Vigilo et spero

In English: I keep awake and I hope.

This is an extraordinarily simply Latin proverb, the sort of thing that can be taught on the first day of Latin class. The word "et" plus two simple first conjugation verbs.

The meaning, however, is profound. This is one of those proverbs where two parts are combined to create a greater whole.

To keep awake, to be "vigilant" (this English word comes from the same Latin verb, hence proving not every V word reflects the female genitalia), is a good thing.

It is also a good thing to be hopeful; you don't want to ever feel "desperate" (this English word comes from the same Latin verb, negated - which makes you wonder why wasn't Latin the root language of conversation in the first place).

Yet it would be possible to keep awake without hope. This would be the staying awake that comes from worry, fear, anxiety. My greatest example, Asians - more precisely, the Chinese Mug-till-death flag bearers. Excuse my lack of political correctness, but fuck I'll call a spade a spade any day. As you know, I'm stuck in the University of Edinburgh, the muck of conformity and lack of spirit. Every 10 minutes some fucked up nut will post up a facebook post like ZZZ stress exam, sien, what are the muscle attachments to the coracoid process....etc. For the love of God, deal with it and stop spamming. No one wants to know how much of a dick you are and nobody fucking cares about how much you fucking need to study cos end of the day you're all gonna end up like Jo, the conventional resident officer from the House of God. Yes my insolent friends, Davidsons, Harrisons, Kumar and Clark will get you them initials, but House of God will reflect your true future. The feeble attempts of educating some of you muggers by intricately weaving communication skills and patient centred care into the curriculum has reaped nothing because in my exalted opinion, you can't teach someone to be humane. It is a gift, and may I add one that only a selected few possess. You can be as nice as you want at face value to pass your freaking OSCEs but the rigid nature of your questioning for history taking shall be taken to your gravestone, so much so it shall read 'Here lies .....'

Why my angst you say....because idiots like you make medicine seem hard. The noblest of professions in the world, the Art of Healing, and turned it into a scientific process. Patients made into lab rats, mere tools for your so called acquirement of knowledge. William Osler once said, '

He who studies medicine without books sails an uncharted sea, but he who studies medicine without patients does not go to sea at all'

Which makes some of you jump at my throats stating even Osler wanted us to use patients as lab rats. What he truly meant was to listen to them. Listen to their tales. The best teacher is an experienced teacher. And it was whilst listening to his patients, did he discover raised tender nodules on the pulps of a lady's finger tip and vehemently coined the eponym Osler's Node.

Oh well now that the rant is off, and I've fucked over ALMOST every Asian Medic, time for the great news. I'm now a Mac user. And its pretty darn fucking awesome.

Also, AS many of you people secretly stalk all my facebook activities, May I add yes I do baked, I always have and no dont gimme that you dont look like one who bakes.

Yes i do realise there is a huge population of Fags that bake, and I do realise the image i portray as the unpolished jagged bearded roughian, it is against my principles to be gifted with the whisk and ladle. Well I am, so suck it up:) . Yes I am better than you at most things in life and life is unfair, which is why you're reading my blog and shaking your head at the audacity but lets face it, i couldnt care less about your blogs now could I. hmmm, good way to ward off readers now isnt it. Anyway, in other news, Someone online told me people only read stuff on this blog cos they've got nothing better to do in life:) It wasn't me who said it. Rather this person whom i've possibly not spoken to in 2 years so yeah, she's judged all you people:)

The song above, Awaken, i thought was appropriate seeing that it has been eons since i last blogged. Yes life has taken its toll on me. Age has crept up. Phooey... I just couldnt be bothered to be honest, and like I still can't be hence the crappy blog entry. I guess in growing up, i've become less argumentative and provocative, and just look on as the world eats itself with mucky numbnuts who centralise their life alongside the pursuit of a degree rather than knowledge. I can safely say till this day i've never turned down anything with the excuse of exams, and my rep speaks for itself. 2 hours of your life spent kite flying will not affect much of your sad life. But then again, if you are the group of people that im hitting at, you're life possibly consists of studying, facebooking, stalking blogs, studying, going out with friends to the library to study, going for 1 meal a week outdoors and taking 56 photos of peace signs, engaging in a potluck post exams, and tagging your friends as meals, cooking substandard dishes but talking it up, whilst the world is going out and having a good time. you live in your nutshell and yet you feel you have enjoyed sufficiently in life, not realising you were better off just staying in your native land doing the exact same thing you've been doing all your boring life.

Why the angst you may ask, well simple. Its cause my Louis Dega is leaving and thus the idea of spending the rest of my time without a fellow visionary sickens me. A culture we share, the pursuing of knowledge for the betterment of oneself rather than a sheet of paper with our names on it is a lost cause to many these days. Which is why i bring myself to the topic of wit. A dying form of intelligence. One that is not acquired but inherited. Like the ability to deduce and critically analyse. The 'street' smart intelligence as it is commonly referred to. The Right Brain users. Without Dega, Papillon is but a prisoner that refuses to conform.

Save yourselves lost souls... Pursuit life and its infinite wonders, rather than the straight pubic hairs that you people possess...

Fuck im hungry.. fuck you all...