veni, vidi et capiebar ad anum

''I came, I saw and I endured a rear assault''




I happened to meet someone from IMU at Dome yesterday. She spoke to me about this blog and how it has slowly gone cold. In her words, I am only fun when I'm in a tight spot.

I pondered upon this thought and I realized what it meant. From my outbursts and exile from the Indian Gang, to the fiery chastising of the Annie Tay incident, to the crowning of the Tharveen group as the Royal Jester of the Court, I had but one thing in common. The need to provoke. I recently notice that while a war is ensuing, I have a desirable need to evoke a response rather than let it simmer down and so I provoke. And so predictable are my 'foes' that the evoked response is more or less previously calculated and dealt with in a way that makes me seem like Blondie (Clint Eastwood in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly). Yes, I may not seem like the hero at the beginning but by carefully ensuring the rest fall into the other 2 categories I seal my splendor with a smile:)

I admit, the above was a recent finding. Up till today I always assumed my response to a tight situation would be to raise the roof guns blazing or to bow out quietly. Ok roof raising mainly.
I recall a time back in highschool. The Soon-to-be Head Prefect was a friend of mine. Yes, lets assume my group of friends and I were kingmakers. Such was our influence that the firm favourite, (who finally became the head of the disciplinary committee) was ousted out. And it was in our dumb assumption that having the Head Prefect owe you a favour would be beneficial. This was the first time I was introduced to the word Go Getter. I realised that he had did the impossible. He manipulated the manipulative and influential Jonathan and Sanjeet to his liking and later tried knocking us off. Ah yes, beware the used condom that'll come to haunt you. He penalized each of us, Jonathan, Myself, JaySonn and Arvind (ok this guy was a crook to begin with, he just added to the masses). JaySonn was first. Being a highly rated prefect, JaySonn was called to the newly formed Court Of Prefects to explain several minor misdemeanors and warned that a warning letter was on its way. Next in line was myself. And I kept quiet thru the ordeal studying the situation. He had called me up because i drew a monkey on the blackboard and wrote his name under it as a joke. He also questioned my unorthodox methods of performing my duties and finally complained about my behaviour in class. I informed him I was a student first and then a prefect and I had no time for this crap and left the Court of Prefects. At this moment, the enemy had been sized up. Jon would be next. We had to drop him in a hole. We informed Jon that the head prefect and 2 others would be there (his 2 assistants). The female assistant was a short grumpy loud girl. The other was a firm follower of his, a true assistant. Jon realised that by getting to her, he could roll the dice in his favour. As we saw it, the head prefect was a dick, and the rest were his balls. Cut one ball off and he gets careful. without balls he's just a dick and dicks even girls can handle:)

So jon went on a rampage, eating in class, skipping school and doing what jon does best, just irritating the hell out of the head and his assistant. the girl was in the next class you see. We'd once in a while send msgs to the top of the blackboard in the next class with a silly drawing of her as the teacher was teaching cos we knew she sat in front so she'd get so annoyed and pull it off just before the teacher saw it. it was a pulley system we invented. Yes we were from the best class you see:)

