul cos it's willing to fly away
Mark my words please believe my soul lives on
Please don't worry now that I have gone
I've gone beyond to see the truth
When you know that your time is close at hand
maybe then you'll begin to understand
Life down there is just a strange illusion.
Acceptance
Now why did I put up such an elaborate tale of death and despair using the Lord's Prayer as well as an Iron Maiden classic?
It's because a fellow Malaysian, whom I do not know, nor will I ever, has been arrested in Singapore for trafficking drugs. Singapore as you all know is the country with the Highest Per Capita execution rate in the world, dwarfing that of Turkmenistan (in 2nd place) by 1000%, (1.314 vs 0.143)
In 2010 British author Alan Shadrake published his book Once a Jolly Hangman - Singapore Justice in the Dock, which was critical of the Singapore judicial system. Shadrake was arrested whilst promoting the book in Singapore and later sentenced to six weeks in prison for contempt of court. He is also charged with criminal defamation. The case attracted worldwide attention, putting the Singapore legal system in the spotlight. Whilst I do not condone trafficking drugs, we are but pruning weeds instead of uprooting them. Because as much as I'd like to think that 19 year olds have gone along far in life by becoming drug lords, we'll have to accept the realities that these boys are mere pawns.
The chief executioner, Darshan Singh, said that he has executed more than 850 people during his service from 1959 using the phrase: "I am going to send you to a better place than this. God bless you." This included 18 people on one day, using three ropes at a time. Singh also said that he has hanged 7 people within 90 minutes.
All Capital cases are heard by a single judge in the High Court of Singapore. After conviction and sentencing, the sentenced has one appeal to the Court of Appeal of Singapore. If the appeal fails, the final recourse rests with the President of Singapore, who has the power to grant clemency on the advice of the Cabinet. The exact number of successful appeals is unknown. Poh Kay Keong had his conviction overturned after the Court found his statement to a Central Narcotics Bureau officer was made under duress.Successful clemency applications are thought to be even rarer. Since 1965, President's clemency has been granted six times. The last clemency was in May 1998 when Mathavakannan Kalimuthu received pardon from President Ong Teng Cheong with the sentence commuted to life imprisonment.
A very insightful article written by William Gibson is linked here
YONG VUI KONG, a Sabahan, was sentenced in November 2009 to death for drug trafficking. He was 19. On April 4, Yong lost his final appeal against a mandatory death sentence. He will be executed in three months unless he is granted clemency by Singapore's president.
Sabahan Yong Vui Kong is on death row in Singapore for drug trafficking. Malaysiakini is publishing Yong's final letters to Yetian, a member of the Save Vui Kong Campaign, in the next 12 weeks as he faces death.
Dear Yetian,(the person in who first brought his case into light)
Thank you for your letter, and thank you for giving me a platform and the strength to tell my story. This is my first letter. I hope to let everyone know what my life is like in prison.
First, let me introduce myself. My name is Yong Vui Kong. In early 2011, I celebrated my 23rd birthday in prison. I wasn't alone during my birthday. Lots of friends on the outside were also celebrating with me.
Why am I in jail? It's because I helped traffic drugs into Singapore. I was caught when I was 19. It's been a few years now. I am a death row inmate, and by right, I should have been dead long ago. But a lot of people have been helping me, and that's why I'm still alive today. If it wasn't for all these people, I think I'd have left this world long ago.
My mother doesn't know I've been sentenced to death. I've told her I'll be going to a far away place to seek enlightenment. I told her not to worry about me. She believed me.
Let me now tell you about my life inside here.
I get up at around 4 every morning. I don't have an alarm clock because I don't need one. I've gotten used to this routine, and it has not changed these past few years. Even the prison wardens know I am an early riser. They see me getting up each morning via the CCTV inside my cell.
After washing up and brushing my teeth, I'll spend time studying the (Buddhist) scriptures until 7am. After that, I'll meditate quietly until 9am. Some people might think I'm just trying to kill time, but in my heart, I believe it's better to make full use of my time than to just let it slip away.
I do not fear death
At 9am, I have breakfast. I don't eat the same things as the rest of the inmates. Even the wardens know this and will only deliver vegetarian meals to me.
Vegetarianism has become a habit for me. The benefits of vegetarianism is something you have to experience yourself. I can tell you it's a good thing, but you might not believe me. I encourage everyone to give vegetarianism a try.
In the past, when I knew I was going to die soon, I couldn't stop crying because I was scared. But the Buddhist priest who visits me every week has taught me not to fear death.
Earlier this year, a friend inside left us. Before he left, I chanted for him. He left peacefully.
Until I die, I'll use my time wisely to counsel people and tell them not to choose drugs.
Over the past few years, my relationship with my older brother, Yun Leong, has improved a great deal. We used to fight over all kinds of things.
But now, our relationship is much improved. If not for his help, you wouldn't be reading this letter now. I am really grateful to him. He visits me every Monday. We chit chat and he listens to me talk about Buddhism.
How many more Mondays will we have?
In the past, my rebelliousness made my brothers very unhappy. Now that I'm a changed person, my brothers feel much better. I think that's the least I can do.
Not enough time to learn everything
Actually, I'm doing very well in prison. The wardens show me a lot of respect. Whenever my brother visits, they would unshackle me and we'd bow to each other. My brother tells me they hold me in high regard. I am humbled to know that.
In my spare time, I study the scriptures. I'm afraid I won't have enough time to learn everything. I don't even think there's enough hours in a day for me to study. A lot of people think that it must be tortuous for me to spend an extended time in prison, but I feel good because I can make full use of the time to learn. I feel very fulfilled.
I like to chant. But because of the strict rules inside prison, I can't use normal meditation beads. That's because they're afraid I'll sharpen the crystal beads and use them to kill myself. My priest is very thoughtful. He used flour to make little beads, strung them up and gave them to me. I use them when I chant.
Suicide? I've never thought of it. Life is to be cherished, not squandered.
Yetian, thank you. I'll stop here today. Amitaba.
His tale is that of a wayward teen, one who took a road more convoluted than the rest of us, but is death really the only option for him. His hopes disdained, his dreams stripped. He shall never again enjoy the waves of water in his feet as he walks by the sea removing sand from his sandals. He shall never again sniff the smell of roasting coffee in a parlour nearby. He has reached acceptance, and unless he gets a presidential pardon, his fate is sealed.
Not a bad article for the solemn weekend that commemorates the death of the Lord Jesus Christ.