Eventually Jon was called up to the court. Firstly when they asked about him eating in class, he threw out a strip of Ranitidine for gastritis. this gave him all the right to eat whenever he needed to:). about the noise in class we made, We asked for documented proof from teachers (who never bothered much really as long as we did our work). And his final task was to explain his absence from class ever so frequently. and he mentioned he has gastritis- hence the pills, hence the MC and that even in his condition he is expected to serve as a prefect standing up under the sun. He then teases the head and his assistant as both their fathers were doctors yet they didn't consider his condition to be serious. The short girl got fired up and Jon told her by being short, her ass is closer to her brain, hence her brain is closer to shit than a normal persons. I know that was a classic statement. she got so mad she stormed out. This declared our war with the Board. Even the Board was divided. as they had not been installed yet, the senior Board (which were our allies as we spun the story such to make us seem like victims of power abuse) was still in power. The Junior Board (our batch) were divided. Some thought we had a case, the rest were busy sucking up to the Head Prefect for brownie points. it proved to be a grueling 2 months. We had to lobby ourselves to all the other prefects. In one meeting, they had called upon 'someone' who had broken the prefects ethics by informing outsiders what happened in the Court of Prefects. well this person was me no guesses there. and like they thought they could brand me as a traitor. sadly everyone had heard my side of the story. so when they asked what should be done to this prefect, a unanimous answer of nothing was given. and the head prefect then proceeded to ask Alif Aiman. LOL this guy is the blurrest prefect alive. He's also straightforward. But I was placed alongside him near the drain for duty that week and so i told him every detail of my ordeal. When they asked why i should be free, Alif said, because He is my friend. I started chuckling amidst the tension. The BODs then began looking around questioning who the character was, as some were in the dark. And the head prefect threatened to mention the name of the culprit. I stood up and said i was the culprit, to a raptuous applause and to add to this, those who were on the fence commended my for my bravery in admitting my 'wrongdoings'. so the ball had bounced back into the head prefects court. only thing was that he was all alone now. his 2 assistants were so undone by the whole ordeal they wanted out. The senior prefects refused to attend the installation ceremony as they were against the head.

Chaos is my garden of ZEN.

in Desperation caught up with the head prefect and he informed his close friend that he was about to take matters into his own hands. He mentioned he was going to plant something in Jon's bag to get him a black record and suspend him from being a prefect. (our school was quite strict on prefects carrying Porn and Ciggies). Sadly his ally happened to blurt this out. and like a statutory declaration, we made him write what he had said with his signature and with a witness. We used this as leverage and brought the case up to the Disciplinary teacher. She happened to be the head prefects No 1 fan. So we knew we were at a handicap. However we had a few insiders that helped us convey the message and she agreed to hear us out. We finally gave her a list of wrongdoings by him. Jon wanted him to be sacked as the head prefect. Such was our animosity towards him at that point. However a public apology was made and all was soon forgotten. The teacher complained she had many sleepless nights being the disciplinary teacher and became depressed. she relinquished the position the following year. I felt bad for that as she turned out the biggest loser in this whole ordeal. The Head Prefect swallowed the bitter pill and apologized. His assistants never did but we somehow had it easy from then on. I admit we were bad excuses for prefects. But it was the first time a revolution was started. And amazingly the whole incident was echoed around Subang. Many other schools questioned the incident and we became overnight Bravehearts. There was also a rumour that we were supposed to be promoted to BOD's to keep us quiet/to keep the others in check by another teacher but we werent interested to begin with. we were too lazy to carry on such responsibilities and furthermore, we were the renegade prefects and had an image to uphold:)
from then on we kinda walked with a different swagger. I remember the whole incident being one that i really felt uncomfortable when it began as things were stacked against us. I'd call up Jon and ask him if we're gonna get caught out for trying to topple the head prefect. We hung in there and laugh about the incident today. Teachers took great interest in the whole story and we kept getting questioned by several concerned teachers privately about our side of the story. The Head Prefect however never quite recovered from the incident and i wish i could turn things around today.

This incident made me realise that in every battle, the one that loses his cool first shall make the first mistake. He did it here by making a rash statement to his ally, Ben did it by shouting back at Prof Annie Tay, the gang- lol lets leave them out for this one, (Life is great, they got pushed to the south hemisphere and I'm up north), and tharveen wanted a battle of wits when he had none:).

Back in Mara College Banting I had several run ins with fellow batchmates, and the assistant principal. But this post is long enough as it is. Maybe next time.

moral of the story, stay rooted to the ground cos when the storm is over, your opponents will probably be dead tired from trying to wither it. they are at your peril then on:)


And to my ex-prom date, Avinder:)
Happy 23rd bday. you rocked that night.
Now lets see what seipatkong has to say on this 'affair':)